I probably shouldn’t speak for you, but this is certainly my worst nightmare. I tweeted this yesterday, but thought it still deserving of a snarky comment again today. Somewhere near Manchester, England is the Alcohol-Free Shop, a store dedicated to all things non-alcoholic. They carry non-alcoholic beer, wine, cider, ready-made cocktails and celebration drinks. They actually don’t carry that many different N/A Beers — are there very many? — but have plenty of other products.

But here’s the one think that actually bothers me. The company’s motto, slogan, whatever is “alcohol-free is good for you.” My problem with that is, of course, it’s not remotely true. Study after study has shown that people who drink moderately live longer, and are generally healthier, than people who either drink too much or abstain altogether. Being alcohol-free is therefore, in effect, bad for you. It’s good for you at all.

Under the heading Why Choose Alcohol Free?, they suggest “it is also recommended that we all have at least two alcohol-free days a week.” I’ve never heard that one before, have you? And how convenient that the first place I’ve heard it is a place trying to sell non-alcoholic drinks.

Then there’s this gem:

Our range of non-alcoholic, alcohol-free, and de-alcoholised drinks give people the opportunity to still enjoy a glass of wine with a meal or a bottle of beer on a sunny terrace and keep within healthy alcohol-consumption limits.

I’ve only had a few N/A wines but the ones I’ve tried were every bit as bad as the N/A beers. If you want to lay off the alcohol for a night, just have something naturally non-alcoholic, not an impostor that tastes like crap anyway. What’s the point?

Here’s their list of when and who might want non-alcoholic drinks:

• Healthy lifestyles [except it's healthier to drink alcohol moderately]
• Sports and fitness enthusiasts [wasn't there something last year about beer being better to hydrate with after a work-out than water?]
• Weight watchers [except the calorie difference doesn't make up for the flavor differential]
• Drivers [sure, but just take the night off if you're the DD]
• Expectant mums [actually, some moderate alcohol is fine according to most MD's]
• Expectant dads [huh?]
• Nursing mothers [many pediatricians recommend a beer a day to promote lactation]
• People on medication [if you're sick, you're probably not out drinking]
• People suffering some illnesses [see previous comment]
• Alcoholics
• People with mental health problems [if I'm crazy, I'm drinking, but maybe that's just me]
• Religious observations

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