Brookston Beer Bulletin

Jay R. Brooks on Beer

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Real Hop-sicles

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A friend and colleague sent me this story from his local area around Washington, D.C. (thanks Gregg). Rustico Restaurant & Bar, a great beer restaurant in Alexandria, Virginia, began serving “beer-sicles” last week. They make frozen beer pops shaped like the Popsicles you remember for $4 or a larger cone size for $6. They’re made from 99% beer using all-natural ingredients, executive chef Frank Morales claims, and he created the new pops with the help of the restaurant’s Beer Director, Greg Engert. Don’t you just love the idea that a restaurant has a beer director?

Executive Chef Frank Morales with his new beer-sicles.
photo © Associated Press

 So far, four flavors have been offered. Fudgesicle (made with Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout), Raspbeer-y (made with the very sweet St. Louis Framboise), Plum (made with Chapeau Mirabelle) and Banana (made with Chapeau Banana). Since their debut last week, they’re a big hit with customers, and men especially, Morales noted. Apparently they worked on the right combination of ingredients for weeks before being satisfied, so I guess that 1% ingredient is quite an important one. So what otherwise seems like a simple idea — freeze beer in a Popsicle mold — may actually hinge on a particular secret ingredient. Of course, I’m open to experimentation.

Unfortunately, according to the AP story, the Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control believes that “the beer-sicles might violate state regulations” which state that “the law requires beer to be served in its original container, or served immediately to a customer once it is poured from its original container.” Apparently the Virginia ABC is investigating, but their initial reaction appears to be that it violates state alcohol law.

This is apparently because the purpose of that law is so the ABC can keep tabs on where the alcohol goes along it’s journey from manufaturer to consumer. According to Philip Disharoon, the special agent in charge of the Alexandria division, he’s worried that he “would have no way of knowing where the beer product came from.” The idea that they may have to stop making these just because the Virginia ABC can’t track the path of the beer from bottle to mold to freezer to customer, all in a single location, strikes me as bureaucratic nonsense. I imagine that may have been more of a concern during bootlegging days, but I have a hard time believing it’s much of an issue any longer.

Virginia’s alcohol laws do include an exemption for beer used for “culinary purposes” (3VAC5-70-40), which would appear to make it legal for Rustico to continue selling beersicles. Since it appears that they’re already using beer in many of the dishes served at the restaurant, perhaps they’re already covered. The regulation does give the ABC broad authority to “refuse to issue or [t] suspend or revoke such a permit for any reason” which seems rather unfair, to say the least. But that’s the nature of many alcohol laws, in which fairness is rarely a priority. Also, alcohol used for cooking must be kept completely separate from beer that’s for sale to patrons, which also seems quite ridiculous.

But the more you examine each state’s own arcane alcohol regulations, you realize that over time they’ve become bloated bureaucratic gibberish that few people can understand, even among the state employees charged with interpreting them. I know firsthand that in some states ABC employees will give different interpretations to the same regulation, leaving brewery and restaurant/bar owners completely baffled as to what the law actually says or how to comply with it. And even relying on one state employee’s interpretation can land you in hot water if another’s interpretation is different. That certainly seems fair, doesn’t it? At the very least, you’d think they could either get their stories straight or at least respect their colleagues interpretation that someone relied on in good faith. But sadly that’s not the way government works, especially when it comes to the hot button issue of alcohol.

But the idea of beer-flavored Popsicles seems a natural. Perhaps the folks that own the trademark on the name Popsicle, which is Unilever (although in 1993 they changed their name to the more appetizing Good Humor-Breyers® Ice Cream Company) could make beer-flavored Popsicles for adults that we can all buy at the grocery store. Can you just imagine the hue and cry from neo-prohibitionists when beer pops show up in the frozen food section? It would almost be worth it just to see them come unglued. Plus, I just love the idea of a green, 100 ibu, real honest-to-goodness Hopsickle.

