Pretentious Beer Glasses

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These are some of the most unusual and inventive beer glasses I’ve run across for some time now. They’re hand made, mouth-blown glasses by a Matthew Cummings of Louisville, Kentucky and are available through his Etsy store, Pretentious Beer Glasses. You just know that many people will call his efforts pretentious so I love the fact that he decided to just own it and called his company by that name. He only opened for business earlier this month. Below are the five regular glasses that he makes (but for more photos, and to see them larger, visit him at Etsy):

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From left to right: The Hoppy Beer Glass, Ale Glass, Subtle Beer Glass, Malty Beer Glass and the Aromatic Beer Glass.

Each glass is designed for a different range of beers, and you can probably work out what beers go in which glasses by their names.

Below are the same glasses, but filled with beer.
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Here’s a breakdown of each glass:

The Hoppy Beer Glass

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The Hoppy Beer Glass description:

This handmade beer glass is designed to highlight hoppy beers, such as IPAs APAs and also light Belgians. The tulip shape is a favorite glass style of high end beer vendors because of its versatility and enhancement of complicated beers. This tulip is engraved with four dashes on the sides, one for your thumb, and three for your fingers. I make each glass by hand in the hotshop (glass studio) and carve the finger grips on the glass the old fashioned way…lathe cutting. Same process that crystal companies use for their cut crystal glassware, only I leave the glass with a nice satin finish instead of polishing it, which provides better grip. Each glass is 5″ tall and 3.5″ wide, holding 12 oz of liquid with a 1-2 oz head (remember, dimensions will vary slightly as each glass is made by hand).

The Hoppy glass is also available with two types of hand grips, dashes and finger prints.

The Ale Glass

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The Ale Glass description:

This might be the most versatile glass of the set. It is a variation on a typical pint glass that highlights most ales, lighter beers, and hefeweizens. This is an extremely popular glass design for a reason, and I didn’t see any need for drastic alteration to it’s form. But I had to make it mine (as far as design goes), so I went graffiti on it. Take a recognized format, bomb it, and make it your own. Hence the ‘stache. Dimensions are 6.25″ tall and 3.25″ wide (remember, dimensions will vary slightly as each glass is made by hand).

The Subtle Beer Glass

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The Subtle Beer Glass description:

This handmade beer glass is designed to highlight any lighter flavored beer, Lager, Pilsner, Kolsch, etc. The glass is in the traditional format for the style, a tall, narrow cylindrical shape. Yet it possesses a wonderfully “softened” bottom made by indenting the hot glass with newspaper pads while it is being blown. The “softened” bottom is not only ergonomic, but it reveals all the different hues of each beer by presenting the liquid in different densities. Dimensions are approximately 6.75″ tall by 2.5″ wide and holds a 12 oz. pour with 2-3 oz. of head (remember, dimensions will vary slightly as each glass is made by hand).

The Malty Beer Glass

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The Malty Beer Glass description:

This handmade beer glass is meant to highlight just about any beer with distinct notes of malt…including Stouts, and Porters. The glass is also wonderful for any unfiltered beer. The point coming out of the bottom of the glass allows the sediment to cascade to the outer edge of the bottom. While the lowest “waist” keeps the sedimentation at the bottom and out of your teeth! The glass is about 6″ tall and 3.5″ wide, and holds a 12oz. pour with significant head (remember these are handmade and dimensions will vary slightly).

The Aromatic Beer Glass

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The Aromatic Beer Glass description:

This glass is designed to highlight any aromatic beer and or high ABV beer. Obviously reminiscent of the snifter or full bodied red wine glass, it concentrates the volatiles and aromatics of the beer to properly enhance the experience. The main design element is an abstract mountain pushed into the bottom of the glass. As you drink the beverage, the mountain is slowly revealed, emerging from the dark liquid. Dimensions are 4″ tall and 4″ wide, holding 12 oz (remember, dimensions will vary slightly as each glass is made by hand).

