If you’ve ever looked at the science behind hangovers or endured enough of them, you probably already know that time is really the only cure for one. But when you’re feeling that bad, hope tends to spring eternal; and so hangover cures represent a pretty healthy business, bringing in untold millions of dollars. A hungover fool and his money are soon parted.

We all have our own preferred remedy. Mine is entirely preventative. Before going to bed, I take three Advils and a B-vitamin. More often than not, I wake up feeling fine. I also drink a lot of water, both during a drinking session and before retiring. I don’t think of it as a cure — indeed, I don’t believe there can actually be a cure — but for me it tends to head off the symtoms before they manifest themselves as discomfort or downright pain.

But companies keep taking P.T. Barnum’s prophetic words and proving them true, playing on our desire to do just about anything to speed up the recovery from a bad hangover. And in fact, two new ones are in the news today.

Blowfish

Several news outlets, such as the NY Daily News, have the story that Blowfish tablets, recently approved by the FDA, is on the market, available for sale over-the-counter. The effervescent tablets “combine 1,000 milligrams of aspirin, 120 milligrams of caffeine and a stomach-soothing agent” which you dissolve in water the morning after. “Once dissolved in water, the remedy claims to knock out multiple hangover symptoms in just 15 to 30 minutes.” So far, it’s only for sale in New York City or at ForHangovers.com, and sells for $2.99 for a single dose, or $11.99 for a six-pack. Hmm.

The Vitamin Patch

The Daily has a story today regarding a patch that you wear on your arm — like a nicotine patch — that time releases B vitamins. “Bytox Inc., has created a hangover patch that slowly releases a complex of B vitamins over eight hours — from the hour before you start drinking to the morning after. The idea, said Dr. Leonard Grossman, is that nutrients are immediately delivered into the bloodstream and stay there instead of being depleted.”

Maybe, but that still seems like a lot of work when taking one pill before bedtime is so simple. Plus, you’d still need to keep drinking a lot of water, too. I continue to think that moderation is the best method, and when that fails, as it inevitably will on occasion, time is your only friend.