File this under news of the weird. According to the UK’s The Sun, the European Patent Office had to reverse their decision denying a company the right to produce a beer called Fucking Hell, when they were able to prove that Fucking is a real town in Austria. Or rather village, since there are only 104 people who live in Fucking, which is just 2-1/2 miles from the German border.
According to Wikipedia,
It is believed that the settlement was founded around the 6th century by Focko, a Bavarian nobleman. The existence of the village was documented for the first time in 1070 and historical records show that some twenty years later the lord was Adalpertus de Fucingin. The spelling of the name has evolved over the years; it is first recorded in historical sources with the spelling as Vucchingen in 1070, Fukching in 1303, Fugkhing in 1532, and in the modern spelling Fucking in the 18th century, which is pronounced with the vowel oo as in book. The ending -ing is an old Germanic suffix indicating the people of the root word to which it is attached; thus Fucking means “(place of) Focko’s people.”
Brewery spokesman Stefan Fellenberg said they plan to brew a Helles style beer. After years of trying on vain to keep people from stealing their town’s sign, and engaging in intercourse either in front of it or in town, the village instead decided to cash in instead. They may have gotten the idea from nearby Wank Mountain residents, who gave them some advice recently. Frankly, I can’t really blame them, though no doubt the U.S. will never give label approval. Guns and violence, yes. Sex, never. Even the Sun piece wouldn’t print either the word Fucking or Wank even though they’re legitimate place names. I’m constantly amazed at how utterly fearful we are about just … words.
Here’s another humorous addition about the signs in the village. “One version of the sign features the village name with an additional sign beneath it, with the words “Bitte — nicht so schnell!”, which translates from German into English as “Please — not so fast!” The lower sign – which features an illustration of two children — is meant to inform drivers to watch their speed, but tourists see this as a double-meaning coupled with the village name.”
Does it say what brewery Stefan is spokesmanning for? ‘Cos there ain’t no Fucking brewery.
Of course not, nor did I ever think there was a brewery in Fucking, or that would certainly have been part of the story. I always figured it was going to be contract brewed and the link you provided simply confirms that. As long as he’s giving the town a piece of the action, I say great, why not. They’ve endured the ugly American (and other English-speaking) insults for long enough, why shouldn’t they profit?
I completely disagree with “I might have a glass of beer’s” assertion that the name is offensive, excuse me, “deeply offensive,” just because there’s no Fucking Brewery. So, what? Is it silly? Sure. Stupid, even? Probably. But offensive? Come on, there are way too many things to get offended over, but this is not one ’em by a long shot. While I’m no stranger to getting worked up over things, this seems way too trivial to matter. This reminds me a little bit of America’s Native Americans who through a loophole in federal law have been making money putting casinos on tribal land. People here are very upset about it have even tried to get them to pay taxes on their earnings (which they’re not legally bound to pay). It’s absurd. After the way the early American government treated them, they should laugh all the way to the bank. Same deal in Fucking.
Not all contract beer is bad, and not all “authentic” (whatever that really means) is good. I thought we’d moved past that black and white shite. Does anyone really believe that people will buy Fucking Hell expecting it to be brewed there and that they’d for one second get upset when they discovered it wasn’t? Of course not. The person who’ll buy this beer will do so because they think it’s funny, they probably won’t care at all what it even tastes like. The person that buys this beer is the same sort who’d by a tuxedo t-shirt, fake dog poop or a whoopee cushion. Or Three Stooges Beer or Wanker Beer.
So what? SO WHAT?! There’s no Fucking brewery, man. That means there’s no Fucking beer. What kind of Fucking lager isn’t even made in a Fucking brewery? Huh? If I was one of the Fucking people I’d be outraged that someone was making money from Fucking beer somewhere other than the Fucking town, and that the Fucking brewery’s profits weren’t even coming back into the Fucking economy. The whole Fucking place should be up in arms!
Dude, I haven’t laughed thAt hard from a post in quite some time! Thanks man.
Where’s your evidence that the “Fucking brewery’s profits [aren’t] even coming back into the Fucking economy.” If the EU had to allow it, there must be some connection between the beer business and the Fucking town. If there was no connection at all, as you suggest, then I suspect the EU would have ruled differently since under those circumstances the businessman would be taking advantage of the town’s name with no remuneration flowing into the town. The town itself would have been fighting it at that point, too, and they seem happy about it, don’t they? To me that says they are getting paid for the use of their name for the beer. You’re going to begrudge them not being able to afford to build a brewery and partnering with someone who does have seed money? Besides, I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that if the beer proves successful, the town will use their royalties to build a brewery in town to increase tourism dollars. I’ll grant you it would be upsetting if this guy was taking advantage of the town and keeping all the money for himself, but I see nothing to suggest that’s true at this point. If it were the case, this would be a very different story. The quotes from the Fucking townspeople would be dramatically different, don’t you think? I also think we all just love typing Fucking way to much, that’s what’s keeping the debate going IMHO.