In addition, Cummings has one more glass in his store, The Dual, which is an ideal glass for mixing beers:

The Dual Beer Glass

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The Dual Beer Glass description:

This is the first specialty glass released by the Pretentious Beer Glass Company. It is a cylindrical beer glass with two separate chambers inside that combine into one towards the lip. I first began working on this design after having a bartender incorrectly pour a Half and Half, blending the two beers together. This glass is not just the solution to the problem of using a jig to properly pour those types of beers, but it allows you to mix any two beers, even ones that have similar viscosities. A wonderful secondary benefit to this glass is that you can smell the bouquet of both beers simultaneously, where normally you only smell the beer that settles on top. Dimensions vary more on this glass than the others due to production techniques, and are approximately 5-6″ tall and 3″ wide, holding 10-12 oz.

The glasses are a little pricey, but not when you consider that they’re made by hand and are utterly unique. It will be interesting to see how they work. I’ve ordered a set of five, although they won’t make it here by Christmas, and I should point out that you won’t be able to get them for a gift this year since he’s been flooded with orders and is currently sold out.

To see many more photos, and larger ones, visit Matthew Cummings’ Etsy store, Pretentious Beer Glasses.

Football Beer Caddy

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I found this odd little gadget while searching for an image this morning. It’s a Football Beer Caddy, apparently “handcrafted from recycled steel.” The 12-inch tall steel sculture is meant to hold your beer, though I can’t for the life of me understand why you’d do that. After pouring your bottle into a glass — you are doing that, right? — why would you need a caddy for the empty bottle?
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According to the website, they’re “handcrafted by American and European artisans using recycled steel and copper that is bent, cut, welded and brushed resulting in original works of art for the perfect unique football gift idea or unusual home accent piece. The moment you hold an H & K metal sculpture, you will appreciate its craftsmanship, quality and value.” Maybe, but if you want your own, $81.99 is what you’ll need to plunk down to get one of these football beer caddies for your very own. Crazy.

Infinite Beer Can Keychain

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Here’s a fun little item from Japan, albeit a little on the strange side. If you have a Pavlovian response to the sound of a beer can opening, you’re going to love this. It’s called “Mugen Beer,” which means “infinite beer,” presumably because you can open the can over and over again. Pop the cap and you’ll hear one of several sounds like the classic opening crack, pouring, bubbles, drinking sounds and even a “secret sound.”

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You can get it in four different color schemes, including yellow, black, grey, white (or red and blue if you prefer a soda can).

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You can order your very own online at the Japan Trend Shop, though it is a little pricey at $23 (plus $15 shipping). But can really put a price on that sound?

Gnome For Me, Thanks

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It is not known precisely where the mythical Gnome originated, or why, but their mythology spread throughout Europe. Eventually the more common garden gnome originated in Germany in the 1800s and by the 1840s had spread to England and other parts of Europe.

In Germany, the gnomes (or dwarfs as they are known there) were often portrayed as miners. There is a theory that miners, of small stature, came from the island of Crete around 1,500 BC to dig for gold and silver in parts of Europe, including southeast Germany, and they might have been the origin of the mining dwarf myth. Dwarfs often featured in German fairy tales, such as those told by the Brothers Grimm, and dwarf figurines were thought to bring good fortune to a home if placed in the house or garden which is why they were adopted by so many German homes. The familiar pointed red hat that we see on many garden gnomes today was originally a representation of the hat that was once worn by miners in the mountains of south-east Germany.

Now Gnomeland, a UK dealer in garden gnomes is offering a beer drinking garden gnome, perfect for your hop yard.

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You can also customize the label on the beer bottle your garden gnome is holding on to, as shown in this Newcastle example.

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Of course, at least one other beer variety exists, the gnomes created by Bas for his wife’s Urthel beer. Oh, and you want more gnomey puns — and who doesn’t? — check out Gnome Pun Intended.