UPDATE 7.22: Two new news sources also include video of the beersicles so you can see what they look like and see a bit more about how they’re made. The first is from WLBZ in Bangor, Maine and the second is from CBS 3 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

UPDATE 7.22 – #2: Courtesy of Reason magazine, Senior Editor Radley Balko went to Rustico this afternoon hoping to try a beer-flavored Popsicle but was told “they’re no longer serving them. At least until the state alcohol control tyrants give them the okay.” Apparently they’re trying to figure out how to cook the beer and/or add more ingredients so it will fall under “culinary purposes” as I detailed above. Sounds to me like the Virginia ABC has lost touch with reality. If freezing beer in a mold, with a stick, and serving it as a dessert doesn’t qualify as a culinary use, then I have to conclude it’s not about the law anymore, but about control. That’s the word everybody forgets in “ABC,” but it stands for “Alcoholic Beverage Control.” State agencies take that part of their job perhaps most seriously of all in their zeal to do their job. These agencies really should work with alcohol manufacturers and retailers because for the most part all they want to do is comply with the law. But many times, because of the nature of bureaucracy, an adversarial relationship is created over time and the agencies spend more of their resources on enforcement and punishment, forgetting that they’re charged with keeping alcohol in society in a safe manner, not controlling it to the point of killing it.

 

Do You Want Some Pizza With Your Pizza Beer?

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I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. Pizza and beer, of course, are one of the most beautiful pairings and one of the most natural, rivaling such other hit duos as peanut butter and jelly or warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream. But it may have been taken too far, as homebrewer Tom Seefurth has combined the two into one beer, which he calls Mamma Mia Pizza Beer and claims is the “world’s first culinary beer.”

Since Walter Payton’s Aurora Roundhouse has been brewing and selling Tom’s Pizza Beer, the local and national media has been covering the novelty beer in print, television and radio. Sunday’s Daily Herald, a local paper covering Kane County, Illinois where the Seefurths live, has probably the most comprehensive account.

It sounds like an herb and spice beer leaning heavily on Italian seasonings. Adjunct ingredients include tomatoes, oregano, garlic and basil. The Herald article describes it as “tast[ing] of oregano, onions and tomatoes” and they offer that it should be paired with pizza or pasta, though that seems a bit too obvious. I’d be more interested in trying it with some strong Italian cheeses. There have been plenty of herb and spice beers I’ve tasted over the years, using both common and more unusual ingredients. To my way of thinking, they’re a mixed bag. Sometimes they work and sometimes not and it’s not always clear why that is. Some I’ve enjoyed and others not so much. So while my first reaction is somewhat apprehensive, I’ll reserve judgment until I can actually try some, if that’s even possible. I love beer. I love pizza. If it’s all about the beer then who knows, maybe it will be great.


Tom Seefurth in his home brewery.
 

Beer Can Pouring Robots

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What do you get for the beer lover who has everything? How about the new Asahi Robocco BeerBot, a beer pouring robot. It used to be available only in Japan, but now you can buy one anywhere in the world. For a mere $799 (plus $99 shipping) you can have one of your very own. They’re “gently used,” having been part of a Japanese contest that Asahi conducted. The robot features include the ability to store and refrigerate six cans, ensuring the perfect temperature with an internal sensor, a programmable voice (male, female, or custom), a cleaning mode, and most important for American sensibilities, a child lock.

To watch it action and see how it works, watch the video below. What was most amazing to me was that it pour in three stages. First, with the glass tilted it pours less then half into the mug, then stops to let the head settle. Second, it tilts the glass slightly more upright before pouring a bit more. Then lastly, it repositions the mug upright and pours the remainder of the can. It’s a beautiful pour. I wonder if it’s programmed to do it that way every time or if adjusts as it goes depending on the volatility of the beer?

License Plates as Free Speech

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When you read this is happening in Utah, perhaps you’ll be less surprised about it, but it’s my feeling that these sorts of attempts at censorship should be fought wherever they happen. Because however innocuous they appear, they always seem to lead to more serious attempts at curbing peoples’ rights of self-expression. Nip ’em in the bud, I say. It seems the State of Utah will not allow a man to keep his vanity license plate that reads “MERLOT” because, according to a UPI story, it violates the state’s ban on vanity plates linked with intoxicants. A similar AP story on CBS News makes a similar claim.

But if you visit the Utah DMV website, this is all that they say on the subject:

Guidelines and Standards

What are the rules or guidelines regarding the combination and numbers of characters on a plate, or the content of the message on the plate?

In general, the statute forbids any combination of letters or numbers that “may carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency or that would be misleading.” In general, this law prohibits combinations that:

  • Are vulgar, derogatory, profane or obscene;
  • Make reference to drugs or drug paraphernalia;
  • Make reference to sexual acts, genitalia or bodily functions, or
  • Express contempt, ridicule or superiority of a race, religion, deity, ethnic heritage,
    gender or political affiliation.
  • Express or suggest endangerment to the public welfare.

