Saturday’s ad is the last (that I know of) in the Budweiser historical series from 1908. The black and white ad is text-heavy and includes a history lesson on James Monroe, our fifth president and the architect of the Monroe Doctrine. After the requisite historical bit, it launches into this priceless series of claims:
WHEN old Mother Earth grows better malting barley than northern soil produces —
WHEN the fertile valleys and verdant mountain slopes of Old Bohemia grow better hops —
WHEN natures produces better and purer waters —
WHEN brew-science has been developed to a higher art —
THEN, and not till then, will it be possible to produce a better beer than Budweiser.
Good luck with that.
Here’s another interesting list of the The Brewer’s Ten Commandment, this one more contemporary. It was created by Kelly Ryan, my friend Luke’s assistant brewer at Epic Brewing in New Zealand. He apparently recently left to take a job at a new brewpub in Hamilton, and on his new blog, BeeRevolution, proposed the following as his Codex Fermentarius:
- Thou shalt not covet another brewers’ kegs or casks.
- Honour thy other brewer’s recipe choice.
- Rejoice to thy daughter yeast and thy mother yeast.
- Thy glass shalt always be full. Never half full. Never half empty.
- Remember thy first brew day. And keep it holy.
- Thou shalt not steal another brewer’s hop combination. This is hopdultery.
- Thou shalt not covet another brewery’s name. Or beer name. Especially if it is that of a German cyclist.
- Seven days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work. Thou art a brewer. Drinking is work.
- Taste thy water, taste thy malted grains, taste thy yeast. Don’t taste thy hop flowers.
- Thou shalt not drink false beverages. We know what thee are.
In the body of the text, Ryan also offered to expand the list, and invited people to suggest additional commandments. Here’s a sample of some of the ones he got so far:
- Release not the fruits of thy labour until thou has rested (at least) upon the seventh day (to banish all traces of the unholy VDK).
- Thou shall wasteth NO beer. Even if it is 8am.
- Thou shalt have no other beverage before Beer. A whiskey chaser afterwards, fine, but not before.
- Ever shalt thou have full tanks and clean lines.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s brewsheet.
- Thou shall worship local brews, locally – only if your hair doesn’t drop out.
- Thou shall cry over spilt beer.
- Thou shall burp as a sign of worship.
There’s some good ones in there. What would you add?