A while ago when I was actively trying to increase my collection of beer quotations, the ones that randomly appear in the upper right-hand corner every time you reload the page, I kept finding ones that were part of larger poems. Having something of an obsession with words — and poetry for that matter — I made a page of beer poetry. When I come across another one I find interesting, I add it. There are now 22 of them. Some are quite old, some are by famous poets, and a few are just plain goofy. Take the one below, for example, a spoof of Joyce Kilmer’s famous Trees poem, credited to a Joyce Killjoy by a homebrew club in Boston, The Boston Wort Processors. They have their own small page of five beer poems, including this Trees spoof.

It’s good on its own, but enter that word obsession of mine, and I couldn’t let well enough alone. I added the four missing lines and made several additional modifications. I think I improved it, but what do you think?

This video was sent to me by the folks at Holy Taco, which appears to be a humor site for the college crowd. It’s a little goofy and some of the humor, sorry Alan — humour, misses the mark, though I certainly did laugh at parts of it. But what made it worthwhile, for me at least, is that they actually let them film inside one of the tanks, empty except for the beechwood chips. Having toured my fair share of Budweiser plants, they really gave these guys “inside access.” Though the segment where the host and the tour guide help “give birth” to the beer seems a little too over the top for my tastes, that or it may be I’m just getting old.

Holy Taco Goes To Budweiser

Several months ago, there was an obscure posting in the Brewers Forum from Charlie Papazian. He was passing on a request he’d received for a brewer to speak about sustainable brewing issue at a conference taking place in San Francisco. Since I’ve written about organic beer and green breweries several times now, it piqued my interest. The conference was EcoCity World Summit, and it took place April 21-26 at various location in the Bay Area. I wrote to them to get press credentials on the off chance that a brewer did participate, and also because I was curious to see what else might come up related to the recent agricultural shortages with barley and hops. It turned out that Greg Koch, from Stone Brewing, had agreed to be on one of the panels, on Saturday April 26. His panel was titled “The Future of Food For Cities.”

After a gala opening at the Herbst Theatre and two days of academic seminars at Berkeley’s Extension Center at Third and Mission, the remaining three days of the conference all took place at the Nob Hill Masonic Center on California Street. A number of the panel discussions focused on the future of various infrastructures, and had titles that all began “The Future of …,” with future glimpses of transportation in cities, energy to power cities, consumption, population, equity, architecture and urban design.

Below this interesting mural were a couple dozen tables with local organizations, media and other related ecological agendas with fliers, magazines and books. There was quite a lot of interesting stuff to see and read.

The first speaker on “The Future of Food For Cities” was particularly interesting. Eric Holt-Giménez, Director of Food First, which is also known as the Institute for Food and Development Policy, gave a lot of information about the myths surrounding the current food shortage. The most important of these is that he doesn’t believe it’s a shortage at all. He pointed out that the many food riots taking place around the world are not even riots, but rebellions. They aren’t being staged by starving populations, but by the poor angry about how quickly food prices have risen, about a growing entitlement gap and lack of democracy. Worldwide, average food prices have gone up a staggering 83% over the last three years, and 45% in just the last nine months. We all know about barley and hops, but wheat is up 130% and rice 66%.

At the same time, the big food companies are reporting record profits: ADM 25%, Monsanto 45%, General Foods 61% and Cargill 86%. But Holt-Giménez claims there is no shortage whatsoever, that reserve stocks are fine. To account for the higher prices he goes to say that across the board the rising prices are and will continue to blamed on the following:

1. Climate change: droughts, floods, etc.
2. Consumption: greater demand
3. Yields: 2005-06 were down, but not 2007
4. Energy: higher oil prices
5. Agrofuels: half of corn being used toward, demand rising

I’m not quite sure what to make of that. As he was ticking them off, I noticed they were pretty much the exact reasons that we’ve been told barley prices are rising and are some of the reasons for hops, too. With hops, having fewer acres planted — especially of aroma hops — is undoubtedly the primary cause and yields are still down as a result. But it’s hard not to wonder if some of the rising costs are due to some chicanery on the part of what Holt-Giménez refers to as the Industrial Agri-foods Complex.

