Food Hates You, Too

Every Sunday I take the kids to the library. I’m a voracious reader, and I’m grateful to an aunt, and to some extent my mother, for instilling in me that passion for books and literature. So it’s very important to me that I try to do the same for my own kids, and so far they both love books. Last Sunday, my daughter Alice picked out a book called Food Hates You, Too and Other Poems by Robert Weinstock.


The cover alone was reason enough, but some of the poems are pretty funny. My kids are also following in my food phobic footsteps and are very picky eaters. I’m better now — not exactly cured — but my Mom would be spinning in her grave if she knew all the foods I’ve eaten since I moved out of her house.

So the titular poem Food Hates You, Too is a pretty funny concept about how some of the food we don’t like might hate us, too.

The opening stanza:

If everyone hates different foods,
Then couldn’t it be true
That creamed chipped beef dislikes Gertrude,
And liver gags on Lou.

And here’s the final two quatrains:

If cotton candy, apple pie,
And french fries looked at you
And said, “Gross! Blecchh! Nope, I won’t try.
I’ll never like it. Ew!

I’m sure you’d say, “Hey! That’s no fair!
Give me a chance! You should
Just try me. Pretty please? I swear!!
With sugar on top …? I’m good!”


There are maybe two dozen fun poems for kids in the book, most of them about food. The Cheese Sonnet is great and so is a short one about two pieces of Toast named Ned and Fred. But I’ll leave you with a final poem entitled Doughnuts.

I go nuts for doughnuts,
All tingles from Pringles
And swoony from bacon,
If I’m not mistaken.

Indeed I do.


  1. beerman49 says

    Cute – but the author must not know that PROCTER & GAMBLE introduced Pringles in the mid 70’s. Whether they still own the brand I don’t know, as I don’t buy those fake chips made from instant spuds that taste like salty dregs from a soap-making vat :)

  2. says

    Beerman49, I’m the author (sad but true) and I’m not quite sure what Proctor&Gamble and/or the introduction date of Pringles has to do with getting tingly from them or mentioning Pringles in a poem. I have no idea who invented bacon or when it was invented but it makes me swoony nonetheless and I’m not suggesting anyone else should eat or like Pringles or bacon or that either is good for you. I’m merely singing their delectable praises and am trying to remember the last time I enjoyed a tube of Pringles. Yum… Jay, I’m super glad your daughter Alice liked the book–the book is dedicated to my daughter Alice, who everyone calls Pearl. Pearl is luckily the world’s best eater. I was the world’s worst when I was four–much to my own mother’s constant chagrin. Many thanks for the nice shout out and your excellent blog!

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