Humor

tenth-blake
Thanks to an alert reader, Susan G., who noticed this video about a Monster.com job posting for an “Import & Craft Trade Brewer” position in the Bay Area advertised by MillerCoors. Actually, the person hired will work for 10th & Blake, which is their craft and import division. The company is looking for “a beer ambassador and homebrewing coach in the western U.S. [to] Teach sales teams and consult on new beer recipes.” They want someone who “knows all things beer.”

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wynkoop
There’s at least one every April Fool’s Day. Here’s Marty Jones from the Wynkoop brewpub in Denver, Colorado with a short video introducing their latest style of beer: Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout. Enjoy.

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food-placesetting-blue
So I’m walking through the grocery store the other day; and I’m hungry, which is never a good combination. I’m perusing the frozen food section, when something catches my eye. It’s Cheddar Bites, or more specifically “Crispy Beer Battered Aged White Cheddar” by Alexia. Now it’s not that they’re beer-battered — which I’m pleased about — but it’s nothing new. That’s not what caught my attention. On the box is a small tri-colored square, at an angle, to the right of the main label, declaring that these cheddar bites aren’t made with just any old beer, but are “Craft Beer Battered!” Woo Hoo! We’ve come a long way, baby, when that becomes a selling point. It made me laugh a bit, and naturally there’s no information about what craft beer was used for the batter. The company’s in Washington, so that’s a clue, I suppose.

Still, I find it interesting that a food company thought it was enough of a selling point to include it as a separate element on the packaging. That certainly suggests that they believed it would appeal to a certain type of consumer, and specifically one for whom the fact that the beer was “craft beer” had some meaning. That’s an interesting development. And it worked, I suppose, since I bought them. The family verdict was mixed. My wife thought they were just “meh,” whereas I liked them just fine; though in fairness my tastes run toward anything that’s not too good for me and can be considered comfort food.

Has anyone else seen similar labeling on packaged foods? It’s the first time I’ve noticed it, but I’m curious if this is happening enough to be considered the beginning of a trend.

cheddar-bites

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humor
The age old debate about whether the beer glass is half full or half empty is no longer a matter of individual mood or personal philosophy. Once and for all, the riddle has now been solved, since as SnorgTees reveals, Technically, The Glass Is Always Full.

alwaysfull_fullpic

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brew-dog
Regardless of which side you’re on in the mock feud between BrewDog and CAMRA (The Campaign For Real Ale), this is pretty funny. James Watt of BrewDog just tweeted this hilarious poster portraying the two sides. I don’t know who created it, but it’s priceless.

brewdog-camra-poster

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Seuss-logo
Today, of course, is the birthday of Theodore Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss. Two years ago my kids were on a Dr. Seuss kick and we read quite a few of his books multiple times, with Green Eggs & Ham emerging as the family favorite. I was playing around with the words one night, as I often do, and decided to see if I could come up with a beer-themed parody of the book. I originally posted the results two years ago, and here they are once again; Craft Beer & Ale, by Dr. J. Enjoy!

CRAFT BEER & ALE

Sam I am

I am Sam

Sam I am

That Sam’s upscale.
That Sam regales.
I do not like that Sam wholesale!

Do you drink
craft beer & ale?
Seuss-2

I do not drink them, Sam, they’re stale.
I do not drink
craft beer & ale.

Would you drink them
weak or strong?

I would not drink them
weak or strong.
I would not drink them, it is wrong.

I do not drink
craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them, Sam, curtail.

Would you drink them with more hops?
Would you drink them chased with schnapps?

I do not drink them
with more hops.
I do not drink them
chased with schnapps.
I do not drink them
weak or strong.
I do not drink them
all night long.
I do not drink
craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them,
Sam, you’re off the trail.

Would you drink them
in a pub?
Would you drink them
at a club?

Not in a pub.
Not at a club.
Not with more hops.
Not chased with schnapps.
I would not drink them
weak or strong.
I would not drink them, it is wrong.
I would not drink craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them, Sam — no sale.

Would you? Could you? In a bar?
Drink them! Drink them! Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a bar.

You may like them. You will see.
You may like them with some cheese!
cheese

I would not, could not with some cheese.
Not in a bar! You let me be.

I do not like them in a pub.
I do not like them at a club.
I do not like them with more hops.
I do not like them chased with schnapps.
I do not like them weak or strong.
I do not like them all night long.
I do not like craft beer & ale.
I do not like them, Sam, you’re beyond the pale.

A stein! A stein!
A stein! A stein!
Could you, would you,
in a stein?

Not in a stein! Not in a stein!
Not with some cheese! Sam! Let me be!
stein

I would not, could not, in a pub.
I could not, would not, at a club.
I will not drink them with more hops.
I will not drink them chased with schnapps.
I will not drink them weak or strong.
I will not drink them, it is wrong.
I do not like craft beer & ale.
I do not like them, Sam, you’ve gone off the rail.

Say! In a glass?
Here in a glass!
Would you, could you,
in a glass?

