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You are here: Home / Beers / Craft Beer & Ale: A Parody of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham

Craft Beer & Ale: A Parody of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham

March 2, 2019 By Jay Brooks 28 Comments

Seuss-logo
Today, of course, is the birthday of Theodore Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss. Almost ten years ago my kids were on a Dr. Seuss kick and we read quite a few of his books multiple times, with Green Eggs & Ham emerging as the family favorite. I was playing around with the words one night, as I often do, and decided to see if I could come up with a beer-themed parody of the book. I originally posted the results eight years ago, and here they are once again; Craft Beer & Ale, by Dr. J. Enjoy!

CRAFT BEER & ALE

Sam I am

I am Sam

Sam I am

That Sam’s upscale.
That Sam regales.
I do not like that Sam wholesale!

Do you drink
craft beer & ale?
Seuss-2

I do not drink them, Sam, they’re stale.
I do not drink
craft beer & ale.

Would you drink them
weak or strong?

I would not drink them
weak or strong.
I would not drink them, it is wrong.

I do not drink
craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them, Sam, curtail.

Would you drink them with more hops?
Would you drink them chased with schnapps?

I do not drink them
with more hops.
I do not drink them
chased with schnapps.
I do not drink them
weak or strong.
I do not drink them
all night long.
I do not drink
craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them,
Sam, you’re off the trail.

Would you drink them
in a pub?
Would you drink them
at a club?

Not in a pub.
Not at a club.
Not with more hops.
Not chased with schnapps.
I would not drink them
weak or strong.
I would not drink them, it is wrong.
I would not drink craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them, Sam — no sale.

Would you? Could you? In a bar?
Drink them! Drink them! Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a bar.

You may like them. You will see.
You may like them with some cheese!
cheese

I would not, could not with some cheese.
Not in a bar! You let me be.

I do not like them in a pub.
I do not like them at a club.
I do not like them with more hops.
I do not like them chased with schnapps.
I do not like them weak or strong.
I do not like them all night long.
I do not like craft beer & ale.
I do not like them, Sam, you’re beyond the pale.

A stein! A stein!
A stein! A stein!
Could you, would you,
in a stein?

Not in a stein! Not in a stein!
Not with some cheese! Sam! Let me be!
stein

I would not, could not, in a pub.
I could not, would not, at a club.
I will not drink them with more hops.
I will not drink them chased with schnapps.
I will not drink them weak or strong.
I will not drink them, it is wrong.
I do not like craft beer & ale.
I do not like them, Sam, you’ve gone off the rail.

Say! In a glass?
Here in a glass!
Would you, could you,
in a glass?

I would not, could not, in a glass.
glass

Would you, could you, while you dine?

I would not, could not, while I dine.
Not in a glass. Not in a stein.
Not in a bar. Not with some cheese.
I do not drink them, Sam, you see.
Not with more hops. Not in a pub.
Not chased with schnapps. Not in a club.
I will not drink them weak or strong.
I will not drink them all night long.

You do not drink
craft beer & ale?

I do not drink them,
Sam, you make me wail.

Could you, would you,
drink with Charlie?

I would not, could not,
drink with Charlie.

Would you, could you,
with more barley?

I could not, would not,
with more barley,
I will not, will not,
drink with Charlie.

I will not drink them while I dine.
I will not drink them in a stein.
Not in a glass! Not with some cheese.
Not in a bar! You let me be!
I do not drink them in a pub.
I do not drink them at a club.
I do not drink them with more hops.
I do not drink them chased with schnapps.
I do not drink them weak or strong.
I do not drink them IT IS WRONG!

I do not drink craft beer & ale!
I do not drink them, Sam — you fail.

You do not drink them. So you say.
Try them! Try them! And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam! If you will let me be,
I will try them. You will see.

Seuss-1

Say! I like craft beer & ale!
I do! I like them, Sam, you prevail!
And I would drink them with more barley.
And I would drink with homebrew Charlie…

And I will drink them while I dine.
And in a glass. And in a stein.
And in a bar. And with some cheese.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will drink them in a pub.
And I will drink them at a club.
And I will drink them with more hops.
And I will drink them chased with schnapps.
And I will drink them weak or strong.
Say! I will drink them ALL NIGHT LONG!

I do so love
craft beer at home!
Thank you!
Thank you, Sam-Cala-Gione!

ILikeit


All artwork by Rob Davis. Thanks, Rob! All words after Theodore Seuss Geisel by Dr. J. If you’re so inclined, you can also see the original text side by side with my parody at Craft Beer & Ale Compared.

Filed Under: Art & Beer, Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: Humor, Poetry



Comments

  1. Stephen Beaumont says

    March 2, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Well done, Mistah Brooks. (Wild applause)

    Reply
    • J says

      March 2, 2010 at 6:25 pm

      High praise indeed, thanks Mr. B.