He gave a lengthy explanation of the root causes, but the ones that seemed the most problematic to me were these. The so-called Green Revolution of the 1960-80s concentrated ownership of the world’s land into just a few very large corporations. As a consequence, we’ve lost 75% of food diversity to the point where cotton, maize, wheat, rice and soy account for 91% of all crops grown. That makes for a vulnerable food system where a problem with just one crop could have a ripple effect across the entire economy. Some of the other things he cited included the removal of transit barriers, dismantling marketing boards, free-trade agreements and food subsidies to the tune of $1 billion per day.

What Holt-Giménez sees happening is a collapse of the food and fuel systems into one, except that the biofuel solution is no solution at all. He calls it the “Grand Mythology,” that we “can’t consume our way out of over-consumption.” There a couple of essays at Food First that go into a bit more detail about this, if you’re interested. I’d suggest The New Green Revolution and World Food Prices, The Great Agrofuel Swindle, and Pouring Fuel on the Food.

Greg Koch went last, telling a receptive audience a story familiar to all of us, but which was largely new to a good portion of the crowd. Koch talked about how “the U.S. is now the most exciting place for beer in the world, bar none.” He told the story of beer’s history, from the golden age to its recent renaissance.

He discussed the malt and hops shortages of late and the statistic about the average American living within 10 miles of a brewery. Koch also brought up his own brewery’s efforts to be green, then delving into a broader examination of what many others were doing as well, painting an honest picture of just how green the craft beer community is.

After each panelist spoke, the three of them, took lively questions from the audience. From left, Greg Koch, Carol Whiteside, President of the Great Valley Center in Modesto (and Modesto’s former mayor), and Eric Holt-Giménez, from Food First.

It was certainly an interesting experience and I was glad to see craft beer playing a role in thinking about the future of humanity and we should go about securing it.
 

I stumbled upon what sounds like an interesting read, even without the beer angle. The book is Unmarketable by Anne Elizabeth Moore. In it, she apparently examines underground marketing. The full title, which perhaps gives more clues, is Unmarketable: Brandalism, Copyfighting, Mocketing, and the Erosion of Integrity.

From the publisher’s website:

For years the do-it-yourself (DIY)/punk underground has worked against the logic of mass production and creative uniformity, disseminating radical ideas and directly making and trading goods and services. But what happens when the underground becomes just another market? What happens when the very tools that the artists and activists have used to build word of mouth are co-opted by corporate America? What happens to cultural resistance when it becomes just another marketing platform?

Unmarketable examines the corrosive effects of corporate infiltration of the underground. Activist and author Anne Elizabeth Moore takes a critical look at the savvy advertising agencies, corporate marketing teams, and branding experts who use DIY techniques to reach a youth market—and at members of the underground who have helped forward corporate agendas through their own artistic, and occasionally activist, projects.

Sounds interesting enough, and Mother Jones gives it a decent review. But what initially caught my attention was a reference to Pabst Blue Ribbon in the review at the wonderful Powell’s book store in Portland, Oregon.

From the Powell’s review:

Since the early 1970s, sales of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer had plummeted steadily. Then, in 2002, the beer became the beverage of choice in hipster haunts everywhere. Sales rose 5.4% that year, followed by a 9.4% increase in supermarket sales in the first quarter of 2003. Marketwatchers initially scratched their heads at this sudden and inexplicable uptick. The beer hadn’t been actively advertised in years, but that’s precisely what worked in its favor. With ads from the competition (typical T&A showcases, burping frogs, and the ubiquitous catchphrase “Wassup?”) as foils, PBR was automatically imbued with an anti-corporate aura that couldn’t be bought.

Except that it was.

Interesting. Conventional wisdom has always been that retro hipsters latched onto PBR because of its anti-hipness and that Pabst was as surprised as everybody else by it’s sudden surge in sales. If, in fact, Pabst launched a quiet underground campaign that’s a much different, and some might say, sinister picture. I think I may have to see if my library has a copy of that.