Now, raise your hand. Who thinks the word merlot is “vulgar, derogatory, profane or obscene?” And it clearly doesn’t fit the third and fourth guidelines, either. So okay, let’s look at the second, that it makes “reference to drugs or drug paraphernalia.” Now I realize that alcohol is technically a drug, but I think it has one unique feature that makes it very different from what I assume the intent of that language was, which is that it’s legal.

Now I know there are some fine beers brewed in Utah, but by and large a healthy percentage of the state’s citizens have chosen to voluntarily abstain for religious reasons. That’s a lifestyle decision. I don’t happen to agree with it personally, but I respect it as a personal decision … except when you try to force that opinion on the rest of us. In this particular instance, the “MERLOT” plate has been on a 1996 merlot-red Mercedes for ten years. The owner was told he must remove it simply because one pinhead “anonymous caller told the state that merlot was also an alcoholic beverage.” It’s hard not to find it a little funny that they had to be told that. But it’s not at all funny that there is at least one person out there who had such a problem with a single word he saw on the back of a car. And not only that, but he felt compelled to do something about it. I can’t even imagine the thought process that led him to rat out a fellow human being for the word merlot. How on earth was this person damaged by the sight of it? How could seeing this one word be offensive? I just don’t get it. Did seeing the word tempt him so much that he was in danger of abandoning his commitment to abstinence? If so, it doesn’t seem too strong a commitment. Was he afraid of his children seeing it? If so, he’s not a very good parent if all it might take to corrupt his kids might be seeing the word “merlot.” Did his religious beliefs blind him to the fact that there are other equally legitimate ways in order to live one’s life? Maybe it’s the progressive in me, but I can’t for the life of me come up with a scenario in which this is in any way reasonable.

Believe it or not, there’s a website where a Salt Lake City man has collected vanity plates he’s seen driving around the Beehive state. Apparently the Utah DMV is also unaware that “CHIVAS” and “WHISKEY” are alcoholic, though they have thoughtfully put up a web page of links to other vanity plate websites.

Perhaps the real joke is that the man who owns the car chose the word “merlot” because that was the color of his automobile, not even because it’s also a varietal wine grape. Apparently, he’s go to fight the state on this one, and I, for one, am glad.

33 Things

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The magazine Men’s Health has an interesting list of 32 Things You Can Do With Beer.

Here’s the list, but you’ll need to read the article to get their explanation for each.

  1. Bathe in it
  2. Put out a fire
  3. Marinate Meat
  4. Polish pots
  5. Make a beer barbecue sauce
  6. shampoo hair
  7. Loosen rusty bolts
  8. Clear up brown spots on your lawn
  9. Steam clams or mussels
  10. Pass a kidney stone
  11. Boil shrimp
  12. Kill Slugs
  13. Find due north
  14. Sooth tired feet
  15. Make a beer slide
  16. Lower your blood pressure
  17. Trick a cheap landlord
  18. Bake beer bread
  19. Catch mice
  20. Tie a fly
  21. Cure insomnia
  22. Massage yourself
  23. Calm an upset stomach
  24. Build your next home
  25. Cook rice
  26. Stop snoring
  27. Build a plane
  28. Roast chicken
  29. Ice a hamstring
  30. Build delightful patio furniture
  31. Tame a wild hair
  32. Scale fish

Notice the list has only 32 on it, the 33rd thing, of course, is using it as intended. There are some interesting non-intuitive ideas here, such as “loosening rusty bolts” or “clearing up brown spots on your lawn.” I’m going to give that one a try this morning. But several of them seem the same, in a way, like the seven cooking with beer suggestions. Isn’t that just one suggestions in seven different guises? And stopping snoring by tying a beer bottle to your back so you won’t sleep on it seems just plain silly, especially since it’s not really the beer but the package you’re using. You could use almost anything for that. That’s true of a few others, too, where it’s the bottle cap that you’re using rather than the beer itself. And frankly, I’m not sure beer suffers from not being versatile enough that we necessarily need to find more uses for it. Even if it’s only purpose was to drink it, wouldn’t that be enough for most of us?