Look, nobody’s going to be “borrowing” the Fucking beer brand if they weren’t going to cream off at least some of the Fucking profits for themselves. EU business law discriminates against local advantage in favour of free movement of goods and services: as long as the money stays in the EU, it’s happy — the beer could just as easily be made in Malta or Finland as Fucking Austria. There’s no question of a Fucking Protected Geographical Designation here.
He also won’t say where the Fucking beer is going to be made. It’d be awful to think that some of the Fucking profits might wind up in the hands of Wankers.
Building a Fucking brewery wouldn’t be expensive: Austrians are dab-hands at small scale brewing and Austrian firms like Salm export brewpub kits around the world. The expertise is all on hand if the Fucking people wanted their own Fucking brewery. The Fucking Mayor seems happy, but his official channels are going to see more of the Fucking money than the people in the Fucking street.
But you’re right: this Fucking debate could run and run…
I have to say, The Beer Nuts Fucking outrage is hilarious.
Obviously “some” profits will leave the Fucking town, but I continue to believe that as long as a portion of the profits do stay in town, that still puts the town on better financial footing than if the Fucking Beer was never made. They’ll no doubt sell it in town.
I also think you’re underestimating the expense of building a brewery. A village of 90 or 104 people (I’ve seen both population figures quoted) has few resources and they don’t seem to have any anchor industry bringing in a lot of Euros. The municipality of Tarsdorf (which includes Fucking) lists only small ones and none by name, suggesting there’s not a lot of money flowing in and out of the area now. Wouldn’t any additional funds be a welcome development?
But in the end, we (and many others) are simply jumping to conclusions about how this will play out. I’m taking a hopeful, optimistic position (the Fucking glass is half full!) whereas you’re assuming he’s a dirtbag and it out to screw the town (the Fucking glass is half empty!). He may indeed turn out to be a douche, but neither of can predict if this will ultimately be good or bad for Fucking, whether they’ll end up on top or take it from behind. Until then, I think we should cheer on the Fucking residents. If he does turn out to be a weasel, I’ll jump to the other side faster than a Fucking bullet.
I suspect the mayor can’t be too far removed from the people in the Fucking street with only 32 houses in the village. I’m pretty sure my Monopoly game has more houses. There can’t be very many “official channels” at that scale. I think he would have done it himself already if the town could afford it, so they most likely welcomed the Fucking idea with open arms.
I just don’t see the point of having the Fucking beer in the first place if it’s going to be contract brewed. It’s just a Fucking gimmick, and I’d hate it to happen in my town. In fact, between Killian’s Red, Árainn Mhór, Strangford Lough and many other Fucking clones there’s a massive, and irritating, trade in ersatz Irish beer. And plenty of douchebags — personal and corporate — getting rich off the Fucking business model while contributing nothing. When you look closely, all of Ireland is Fucking.
Of course it’s a Fucking gimmick, what else could it be? Even if the town tried earnestly to make a serious Fucking beer, it would end up as a joke to tight-ass Westerners who giggle at any and every double entendre. And this is the mother of all entendre, Fuck being the most versatile and dangerous word in the English language.
And I agree that clones like Killian’s and their ilk are annoying and irksome, too. But this isn’t playing off or cashing in on a rich brewing tradition like Ireland’s. There is no Fucking brewing tradition to speak of, is there? If there was, there would already be a brewery there. This is filling a demand for Westerners who find the idea of a beer with the name “Fucking” in it too funny to resist, you know, people with low IQ’s. They won’t even understand the nuanced argument of contract-brewing or pandering to their titillation. So far, the Fucking town seems thrilled and believes this gimmick could line their coffers, even if some of the doubloons end up elsewhere.
Not to get personal, but you don’t think Guinness Extra Cold, Guinness Red and Guinness Black Lager aren’t gimmicks already happening in your town? And I imagine the whole Murphy’s/Beamish/Heineken debacle has not been a boon to Ireland, either. So I get that. I’m just not convinced this rises to the same level of outrage, at least not yet.
Look, I agree that if this is just a massive ploy on the part of Stefan Fellenberg to bilk cash out of the Fucking residents and run away with all the Fucking cash, then he should be pilloried in the Fucking town square, maybe sodomized by tourists for cash. That would, at least, be keeping in the spirit of the town’s name, and keep it all inside the town’s borders, too. But until that’s revealed, I’m rooting for Fucking Hell. Hell, until yesterday I’d never even heard of the town and now I — and doubtless many others — want to visit the village. That alone has to be good for the town’s future. I even promise not to steal a sign.
