Here are some of my favorite toasts, divided into a few broad categories:
HUMOR
The bubble winked at me and said,
“You’ll miss me brother, when you’re dead.”
— Oliver Herford
Call frequently.
Drink moderately,
Park friendly,
Pay today, trust tomorrow.
— Anonymous
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
— James Thurber
Here’s to our guest—
Don’t let him rest.
But keep his elbow bending.
‘Tis time to drink—
Full time to think
Tomorrow—when you’re mending.
— Anonymous
A glass in the hand’s worth two on the shelf—
Tipple it down and refresh yourself!
— Anonymous
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
— Groucho Marx
The man that isn’t jolly after drinking
Is just a driveling idiot, to my thinking.
— Euripides
So live that when you come to die, even the undertaker will feel sorry for you.
— Mark Twain
‘Tis hard to tell which is best,
Music, Food, Drink, or Rest.
— Anonymous
To our host,
An excellent man;
For is not a man
Fairly judged by the
Company he keeps?
— Anonymous
To the holidays—all 365 of them.
— Anonymous
Turn out more ale, turn up the light;
I will not go to bed tonight.
Of all the foes that man should dread
The first I have had both old and young,
And ale we drank and songs we sung;
Enough you know when this is said,
That, one and all—they died in bed!
— Charles Henry Webb, Dum Vivimus Vigilamus
IRREVERENT
Alcohol—a liquid good for preserving almost anything except secrets.
— Gideon Wordz
Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring.
— Thomas D’Urfey
A drink, my lass, in a deep clear glass,
Just properly tempered by ice,
And here’s to the lips mine have kissed,
And if they were thine, here’s twice.
— Anonymous
Drink to me with only thine eyes,
And to you I’ll pledge for many years;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I’ll not look for beers.
— Ben Jonson, a variation on To Celia
Drink to the girls and drink to their mothers,
Drink to the fathers and to their brothers;
Toast their dear healths as long as you’re able,
And dream of their charms while under the table.
— Anonymous
Here’s a health to the future;
A sigh for the past;
We can love and remember,
And hope to the last,
And for all the base lies
That the almanacs hold
While there’s love in the heart,
We can never grow old.
— Anonymous
Here’s hoping that you live forever
And mine is the last voice you hear.
— Willard Scott, from A Gentleman’s Guide to Toasting
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and a true one,
A cold bottle and another one.
— Anonymous
Here’s to love.
It doesn’t make the world go ’round,
It’s what makes the ride worthwhile.
— Franklin P. Jones
Here’s to the bottle which holds a store
Of imprisoned joy and laughter!
Here’s to this bottle,
Many more bottles,
And others to follow after.
— Anonymous
Here’s to the four hinges of Friendship—
Swearing, Lying, Stealing, and Drinking.
When you swear, swear by your country;
When you lie, lie for a pretty woman;
When you steal, steal away from bad company;
And when you drink, drink with me.
— Anonymous
Here’s to the heart that fills as the bottle empties.
— Anonymous
Here’s to the man who drinks strong ale,
and goes to bed quite mellow.
Lives as he ought to live,
and dies a jolly good fellow.
— Parody on toast from The Blood Brother
Here’s to the temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with—
And me not there at all.
— Anonymous
Here’s to those who love us,
And here’s to those who don’t,
A smile for those who are willing to,
And a tear for those who won’t.
— Anonymous
Here’s to us that are here, to you that are there, and the rest of us everywhere.
— Rudyard Kipling
Holly and ivy hanging up
And something wet in every cup.
— Irish toast
If all be true as we do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good beer, a Friend, or being Dry
Or lest one should be, by and by …
Or any other reason why!
— Henry Aldrich, Dean of Christ Church (@ 1620)
I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
A pocket full of money
And a cellar full of beer!
— Irish toast
Let no man thirst for lack of Real Ale.
— Toast on a matchbook from Commonwealth Brewing, Massachusetts
Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and it gives you the laugh anyway.Let us make our glasses kiss;
Let us quench the sorrow-cinders.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson, in The Persian of Hafiz (1851)
Laugh at all things,
Great and small things,
Sick and well, at sea or shore;
While we are quaffing,
Let’s have laughing,
Who the devil cares for more?
— Lord Byron
Let’s drink the liquid of amber so bright;
Let’s drink the liquid with foam snowy white;
Let’s drink the liquid that brings all good cheer;
Oh, where is the drink like old-fashioned beer?