This is only slightly off topic, another one of my little tangents, if you will. This is a transcript of a small part of my favorite stand-up comedian’s rant on marketing and advertising. Naturally, it’s better if you see him pacing the stage and yelling into the microphone, but you can still get the gist of his point about underground marketing. It is available on DVD (under the title Bill Hicks Live) and I certainly encourage everyone who doesn’t know his work to watch it. But be warned, he pulls no punches and isn’t to everyone’s taste. I saw him at least a dozen times before his death in 1994. At every single show at least one person, and usually more, got up and walked out in the middle. And not because he wasn’t funny, but because he challenged people to think in ways that made a lot of them quite uncomfortable.

Advertising and Marketing

From Revelations, as written and performed by Bill Hicks at the Dominion Theatre in London, England in 1991.

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself. No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke… there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend – I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking makinations. Machi… Whatever, you know what I mean.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing, he’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, he’s very smart.” Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! “Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now, he’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.” Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet! “Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill’s very bright to do that.” God, I’m just caught in a fucking web. “Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market – look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…” How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?” “What didya do today honey?” “Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight.” [snores] “Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know,” [snores] “Yeah, you know the mums will love it.” [snores] Sleep like fucking children, don’t ya, this is your world isn’t it?

I came across a website the today, while trying to read the Danish article, that had the ability to be translated into a variety of languages. I thought being able to reach a significantly wider audience seemed like a cool idea, so I did a little digging around and settled on a WordPress plugin, the Taragana Translator Pro. You can see it there in the right-hand sidebar under the heading “Translate the Bulletin.” Simply click on the flag representing one of the thirteen available languages, and voilà, it will reload the page in that language. You can then navigate to any post or page on the Bulletin and it will stay in that language. To return to English, simply click on the Union Jack flag.

The 13 languages you can now read the Bulletin in are:

1. German
2. Spanish
3. French
4. Italian
5. Portuguese
6. Japanese
7. Korean
8. Chinese Simplified
9. Chinese Traditional
10. Arabic
11. Dutch
12. Greek
13. Russian

Of course, I’m barely competent in English, so I have no idea how accurate the translations are. It could be complete gibberish for all I know. Anybody remember Monty Python’s Hungarian Phrasebook sketch? For all I know, every phrase could simply be rendered “my hovercraft is full of eels.” If you’re bilingual and fluent in one of the languages above, please take a look and let me know if the translations are reasonably accurate.

A maddeningly sparse article in Denmark’s Copenhagen Post today reports that a thesis done by a graduate student at the University of Copenhagen seems to suggest that “[o]rganic beer production emits substantially more greenhouse gases than ordinary beer.” The study’s author, Jakob Majcher, compared CO² emissions between conventional brewing and organic brewing and found that organic beer production produced 12% more. As far as I knew, the only difference between organic and non-organic beer was the ingredients used. I don’t know of any real differences in the “process” of brewing organic beer, so I’m somewhat stumped as to what might account for his findings. There’s almost no details about how he he did his study, just his declaration of the results, which is more than a little frustrating.

There is what looks to be a slightly more thorough, or at least longer, article at Information DK. Unfortunately, it’s in Danish and none of the popular web translators offer Danish. The only one I could find, InterTran, provides a translation that is almost unreadable. Hopefully, this will get picked up by English-language news outlets and we can figure out what’s really going on.

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Pyramid Brewing and Magic Hat announced today that they will merge, pursuant to a letter of intent. According to the terms of the agreement, Magic Hat will acquire Pyramid in an all-cash offer and then the two will merge.

From the press release:

The proposed transaction is subject to the negotiation and execution of a definitive merger agreement. The merger agreement will provide for a first-step tender offer for outstanding Pyramid shares by an acquisition entity wholly owned by Magic Hat, to be conditioned upon the acquisition of at least 66 2/3% of the outstanding shares of Pyramid. The tender offer, if consummated, will be followed by a merger of Magic Hat’s acquisition entity with and into Pyramid. The proposed transaction is also subject to the satisfactory completion of a due diligence review by Magic Hat of the business, financial and legal affairs of Pyramid, and receipt of necessary consents and approvals of regulatory agencies and third parties.