It could be a Fucking brewery! And customers will already be laughing at the Fucking beer; that’s the whole point of the Fucking exercise. They’ll be more of a laughing stock — well beyond Fucking — if they don’t even make their own Fucking beer. Tourists will still steal their Fucking signs but won’t have the opportunity to visit a Fucking brewery and maybe spend a bit of money in the Fucking town beforehand; money the Fucking council can spend on more Fucking signs, if that’s what they want.
That you think Killian’s Red has a better heritage than the Fucking matter at hand just shows how well the Fucking douchebag business model works: once the Fucking marketing is in place it won’t matter what the Fucking truth is or was. That’s why I think it’s important for the Fucking people to keep it in their own Fucking town so they can keep a close Fucking eye on the Fucking brand. And, to get back to my original point, it would annoy me if I bought the beer, only to read the label and say “Fucking Hell, this stuff isn’t the genuine Fucking article! It’s a Fucking fake!”
The Diageo and Heineken beers you mention aren’t the same sort of deal because they are actually brewed in Ireland, even if not by Irish companies — dishonest branding, perhaps, but not at the despicable Fucking level we’ve been talking about.
I had actually heard of the Fucking town before — but didn’t know all that about the local government and Fucking demographics which you posted a couple of Fucking comments ago. I can see that you’re really doing your Fucking homework on this, Jay.
I think you’re confusing people like you and me, who might care where a beer comes from, from the Fucking public and especially the people who will be motivated to buy Fucking Hell.
I also don’t see how they could become more of a laughingstock and, now that I think about it, it’s actually perfect if they don’t have a brewery because that way people will get fucked in Fucking. How perfect is that? I think now I’m against their being a brewery there on principle.
Gimmick beers — and I think we can agree it’s a gimmick, right? — appeal to a certain person. And such a person, I believe, won’t give a Fucking fig whether or not it’s brewed in Fucking or not. I might if I thought for a second this was intended to be a serious beer, but it’s clearly not.
And I can only imagine they will be able to buy the beer in at every retail store in town. Even Josef Holzner’s Carpentry Shop will probably stock it. The town will make money on that plus whatever royalty sharing scheme they’ve agreed to.
I certainly didn’t mean to give the impression that Killian’s was anything but an abomination. If I gave such an impression, it was in error and please accept my best non-Irish apology.
And as for doing my homework, I figure I don’t want to get caught with my pants down, especially not in Fucking.
people will get fucked in Fucking
Now there’s no need for that sort of profanity. Honestly…
I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on the whole Fucking thing. We could discuss the ins and outs of Fucking until the Fucking cows come home. Of course, I’ll buy the Fucking lager if I ever see it for sale, but I’ll definitely be announcing to the shop that the beer is not worthy of its Fucking name.
Two words: F*ing hilarious.
“F*ing” isn’t a word. “Fucking” is.
It blows my mind now that people will think the word and imply the word, but just will not say/type it. Who are these people kidding. I grew up in a very conservative, Christian Southern family in Tennessee and I didn’t utter the word fuck until I was 24–along with god damn. But, as I learned more about the world and our history, so much of what we do today as a species is utter nonsense knowing what we COLLECTIVELY know. Just like self-censoring when we all know what someone is talking about. I mean come on, this entire topic is about a village named Fucking. I know people that will use a different word as a substitute for a “bad word”, but really, if you use any word with an implied meaning of another, then what really is the difference–other than using the FORBIDDEN WORD? I can use shoehorn instead of fuck, but just because it’s not the common usage, doesn’t make it carries any less meaning from the user–it just may be more comical than anything.
(I know someone that uses the word sandwich for shit. He probably used the word shit at least 2,000 times since I’ve known him. He’s been a religious person all this time too. He started dating a bit more religious woman and now it’s sandwich. A bit confusing when you really do want a sandwich)
Poop and shit are the same thing. To some, one has stronger meaning than the other, but I know plenty of people where one is just as interchangeable as the other.
I think this has a lot to do with why we still have some ricockulous laws on the books about alcohol…among other things.
Best Thread Ever.
Well, I certainly have to second Dave’s assessment that this is one of the Best Threads Ever, when it, ahem, COMES to Fucking Beer, but I noticed in all the brouhaha over Fucking, the Hell portion of things has been rather sadly neglected.
Well, weep not! As the creator of “Polka Haunt Us: A Spook-tacular Compilation”, the world’s first and only spooky polka recording, I have included a paean to diabolical brew entitled “The Beer Hall In Hell”, which has even been played on the Dr. Demento show!
After having stumbled upon this thread however, I see now that I must do a follow-up anthem to Fucking Hell Beer….Hmmm. Much food, er rather, drink, for thought.
Fangs for the laughs!
Beastly regards,
Veronique Chevalier
Executive Producer/Lyricist/Performer
Creator of “Polka Haunt Us: A Spook-tacular Compilation”