Did I miss a meeting? The malt beverages that are flavored with something else — fruit, essence of liquor or whatever — have been called by many names. Alcopop is always the one that first leaps to mind, even though that’s supposedly a derogatory term. Why? Apparently adding “pop” makes it for the kiddies, something the watchdogs can’t abide. Because anything that’s meant to be fun for adults but just might also possibly appeal to kids is strictly verboten in their addled minds. Of course, people have been calling beer “barley pop” for decades, if not longer, so I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s like the seasonal beers with Santa Claus on the labels they find so offensive, as if adults aren’t allowed to like St. Nick, too.
Other names they’ve been called include FABs (Flavored Alcoholic Beverage), FMBs (Flavored Malt Beverage), Malternatives and RTD (Ready To Drink), at least in Australia and New Zealand. Sadly, thanks to the anti-alcohol bunch, the industry never uses the fun term Alcopops lest anyone be accused of actually having fun with them. Personally, I’ll keeping calling them Alcopops because I see nothing wrong with that name. I say we take it back. They’re alcoholic and they’re sweet, alco and pop. So what?
In the business world, Alcopops are, or at least were, usually referred to as FMBs, or Flavored Malt Beverages. Though a pretty bland name, it at least fairly describes what they are: malt-based beverages that have been flavored with something.
But in looking through the SymphonyIRI charts for the previous post, I kept noticing a line for PABs. What on earth are PABs, I wondered? How could I possibly have missed an entire new category? It turns out PABs are an abbreviation for yet another new term for Alcopops. A highly unscientific Google search reveals the term’s been around at least since 2007, though mentions of PABs increase dramatically in 2008-2009.
But PAB might be the worst one of all. It stands for “Progressive Adult Beverages.” So yes, they’re beverages and they’re meant for adults, obviously. But what the hell is progressive about them? I suppose it’s no worse than premium or sub-premium, but at least that’s a quality. Even if I laugh at its inaccuracy, premium at least describes where it fits in a hierarchy. Progressive? That’s about as meaningless a name as you could attach to a drink or class of drinks.
And let me stop you before you start. I know this is a silly or stupid or whatever thing to get worked up about. But bear in mind I’m a writer, a language geek, a word nerd and I do believe words have power. What we call things does make a difference. That’s why corporations pay huge sums to come up with new product names, testing them in focus groups, getting the graphics just so, trying to invoke the right response they want from potential customers.
To me, they’ll always be Alcopops.
I am not a writer, but I agree with the idea that words have power and should be used correctly. My big pet peeve with how people talk about alcoholic beverages is when they say wine is “brewed.” Beer is brewed, coffee is brewed, tea is brewed…wine is not. Brewing to me means some form of hot water extraction. Wine is fermented, not brewed.
Back on topic, I like the term alcopop but I think FMB is better for the “official” term because it’s more descriptive.
Trevor. Yeah, I agree that FMB is the best for an “official” designation, Alcopops for fun.
Jay, I think beer-label-approval organizations that disallow Santa Claus or cartoon characters do so because they could be interpreted, by some, as labels that are appealing to kids. IMO the term “alcopop” isn’t used in the wholesale side of the beverage alcohol industry for a similar reason: because a confrontational anti-alcohol person could make a claim that the term “alcopops” just confirms that these are marketed to underage folks.
Just my .02 . . .
Cheers,
-Craig
Craig, I’m sure they are, but so what? It shouldn’t really matter if they appeal to kids and adults because people under the age of 21 are not permitted to buy them no matter what. So why should it matter at all if Santa Claus appeals to kids? I like Santa Claus, as do many adults. Beer manufacturers know this and make their adults-only beer with Santa Claus on the label. Kids can’t buy it whether it appeals to them or not, so why can’t I have my Santa Claus beer? Why do I have to be denied my fun at the holidays just because something that appeals to me also appeals to kids? This is just one of those issues that pushes my buttons. We shouldn’t make the world so that everything that appeals to adults ONLY appeals to adults in the sense that all fun or playfulness must be removed from it just so children can be protected from themselves. It’s our job as parents to protect our children. The same applies to Alcopops. It’s a fun name, that it might be a fun name to kids shouldn’t matter because it’s already illegal for them to purchase it until they’re 21. Why should companies have to be afraid of “a confrontational anti-alcohol person” thinking the name means something that it can’t possibly mean. Underage folks can’t buy the product, it’s illegal to sell it to them, ergo they can’t be marketing it to them. It’s simply that some things that appeal to people in their twenties might also appeal to those under 21 and I contend we shouldn’t be bullied by those who can’t tell the difference and use the “we’re just trying to protect the kids” canard as an excuse to further an agenda. I find it outrageous that every marketing decision for a product ONLY adults can legally purchase should have to take into account how the little kiddies might react.
Appeals to adults butnott to kids: how about titties and beer? Nope too far in the other direction. Guess we all have to toe the social line, be PC and not take a chance of offending anyone. Especially those sensitive types.