      Reply
  2. CCurtis says

    March 2, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Excellent!!!

    Reply
  3. Aunt Bee says

    March 2, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I loved reading Dr Seuss aloud to my son 21 years ago, now I want to read this to him!
    Jay, thanks for the giggle.

    Reply
  4. Adam M. says

    March 3, 2010 at 9:20 am

    That is fantastic. I would buy that book. Unfortunately the wife might not like it when I read it to the boy.

    Adam

    Reply
  5. The Duke Of Dunkel says

    March 3, 2010 at 9:24 am

    Dr. Seuss is still my favorite author. Nice job.

    Reply
  6. Joel says

    March 3, 2010 at 10:14 am

    Happy birthday Dr Seuss, and a very happy birthday to Jay!

    …Sorry Jay, Cizauskas spilled the beans… 😉

    http://www.yoursforgoodfermentables.com/2010/03/birthday-in-beer-jay-brooks.html

    Reply
  7. beerman49 says

    March 3, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Nice reading while enjoying an ’08 Foghorn & KUDOS to your illustrator as well!

    Reply
  8. TheFoamingHead says

    March 6, 2010 at 5:53 am

    Jay,

    You continue to amaze. This might be your best post ever.

    Reply
  9. lefos says

    March 11, 2010 at 8:35 am

    Excellent!

    Reply
  10. Dale Miskimins says

    March 11, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Hilarious!

    Reply
  11. David Phillips says

    March 2, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Laughing in spite of myself!! Anyone remember Jessie Jackson reading Green Eggs and Ham on SNL? No comments about the Calagione reference?? He’s a good pusher, I think.
    Happy birthday Jay!

    Reply
  12. samuel merritt says

    March 3, 2011 at 8:55 am

    Nicely done Mr. Brooks!

    Reply
  13. Seth Mellin says

    March 3, 2011 at 9:14 am

    A great literary work of art!! Nice Parody!!

    Reply
  14. Gerry PdM says

    March 2, 2012 at 7:51 am

    That was totally awesome! Art work too!

    Reply
  15. Alex says

    March 2, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Awesome! Great job.

    Reply
  16. David says

    March 2, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Beyond funny and WELL done! Also – well “crafted.”

    Thanks for the memories of Dr. S.

    David
    Black Bucket Brew Inbox Magazine Editor

    Reply
  17. Quincy says

    March 2, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Awesome! Well done 🙂

    Reply
  18. Heather Cathrall says

    March 2, 2012 at 10:38 am

    I love this!!

    Reply
  19. John Ellsessar says

    March 3, 2012 at 5:33 am

    I do so like them here & there, I do so like them everywhere!

    Well Done!!!

    Reply
  20. Rob Davis says

    March 4, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Great to see this again. What a blast this was. Lots of fun trying to emulate the Seuss style. As I recall, Sam was supposed to look like a certain beer crafter, or am I conflating another gig?… 🙂

    Reply
  21. Hot Tin Cat says

    September 30, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    A good many ales later, Green Eggs and Ham has cropped up as a vehicle for political parody:
    http://hottincat.wordpress.com/2013/09/28/cruz-i-am-green-eggs-parody/

    Reply
  22. David says

    March 2, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Yo have posted some of Dr. Seuss beer ads in the past here are some others
    http://www.narragansettbeer.com/tag/dr-seuss

    Reply
    • Jay Brooks says

      March 2, 2015 at 3:34 pm

      Thanks, always nice to see more of his work. Cheers, J.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. sodakbeer's Blog » Blog Archive says:
    March 11, 2010 at 8:37 am

    […] Check out this funny story by the Brookston Beer Bulletin.  It is a parody of Dr. Suess’ Green Eggs & Ham called “Craft Beer & Ale“. […]

    Reply
  2. Green Eggs and Ham Parody | Beers, Beards, and Panties says:
    March 8, 2012 at 9:55 am

    […] that note, I found this wonderful Green Eggs and Ham Parody: https://brookstonbeerbulletin.com/craft-beer-ale-a-parody-of-dr-seuss-green-eggs-ham/  This entry was posted in Blog Nonsense by Holly. Bookmark the […]

    Reply
  3. A Parody of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham | theBeerAuthority says:
    July 13, 2012 at 9:04 am

    […] it out! https://brookstonbeerbulletin.com/craft-beer-ale-a-parody-of-dr-seuss-green-eggs-ham/ Rate this:Share this:PrintFacebookTwitterEmailDiggLinkedInStumbleUponRedditLike this:LikeBe the […]

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  4. 99 Pours: My beer lifestyle | FTC: I need the “Dr. Seuss beer.” says:
    April 26, 2013 at 7:52 am

    […] Dr. J’s Craft Beer & Ale: A Parody of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham […]

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