Patent No. D352417S: Beer Keg

Today in 1994, US Patent D352417 S was issued, an invention of Richard A. Petroske and James E. Richardson, assigned to the Miller Brewing Company, for their “Beer Keg.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:

The ornamental design for a beer keg, as shown and described.


Beer In Ads #1699: Tennis – Golf – Baseball

Monday’s ad is for Miller High Life, from 1939. Tennis – Golf – Baseball. “Wherever there’s action — wherever people are doing things — you’ll find Miller Hight Life.” Are there any places where people aren’t doing things? But by far my favorite line is this sentence. “There’s a blithe lift to this sparkling, amber brew that puts it in time with action and fun.” Pure poetry.


Beer In Ads #1697: Distinctive

Saturday’s ad is for Miller High Life, from 1949. I guess “distinctive” is certainly one of the words you could use to describe this scene, but to me she looks a little bit too much like Meryl Streep’s Mom if she had been in Terry Gilliam’s film “Brazil.” All she really needs is a shoe on her head to seal the deal, but I suppose that ginormous Rorschach-test brooch works just as well.


Beer In Ads #1686: Burning The Mortgage

Tuesday’s ad is for Miller High Life, from the 1940s. “A toast to you — with The Champagne of Bottled Beer.” The assembled group drinking beer is celebrating the tradition known as “Burning the Mortgage.” I have heard of these, but I don’t think this is something many people do anymore. Probably because we don’t stay in one house for very long. Nice they got their servent to dress up as the Miller Girl to serve the beer.


Beer In Ads #1667: Why? “Duh”

Thursday’s ad is another one for Miller Lite, again most likely from 1987 or 88. Also featuring comedian Joe Piscopo, who left Saturday Night Live in 1984, after four seasons. Around 1987 and 1988 he did television and print ads for Miller Lite. In this one, the tagline wonders about “A Word From ‘Python’ Piscopo Ex-Wrestler About Miller Lite.” That word? “Duh.” Another intellectually stimulating ad. It’s interesting that in yesterday’s drag queens ad, compared to today’s wrestlers in this ad that they look almost the same. Very colorful outfits, big hair (except when bald) and just as good looking. ANd it still doesn’t make the beer look any more appealing.


Beer In Ads #1666: Why? “To Keep The Girlish Figure”

Wednesday’s ad is for Miller Lite, most likely from 1987 or 88. When comedian Joe Piscopo left Saturday Night Live in 1984, after four seasons, he did a few films — I did like Johnny Dangerously — and around 1987 and 1988 did television and print ads for Miller Lite. In this one, the tagline asks “Why ‘Helga’ Piscopo Ex-east German Swimmer Drinks Miller Lite.” The answer, surprisingly, is not because his taste buds were lost as a side effect to steroid use, but “To Keep His Girlish Figure.” Piscopo, in drag, and three similarly attired friends from a bad version of La Cage aux Folles, are drinking Miller Lite and winkingly making fun of it being diet beer. It certainly doesn’t make drinking the beer look terribly attractive so I’m a little unclear how effective it could have been.


Beer In Ads #1623: Same Good Taste Everywhere!

Tuesday’s ad is for Miller High Life, from 1962. After a day of duck hunting, no matter where you are, the beer will taste the same. I love that one of the guys is drinking so much faster than the other one. His glass is empty while the guy on the right with the flannel sleeve hasn’t even touched his, and must be thinking. “Dude, you gulped your beer down already!?!”


Beer In Ads #1621: Put The Finest Label … On Your Snacking Table

Sunday’s ad is for Miller High Life, from 1960. This is another in the “Put The Finest Label … On Your Table” series, with this one focusing on what looks like a generous amount of snacks, finger foods and appetizers, plus a fairly full entrée plate. As before, the woman seems to be doing all of the work, smiling even, as the man pours himself a beer. And there appears to be only one bottle and only one glass, so she’s too bust to stop to have a drink, one supposes. Of course, it’s possible he’s pouring the beer for her, and that’s why she’s smiling. In 1960? Nah, I’m going with my first scenario.