It’s Raining Men … and Beer

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UPI has a funny story that happened Saturday night — where else but in Canada — in which a woman was saved from serious injury by beer. At an NHL match between the Calgary Flames and the Vancouver Canucks, Glennis Bradshaw felt beer splatter on her head, which understandably caused her to bolt upright in her seat and look up. As she did, a man fell from the balcony above, landing on her lap instead of her head as would have happened only a split second before. Apparently two men in the upper level both slipped while carrying beer back to their seats and fell over the railing. One landed on Bradshaw, breaking an ankle and knocking himself unconscious, while the other landed two rows ahead without injury. Glennis Bradshaw’s thigh was bruised but was otherwise okay, noting “it’s not often young men fall in my lap. Thing is, normally I’d like them conscious.”

Bud & Bud: Now They’re Buds?

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+ = ?

I saw this last Monday but was too busy with deadlines for paying gigs to do anything more than drop my jaw in amazement at the news. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. The vigor with which these two companies have battled one another is legendary. For them to unceremoniously bury the hatchet — and not into each other’s back — even in just the U.S. market defies logic. I can see why Anheuser-Busch would want the deal. To have a Bud with flavor and another import that’s been selling well, with even greater potential, is a no brainer for them.

But why Budějovický Budvar would be so eager is an entirely different matter. I have a hard time fathoming that it was simply the profit motive and the tantalizing carrot of making a killing here in the U.S. that drove their decision. Not to mention all of the people this move — along with the earlier InBev agreement — have put on the unemployment line. The very people who built all of these brands into ones that A-B would be interested in poaching are now left out in the cold, all of their hard work for naught. Many of the ones I know personally are great people, too, so it seems remarkably unfair.

I guess I just don’t want to believe that the principles Budvar has been arguing for so vehemently could be set aside so easily just for a wad of cash. There are currently something like 100 lawsuits going on in 30 countries around the globe over the brand names Bud, Budvar and Budweiser. A-B just lost an appeal in Portugal, so the disputes between the two companies are far from over. And generally speaking A-B has been the aggressor in a majority of the cases, at least as far as I’ve seen.

Here in the U.S., and other countries where A-B has prevailed in court decisions, Budvar, Budweis and Budweiser are labeled Czechvar, conveying none of the heritage of a beer brewed in the town of České Budějovice, which in German is Budweis. A-B has publicly acknowledged countless times that it was their inspiration for the beer they named Budweiser in 1876. Disputes began a century ago and have not subsided up through the present time. Even A-B’s press release acknowledges as much.

After nearly a century of disagreements in certain parts of the world over rights to the Budweiser name for their beers, Anheuser-Busch and Czech brewer Budejovicky Budvar have formed a historic alliance in which Anheuser-Busch will become the U.S. importer of Czechvar Premium Czech Lager, the two brewers jointly announced today.

The agreement gives Czechvar, currently sold in 30 states, access to Anheuser-Busch’s marketing and sales expertise and wide-reaching U.S. distribution network. It gives Anheuser-Busch another European import as part of an aggressive push into high-end beer categories that has led to alliances with Grolsch, Tiger, Kirin and most recently InBev, which added Stella Artois, Beck’s, Bass Pale Ale and other beers to its import portfolio.

The agreement does not impact existing litigation or trademark disputes between the two brewers in other countries, and they have agreed the partnership cannot be used to support either side in any trademark cases.

“After years of differences, this is a meaningful step for two great brewers to form a relationship that is good for both of our businesses,” said August A. Busch IV, president and chief executive officer of Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc. “For Anheuser-Busch, it also represents an opportunity to enhance our import portfolio with a super-premium Czech import. Working with our family of wholesalers, we look forward to introducing Czechvar to a new audience of beer lovers.”

“At the same time, the agreement represents a historical turning point between our companies. We have managed to move away from discussions between lawyers and toward a practical dialog, which is going to be beneficial to both sides. Our corporation has therefore gained the best importer in the USA,” added Budejovicky Budvar’s CEO, Jiří Boček.

The agreement was effective Jan. 5. Terms were not disclosed.

Hmm. When a brewery with so much reason to feel a deep-seated animosity toward the world’s largest beer company can make nice for a fistful of ducats, what does that mean for the rest of the world’s breweries trying to sell their products here. Between the InBev brands (like Stella Artois), Grolsch, Tiger, Kirin, and now what many people refer to as “the real Budweiser,” Czechvar, this will make it increasingly difficult for other imported beers — and especially the smaller brands — to find a willing distributor to carry their products. Certainly no Bud distributor who wants to stay in Augie’s good graces would carry a non-A-B import. And that clutters the remaining distributors, especially where there’s only one other house that carries both Coors and Miller. Few distributors can carry everything presented them and that means less diversity in their territories, more so in states where it’s difficult or impossible for companies to self-distribute.