I would not, could not, in a glass.
glass

Would you, could you, while you dine?

I would not, could not, while I dine.
Not in a glass. Not in a stein.
Not in a bar. Not with some cheese.
I do not drink them, Sam, you see.
Not with more hops. Not in a pub.
Not chased with schnapps. Not in a club.
I will not drink them weak or strong.
I will not drink them all night long.

You do not drink
craft beer & ale?

I do not drink them,
Sam, you make me wail.

Could you, would you,
drink with Charlie?

I would not, could not,
drink with Charlie.

Would you, could you,
with more barley?

I could not, would not,
with more barley,
I will not, will not,
drink with Charlie.

I will not drink them while I dine.
I will not drink them in a stein.
Not in a glass! Not with some cheese.
Not in a bar! You let me be!
I do not drink them in a pub.
I do not drink them at a club.
I do not drink them with more hops.
I do not drink them chased with schnapps.
I do not drink them weak or strong.
I do not drink them IT IS WRONG!

I do not drink craft beer & ale!
I do not drink them, Sam — you fail.

You do not drink them. So you say.
Try them! Try them! And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam! If you will let me be,
I will try them. You will see.

Seuss-1

Say! I like craft beer & ale!
I do! I like them, Sam, you prevail!
And I would drink them with more barley.
And I would drink with homebrew Charlie…

And I will drink them while I dine.
And in a glass. And in a stein.
And in a bar. And with some cheese.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will drink them in a pub.
And I will drink them at a club.
And I will drink them with more hops.
And I will drink them chased with schnapps.
And I will drink them weak or strong.
Say! I will drink them ALL NIGHT LONG!

I do so love
craft beer at home!
Thank you!
Thank you, Sam-Cala-Gione!

ILikeit


All artwork by Rob Davis. Thanks, Rob! All words after Theodore Seuss Geisel by Dr. J. If you’re so inclined, you can also see the original text side by side with my parody at Craft Beer & Ale Compared.

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Schlafly, Texas Ranger

February 10, 2012

If this hilarious video for the annual The Repeal of Prohibition Beer Festival doesn’t make you want to attend, I don’t know what else would. The festival will be held at Schlafly Bottleworks in St. Louis, Missouri on Saturday, April 14th, 2012 from noon until 5:00 p.m.

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Football Beer Caddy

February 5, 2012

I found this odd little gadget while searching for an image this morning. It’s a Football Beer Caddy, apparently “handcrafted from recycled steel.” The 12-inch tall steel sculture is meant to hold your beer, though I can’t for the life of me understand why you’d do that. After pouring your bottle into a glass — [...]

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What’s SF Beer Week Like?

February 3, 2012

John Heylin, of the Nor Cal Beer Guide, along with several other BABB members, created a little spoof or homage film for SF Beer Week entitled What’s SF Beer Week Like? Drawing on Reservoir Dogs and the cult status of Russian River’s Pliny the Elder, the minute and a half video might make you cry, [...]

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Mother’s Brewing Spoofs Laverne & Shirley

December 22, 2011

Ha, this is funny spoof, especially if you remember the Happy Days spin-off Laverne & Shirley, who worked at the fictional Shotz Brewery, which was located in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Mother’s Brewing is not to far away (just a few states and not quite 600 miles) in Springfield, Missouri, and they’ve created their own version of [...]

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Pearls Before Swine On A-B InBev

December 21, 2011

Today’s comic strip Pearls Before Swine, written by former San Francisco attorney Stephan Pastis, took a funny swipe at Anheuser-Busch InBev. [Thanks to Motor for sending me the strip.]

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How Santa Got A Red Suit

December 17, 2011

It looks like Santa Claus prefers red ale.

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Occupy Pubs: A Glass Roots Movement

December 16, 2011

My good friend and colleague, Lisa Morrison — a.k.a. The Beer Goddess — just let me know about her latest project, and just in time for Christmas. She’s created a line of t-shirts, hats, stickers, iPhone cases, and so much more with a humorous nod to the Occupy Wall Street movement to show support for [...]

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Muppets’ Beer-Drinking Habits

November 21, 2011

I got a nice tweet from Gerard Walen of Road Trips For Beer, who’s obviously been paying attention enough to know how much of a Muppets fan I am. He had a chance to see an advance screening of the new Muppet film that opens Thanksgiving and he assures me that Porter and I “will [...]

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?

October 28, 2011

Surely this has happened to you as often as me. You’re at a picnic or buffet and you’re trying to juggle your beer and fill your plate with food. At such times, you wish you had a third hand. So while searching the other day for another image, I stumbled upon this on a Tumblr [...]

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We Are The 5%

October 27, 2011

While I support the Occupy Wall Street movement, this is something even nearer and dearer to my heart. I don’t know who came up with it, I saw it when Firestone Walker tweeted it, along with the hashtag #OccupythePub and the simple message: “Craft beer drinkers unite. We might only be 5% of the market [...]

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