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You are here: Home / Beers / Your Worst Nightmare

Your Worst Nightmare

March 10, 2010 By Jay Brooks

n-a
I probably shouldn’t speak for you, but this is certainly my worst nightmare. I tweeted this yesterday, but thought it still deserving of a snarky comment again today. Somewhere near Manchester, England is the Alcohol-Free Shop, a store dedicated to all things non-alcoholic. They carry non-alcoholic beer, wine, cider, ready-made cocktails and celebration drinks. They actually don’t carry that many different N/A Beers — are there very many? — but have plenty of other products.

But here’s the one think that actually bothers me. The company’s motto, slogan, whatever is “alcohol-free is good for you.” My problem with that is, of course, it’s not remotely true. Study after study has shown that people who drink moderately live longer, and are generally healthier, than people who either drink too much or abstain altogether. Being alcohol-free is therefore, in effect, bad for you. It’s good for you at all.

alco-free

Under the heading Why Choose Alcohol Free?, they suggest “it is also recommended that we all have at least two alcohol-free days a week.” I’ve never heard that one before, have you? And how convenient that the first place I’ve heard it is a place trying to sell non-alcoholic drinks.

Then there’s this gem:

Our range of non-alcoholic, alcohol-free, and de-alcoholised drinks give people the opportunity to still enjoy a glass of wine with a meal or a bottle of beer on a sunny terrace and keep within healthy alcohol-consumption limits.

I’ve only had a few N/A wines but the ones I’ve tried were every bit as bad as the N/A beers. If you want to lay off the alcohol for a night, just have something naturally non-alcoholic, not an impostor that tastes like crap anyway. What’s the point?

Here’s their list of when and who might want non-alcoholic drinks:

  • Healthy lifestyles [except it’s healthier to drink alcohol moderately]
  • Sports and fitness enthusiasts [wasn’t there something last year about beer being better to hydrate with after a work-out than water?]
  • Weight watchers [except the calorie difference doesn’t make up for the flavor differential]
  • Drivers [sure, but just take the night off if you’re the DD]
  • Expectant mums [actually, some moderate alcohol is fine according to most MD’s]
  • Expectant dads [huh?]
  • Nursing mothers [many pediatricians recommend a beer a day to promote lactation]
  • People on medication [if you’re sick, you’re probably not out drinking]
  • People suffering some illnesses [see previous comment]
  • Alcoholics
  • People with mental health problems [if I’m crazy, I’m drinking, but maybe that’s just me]
  • Religious observations

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: Health & Beer, Humor, UK



Comments

  1. Joel says

    March 10, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Hear, hear!

    What malarkey…

  2. Stephen Beaumont says

    March 11, 2010 at 7:07 am

    I don’t know, Jay, I think you might be being a little oversensitive here. Like you, I’ve yet to taste a non-alk brew that I thought worth drinking — I actually refuse to call them beers, since beer by definition contains alcohol — but I wouldn’t want to deny them to people who might actually like the things. Ditto wine.

    The bottom line is that this is a new concept for a business, not another in the long and growing list of UK assaults on alcohol, and their ad copy reflects that interest. It never attacks alcohol, but rather seems to suggest that non-alk beverages are alternatives to alcoholic drinks, which they most certainly are. Even in your quoted “gem,” they mention staying within (admitedly dubious) healthy alcohol consumption limits, rather than replacing all alcoholic drinks with their products.

    Honestly, if I were passing by, I’d stop in for a look. Better still if they were offering free tastings.

    • J says

      March 11, 2010 at 10:01 am

      I hope I didn’t suggest they were assaulting alcohol, just that they were using anti-alcohol propaganda to further their commerce goals of selling more products. And in doing so, they essentially played on the finely crafted perceptions about all the negative attributes of alcohol, and in that sense it seems dishonest to me.

      And if I was riding in the car with you, I’d stop in too.

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