As usual, the losers will be you and me when we try to find that obscure import like Westmalle Tripel or Urthel Hop-It. Every time the highly efficient behemoth A-B distribution network adds another “official” beer to its portfolio, the available beers across the country become increasingly the same. If it keeps up like this, the only remaining diversity you’ll see at the local grocery store will be completely illusory. They’ll all be owned or have exclusive distribution agreements with a very small number of companies. And that will make it nearly impossible for a newcomer, whether an imported brewery or a local craft brewer, to find a spot on the shelf.

Holy Beer Blunder: Call the Commissioner

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A friend in Portland sent me John Foyston’s piece in today’s Oregonian concerning what’s written in a visitor’s guide to Seattle. If you click on the link, dont panic, it’s the last item near the bottom entitled “Wrong on So Many Levels.” It’s a good thing I didn’t have any liquids in my mouth when I read it, because I would have spit them out across the room the way they do in cheesy sitcoms and movies. My first reaction after reading it was envisioning the spinning graphics when they cut to a new scene in the old ’60s Batman series and a costumed Adam West yelling “get me the Commissioner on the ‘Beer Phone'” to no one in particular, complete with cheeseball music that so perfectly complemented the action making it seem like things were moving fast. Perhaps a giant spotlight shining the image of a pint of beer into the night sky. I admit I should lay off the caffeine, but I have toddlers. I need caffeine.

But this is the sort of thing that cries out for some fast action. And the newly appointed Washington Beer Commisioners are just the folks to mete out some justice and get this thing changed. Okay, enough suspense. Here it is in a nutshell. The Summer/Fall 2006 edition of the Seattle Quick Guide, published by Guest Informant, says the following about Seattle’s beer scene, arguably one of the top two or three cities for beer in the country. Just be sure not to take a drink just before reading it. You have been warned.

“Beer Buzz: Beer may be the beverage of choice for sports addicts, couch potatoes and those with substantial midsections, but consumed in moderation it shares some of the healthful effects of red wine. A 12-ounce glass of beer has about half the alcohol of a glass of wine, which means you can drink more of it. Beer isn’t the ideal before-dinner drink due to the full feeling you get after quaffing a few cold ones, but that bloated sensation is a result of carbonation more than calories.”

“The microbrew craze peaked in the mid-’90s, when it seemed as if everyone and his mother was brewing up a batch of homemade lager in the basement and yuppifying it with exotic flavors in designer bottles. But classic imported beers have many characteristics of microbrews, so why mess with tradition?”

How could so few words manage to be so wrong? Is it possible it was written around 1996 when things were looking bleak for craft beer and they simply never updated it for ten years? But don’t they put out new editions of these hotel guides every year precisely to keep up with the changes in the cities in which they publish their guides? Even so, “designer bottles,” “exotic flavors,” “homemade lager in the basement?” What exactly are the folks at Guest Informant smoking?

It’s baffling. And it’s a grave injustice to the thousands of visitors Seattle gets every year who might believe what they read and assume craft beer is dead, ordering a Heineken instead. Not to mention all the great local beers and breweries that will be ignored. Wouldn’t they want to promote local “traditions” rather than imported ones? Again, whoever wrote this obviously didn’t do a great amount of — or let’s face it, any — research.

As my Oregonian friend (thanks Jim) so aptly wrote, “it is both sad and funny.”

Creative Solutions

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In an effort to discourage driving after a bit too much holiday celebrating, the Police Department of Burlington, Vermont came up with a creative solution. They printed up logo pint glasses with one of four designs — “a police patch, a special response team patch, a K-9 logo or a Bennington Police Department 150th anniversary badge logo” — and then distributed them to area bars and restaurants. The idea, according to an AP Wire story, was that if patrons see one of the police logos on the beer they’re drinking then they might think twice about trying to drive drunk. Of course, I can’t resist asking why they didn’t also put logos on cocktail and wine glasses, too, especially since spirits and wine contain higher concentrations of alcohol and thus would represent a greater danger, at least from the police department’s point of view. But it’s still a pretty clever idea and far better than random checkpoints or other draconican measures. If more police departments took up this idea think of the extra money they could make to support education programs — because you just know they’d be people who would collect the pint glasses.

Picture me on a pint glass.