Wednesday’s ad is for Ruppert beer — which is “the ‘slow-aged’ beer!” It’s from 1947 and shows a simple cartoon of an apparently long-winded speech that is going on and on, causing one listener to nod off and the other to check his watch. Like Ruppert, they’re in no rush. The claim that “Ruppert beer is aged s-l-o-w-l-y” is a curious one. Ignoring relativity, I’m pretty sure time is a constant, at least on planet beer, and the beer can’t age any slower or faster than the clock runs. You can age it for a shorter amount of time, or a longer amount of time, but that’s a different kettle of isinglass.