Today in 2007, US Patent 20070075089 A1 was issued, an invention of Thomas Stein, for his “Method of Protecting the Open Top of a Beer Can and a Soda Can Against Contamination by Insects, Dirt And Debris.” Here’s the Abstract:

A cover for the open top of a soda can or beer can is substantially round and has a pair of parallel sides together with an annular bevel or chamfer to accommodate either a soda can or a beer can. The beer can has a larger diameter at its annular rim than that of the soda can, so that (in use) the cover is reversed. The cover may contain a trademark, logo, company name or message for promotional purposes. An alternate cover is substantially half-round, and a further embodiment is substantially arcuate.

I think the best thing about his patent is the drawing illustrating all of the problems that this invention will fix or make better. They’re hilarious. How did we ever drink from cans before this?