I came across this list at Forbes when I was reading the original Forbes story about the world’s heaviest-drinking countries. This is their list of the Top Ten Hangover Cures, which I’ve reprinted below.
- Water (Lots of It)
- Sports Drinks
- Over-the-Counter Pain Relievers
- Vitamins B6 and B12
- Berocca
- Prickly Pear
- Tripe Soup
- Haejangguk (Korean for “soup for the stomach”)
- Rosiglitazone (used by diabetics to boost glucose levels)
- Hair of the Dog
In the beginning of the article, however, they begin with this annoying chestnut. “The best—and most painfully obvious—remedy is not to drink yourself into oblivion.” Can it be possible nobody realized that abstinence cannot be a cure since if you never get a hangover there’s nothing to remedy? I know I’m splitting hairs here but I’ve always found the “just say no” mentality a bit overly self-righteous. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I always say. Keep abstaining and you gain no wisdom, no experience, no nothing that you need to grow as a person.
The first four and the last one are old tried and true ones, but five through nine were largely new to me. I wrote a book in the early 1990s that included an appendix of common hangover cures, which I researched pretty thoroughly at the time. When you drink, your body — primarily the liver — begins processing the alcohol. Once it starts working, there’s really nothing you can do to speed things up. All you can do it wait. Alcohol also dehydrates you making you feel dry because when you drink you lose more water than your body replaces until your liver and kidneys finish their work. While the excess alcohol is waiting to be processed, it is stored in your cells, displacing the water that is normally there: this phenomenon is known as “extra-cellular” and it’s what makes you feel dry and crave water. When you drink faster than your liver’s ability to process the alcohol, it gets backed up. That backup is what causes your misery. The medical record I looked at suggested that there is only one thing that will cure a hangover: time. You may be able to ease some of your symptoms, but there’s nothing to any of the supposed cures that will do anything to speed up your recovery. That doesn’t stop anybody from trying, of course, as people — myself included — will do anything in the hopes of eliminating the pain of a hangover.
In my own experience, I’ve found preventative measures are always more effective than anything you can try the morning after. When I put together my appendix, I divided the various methods to keep yourself feeling fit into four categories based on when to administer them.
- Before Drinking
- During Drinking
- Before Going To Bed
- The Morning After
Naturally, there are exponentially more supposed cures for the morning after than for anytime the night before. I think that’s because the preventative measures involve common sense and a few basic ideas, things that most of us forget to do once we start drinking. My personal regime is to take a vitamin B supplement and two Advil (I used to take Tylenol until I read that it can be hard on your liver) before going to bed. I’ve had a pretty good success rate with that, which is why I still use it. I’ve started reprinting my hangover cure appendix so you can take a look at it. I only have up the first three categories, and a few from the morning after, but little by little I’ll get it all up there.
Twenty years ago, a bunch of my pals were in med school in the good old port city of Halifax, NS. One Saturday afternoon, heading down to the frat where they lived to start an afternoon in the pubs, picking up where we had left it off the night before, I found them in one room sitting in easy chairs arranged in a circle starting to drink beer and all hooked up to IVs. Apparently a couple of bags of saline solution is best hangover cure and preventative.
My own cure? Ice cream sandwiches, Perrier water and a good long nap.
I’ve got to say I think you’re being a bit harsh on old man Forbes, Jay. The article, as you quote it, is not saying “don’t drink,” it’s saying “don’t drink yourself into oblivion.” That’s not a “just say no” mentality; it’s just common sense.
Really? Au contraire mon frère, it’s not his suggestion that people use common sense and avoid oblivion, it’s the idea that abstinence or even common sense is a cure. That’s what cheeses me off. I don’t believe Monsieur Forbes is using oblivion as an actual target, it’s just a literary device. He’s just saying don’t drink “too much” and you won’t get a hangover. And that could be as few as two drinks for the teetotaler deciding on a rare celebratory tipple over the holidays. To me, it’s an aside masquerading as advice that is in reality advocacy. The theme of the article was “cures,” and saying don’t drink too much isn’t a cure. No matter how good that advice is, it’s still not a remedy for having had too much. I know it’s splitting hairs, that’s why I said so, but it’s over the line in my humble opinion.
Not mentioned that I noticed, but known to all of us, is to watch what you drink. Not just volume (already discussed and fundamentally obvious), but also the quality of the drink itself. Cheap champagne has a deserved reputation for an instant headache. Other cheap / poor quality stuff may not be as immediate in its negative effects, but you can still draw an easy line to them. If you’re going to drink, drink good quality (realizing that I’m preaching to the long-converted here!).
All right, Jay, I’ll grant that not drinking oneself into oblivion is indeed avoidance and not a cure. Your hairs are well split, mon ami. But my point is I don’t believe the author was intending the line to be a call for abstinence, just moderation. If it were otherwise, I would agree with you entirely, but I just don’t think that’s the case.
In my view, the correct approach to drink echoes what the great M.F.K. Fisher once wrote about the ideal dining companions, they being those who approach the table with “the right mix of abandon and restraint.” Which is to say, drink for the sake of enjoyment, not for the express purpose of drunkenness.
I will concede that you’re probably correct in saying that the author didn’t “intentionally” advocate abstinence. If we asked her, I’m sure that’s what she’d say. But since we all agree that everything should be done in moderation, then that also must include moderation as well. Kidding aside, I believe the moderation/abstinence/responsibility bit has simply been internalized by the media and it isn’t something that’s even consciously considered. Instead, anytime a story is done that involves drinking alcohol they automatically include some cautionary statement to satisfy the anticipated complaints that will undoubtedly come flooding in from the moral minority (the sober minority?) if they don’t. I believe that’s why such statements continually appear in virtually every mainstream article about drinking. It’s like that “drink responsibly” tag at the end of every alcohol advertisement. You can’t mention drinking without reminding people for the gazillionth time to do so responsibly, as if they might somehow forget if you don’t keep hammering it home. Likewise, not reminding people for the gazillionth time would have people screaming that they are somehow encouraging drinking. So it’s just internalized that if you mention alcohol, you must mention responsibility or risk the wrath of the anti-alcohol league.