The closing of the proposed transaction, subject to the conditions referred to above, is anticipated to occur not later than August 31, 2008. The board of directors of Pyramid has approved the transactions contemplated by the Letter of Intent.

“The combination of these two well established, high profile craft breweries will be very complementary given our respective brand portfolios and the geographies in which we predominantly operate. Additionally, there will be a number of important benefits for Pyramid to be part of a private company versus continuing to operate as a stand alone public entity. This consolidation makes both good strategic and financial sense and is well timed, particularly as the beer industry’s competitive dynamics continue to intensify,” said Pyramid CEO Scott Barnum. “The Company will continue to have offices in Seattle, its historical home, and will seek opportunities to capitalize on the enhanced assets and capabilities of the new combined entity,” he added.

Martin Kelly, CEO of Magic Hat said, “We have a great deal of respect for Pyramid’s brand heritage, award-winning beers and its dedicated employees, and look forward to consummating this transaction, which provides both strategic and financial benefits both to Pyramid’s and Magic Hat’s stakeholders.”

Hmm, not sure what to make of this yet. I’m not generally a fan of small companies becoming bigger through merger, but who knows. There’s certainly no market overlap between the two, so perhaps it will beneficial for both. We’ll have to wait and see.

After initially posting this, an industry insider friend of mine opined offline that he knew that Alan Newman, the owner of Magic Hat, had been looking for a way to get his brands to the left coast. Pyramid has a excellent distribution network which would be very beneficial to Magic Hat in reaching stores shelves out here. Both brands do pretty well in their own markets and so perhaps there is a mutual benefit. As my friend put it, it’s “a real make-sense deal.”

This year, Avery Brewing celebrates its fifteenth anniversary, and as they’ve done for the last five or so years, they’re releasing a special anniversary ale, this one named “Fifteen.” The last few I’ve had have been quite wonderful and this year’s beer promises more of the same. According to the label, it’s a “refreshingly tart, fruity funky farmhouse ale brewed with black mission figs, hibiscus flowers and white pepper” and “fermented with 100% brettanomyces.”

From the press release:

For the past couple of years, we’ve been working with several strains of brettanomyces (wild yeast). We found one and deemed it the best for its tart flavor and funky, fruity aroma. Adding black mission figs for a subtle jammy aspect, hibiscus flowers for an herbal bouquet and hazy sunset hue, and white pepper for a bit of spicy twang, we’ve created FIFTEEN — a unique drinking experience inspired by the wild farmhouse ales of Belgium. Though immensely complex today, more flavors will emerge with time, so throw a few bottles in your cellar for future celebrations.

It will be available beginning May 5 in 22 oz. bottles, but you can get some before that by attending the Fifteen Release Party at the Avery Tasting Room on Wednesday, April 30th from 4-7 pm. Tickets will be $10.

The Oregon Brewers Festival is a mere three months away, but already tickets are on sale for the Oregon Brewers Brunch and Parade, which will take place the morning of the first day of the festival. This year, the brunch will be held at PGE Park, 1844 SW Morrison, on July 24 beginning at 9:00 a.m. The brunch is limited to 300 people. An order form for tickets to the brunch and parade are available online. It will be sponsored by Widmer Bros. Brewing.

From the press release:

Tickets are $20, which includes brunch, Widmer beer, a parade t-shirt and an OBF festival mug (good all weekend long). It’s the deal of the century! The event is limited to 300.

At 11 a.m., brewers and beer lovers will set out for an old-fashioned parade, accompanied by marching band music. The parade will wind its way for approximately one mile through Portland sidewalks to the opening ceremonies and the tapping of the inaugural keg of the 21st annual Oregon Brewers Festival.

Here are some photos from last year’s parade, which began at Rogue.

Portland Mayor Tom Potter with festival organizer Chris Crabb as the parade begins.

The parade wound its way through Portland’s downtown until everyone massed across the street from the festival grounds and crossed the street to enter the festival and tap the ceremonial keg, signaling the opening of the festival.

Perhaps I’ll see you there this year.