Jay R. Brooks on Beer
Friday’s ad is for Guinness, from fairly recently. From the late 1800s until the 1970s, poster art really came into its own, and in Europe a lot of really cool posters, many of them for breweries, were produced. I’ve been posting vintage European posters all year, and for the remainder of December will feature holiday-themed posters of all ages. This poster was created by an unknown marketing firm, but appears to be inspired by the John Gilroy artwork of the earlier 20th century.
Today is the birthday of Irish novelist, playwright and satirist Brian O’Nolan, who was “considered a major figure in twentieth century Irish literature. Born in Strabane, County Tyrone, he is regarded as a key figure in postmodern literature.” Under the pen name Flann O’Brien, he wrote two influential novels, “At Swim-Two-Birds” and “The Third Policeman.” In 1940, he began writing a daily column for The Irish Times entitled the “Cruiskeen Lawn,” which trasnaltes roughly as “the full little jug.” He originally started writing it under the pseudonym “An Broc” (the badger) but quickly changed it to “Myles na gCopaleen” and finally “Myles na Gopaleen,” which is the one that stuck. He continued writing it until shortly before he died in 1966. Many of them have been collected in book form, and today I was perusing “The Best of Miles,” published in 1968, and discovered this little gem in a chapter entitled “Research Bureau,” about his patented new “Stout Trousers,” that would allow a person to conceal eight bottles of stout in his pants.
“Before the leaves of autumn fall, the Research Bureau, spurred on by the exhortations of Sir Myles na Gcopaleen (the da) will have provided new patent emergency trousers for the plain people of Ireland. These garments, conventional enough in appearance, will be fitted with long eel-like pockets reaching down to the ankles. The pockets will be the exact diameter of a bottle of stout and not by any coincidence, for they are designed to deal with the nuisance of those brown-paper Saturday-night parcels. It will be possible to stow four shots in each leg. At first, walking in the ‘loaded’ position will necessarily be rather slow and straight-legged but practice will tell in the long-run, which should be undertaken only after short runs have been mastered.
What will happen if a man gets an accidental blow in the leg and has his bottles smashed? Nothing. The pockets are stout-proof and the beer will lie safely in the bottom until it can be syphoned into a guest’s mouth, in the privacy of the home. Indeed, many men, disdaining the rather precious affectation of bottles, will have their trousers filled with draught stout or porter and saunter home on their puffy, tubular and intoxicating legs. Where bottles are discarded, however, one must be careful to avoid overcrowded trams and ‘buses. Should a fat lady sit down beside you and crush you with her great girth to make way for her loud children, great cascades of stout may emerge from your pockets, ascending to the roof and drenching everybody with the frothy brew.”
I’m not really sure why nobody ever made Stout Trousers for real. This photo below is the closest I could find of what I imagine the pants would look like.
Sunday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1952. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, one of many that used Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (at least I think this is one that did) features a pelican, with another one in the background with four bottles of Guinness in his bill, being chased by a zookeeper. And at the bottom is this simple poem:
The Pelican, that feathered freak,
Is famed for his capacious beak.
Guinness provides the reason why —
His bill is for a week’s supply!
Saturday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1952. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, one of many that used Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (at least I think this is one that did) features an ostrich, with three more in the background, one of which swallowed the zookeeper’s pint glass. And at the bottom is this simple poem:
The Ostrich, travelers recall,
Enjoys his Guinness, glass and all.
How sad the Guinness takes so long
To get to where it does belong!
Friday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1952. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, one of many that used Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (at least I think this is one that did) features a kangaroo, with another one in the background surprising a zookeeper. And at the bottom is this simple poem:
Ma-supials have a pouch, or bin
To stow their little treasures in.
Not strange if Mrs. Kangaroo
Should poppa a Guinness in it, too!
Thursday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1952. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, one of many that used Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (at least I think this is one that did) features a roaring lion, with another one in the background chasing a zookeeper who’s holding a bottle and glass of Guinness on a tray. And at the bottom is this simple poem:
Insatiable carnivore!
Oh, how voraciously you roar!
Is it because, like us, you feel
You need a Guinness with your meal?
Wednesday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1952. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, one of many that used Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (at least I think this is one that did) features a couple of sea lions, one of them balancing a glass of Guinness on its nose. And at the bottom is this simple poem:
You must admire the sea-lion’s flair
For catching fishes in mid-air:
And this sagacious creature knows
How well, with sea-food Guinness goes.
Tuesday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1931. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, one of many that used Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland is titled “Battle Royal,” and features a boxing match (it is Boxing Day after all) between a unicorn and a lion. There’s fighting over the last remaining Guinness.
Monday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1959. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, which is the cover of the “Guinness Harp” from the issue for Christmas 1959. “The Guinness Harp” was the “Journal of the Home of Guinness, St. James’s Gate, Dublin.” On the cover, Santa is leaving the brewery will a full sack and four bottles tucked into his pockets. No idea what’s in the sack, but it would be interesting to find out.
Sunday’s ad is for Guinness, from 1934. While the best known Guinness ads were undoubtedly the ones created by John Gilroy, Guinness had other creative ads throughout the same period and afterward, too, which are often overlooked. This ad, with the tagline “Christmas Is Coming … Guinness For Strength” shows Santa carrying a large tree as if weighs nothing after having had a bottle of Guinness. Merry Christmas.