— 19th Century Toast
A little health, a little wealth,
A little house and freedom:
With some few friends for certain ends
But little cause to need ’em.
— Anonymous
May our house always be too small to hold all our friends.
— Myrtle Reed
May we be happy and our enemies know it.
— Anonymous
May we breakfast with Health, dine with Friendship, crack a bottle with Mirth, and sup with the goddess Contentment.
— Anonymous
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you’re going too far.
— Irish toast
May you live all the days of your life.
— Jonathan Swift
None so deaf as those who will not hear.
None so blind as those who will not see.
But I’ll wager none so deaf nor so blind that he
Sees not nor hears me say come drink this beer.
— W.L. Hassoldt
Now I, friend, drink to you, friend,
As my friend drank to me,
And I, friend, charge to you, friend,
As my friend charge me,
That you, friend, drink to your friend,
As my friend drank to me;
And the more we drink together, friend,
The merrier we will be!
— Anonymous
To friends: as long as we are able
To lift our glasses from the table.
— Anonymous
To friendship: May differences of opinion cement it.
— Anonymous
Too much work, and no vacation,
Deserves at least a small libation.
So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses;
Work’s the curse of the drinking classes.
— Oscar Wilde (he said that last line, but I can’t be sure about the whole toast)
To the old, long life and treasure;
To the young, all health and pleasure;
To the fair, their face,
With eternal grace;
And the rest, to be loved at leisure.
— Ben Jonson
To the thirst that is yet to come.
— Irish toast
SERIOUS
Brew me a cup for a winter’s night,
For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I’ll toast your bright eyes, my sweetheart fair.
— Minna Thomas Antrim
A day for toil, an hour for sport,
But for a friend life it too short.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ah, make we the most of what we may yet spend,
Before we too into Dust descend;
Dust into Dust, and Dust to lie,
Sans beer, sans song, sans singer, and sans end.
— Omar Khayyam
And fill them high with generous juice,
As generous as your mind,
And pledge me in this generous toast—
The whole of human kind!
— Robert Burns
Be glad of life!
Because it gives you the chance to work and love,
To play and to look up at the stars.
— Henry Van Dyke
Frame your mind to mirth and merriment,
Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.
— William Shakespeare, from The Taming of the Shrew, Act II
Here’s to cold nights, warm friends, and a good drink to give them.
— Anonymous
Here’s to eternity—may we spend it in as good company as this night finds us.
— Anonymous
I drink to the days that are.
— William Morris
It is best to rise from life as from the banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
— Aristotle
Love to one, friendship to many, and good will to all.
— Anonymous
May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age.
— Anonymous
May we live to learn well,
And learn to live well.
— Anonymous (I’m partial to this one because a variation of it was carved into the building of my junior high school.)
Mingle with the friendly bowl,
The feast of reason and the flow of the soul.
— Alexander Pope
Now, thrice welcome, Christmas
Which brings us good cheer,
Mince pies and plum pudding,
Strong ale and strong beer!
— Anonymous
While we live, let us live.
— Anonymous
SPECIFIC FAMOUS TOASTS
Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen;
Here’s to the widow of fifty;
Here’s to the flaunting extravagant queen;
And here’s to the housewife that’s thirty.
Let the toast pass—
Drink to the lass—
I’ll warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.Here’s to the charmer whose dimples we prize;
Now to the maid who has none, sir;
Here’s to the girl with a pair of blue eyes,
And here’s to the nymph with but one, sir.
Let the toast pass—
Drink to the lass—
I’ll warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.Here’s to the maid with a bosom of snow;
Now to that’s as brown as a berry;
Here’s to the wife with a face full of woe,
And now for the damsel that’s merry.
Let the toast pass—
Drink to the lass—
I’ll warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.For let ’em be clumsy, or let ’em be slim,
Young or ancient, I care not a feather;
So fill a pint bumber quite up to the brim,
And let us e’en toast ’em together.
Let the toast pass—
Drink to the lass—
I’ll warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan, in The School for Scandal
Observe, when Mother Earth is dry,
She drinks the droppings of the sky,
And then the dewey cordial gives
To every thirsty plant that lives.The vapors which at evening sweep
Are beverage to the swelling deep,
And when the rosy sun appears,
He drinks the misty ocean’s tears.The moon, too, quaffs her paly stream
Of lustre from the solar beam;
Then hence with all your sober thinking!
Since Nature’s holy law is drinking,
Mine’s the law of Nature here,
And pledge the Universe in beer.
— Tom Moore, The Universal Toast (though I changed the last couplet)