Patent No. 2290089A2: Barley For Production Of Flavor-Stable Beverage

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Today in 2011, US Patent 2290089 A2 was issued, an invention of Søren Knudsen, Lene Mølskov Bech, Klaus Breddam, Finn Lok, Ole Olsen, and Birgitte Skadhauge, assigned to Carlsberg A/S, for their “Barley for Production of Flavor-Stable Beverage.” Here’s the Abstract:

According to the invention, there is provided null-LOX-1 barley and plant products produced thereof, such as malt manufactured by using barley kernels defective in synthesis of the fatty acid-converting enzyme lipoxygenase-1. Said enzyme accounts for the principal activity related to conversion of linoleic acid into 9-hydroperoxy octadecadienoic acid, a lipoxygenase pathway metabolite, which – through further enzymatic or spontaneous reactions – may lead to the appearance of trans-2-nonenal. The invention enables brewers to produce a beer devoid of detectable trans-2-nonenal-specific off-flavors, even after prolonged storage of the beverage.

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Craft Beer & Ale: A Parody of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham

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Today, of course, is the birthday of Theodore Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss. Almost six years ago my kids were on a Dr. Seuss kick and we read quite a few of his books multiple times, with Green Eggs & Ham emerging as the family favorite. I was playing around with the words one night, as I often do, and decided to see if I could come up with a beer-themed parody of the book. I originally posted the results five years ago, and here they are once again; Craft Beer & Ale, by Dr. J. Enjoy!

CRAFT BEER & ALE

Sam I am

I am Sam

Sam I am

That Sam’s upscale.
That Sam regales.
I do not like that Sam wholesale!

Do you drink
craft beer & ale?
Seuss-2

I do not drink them, Sam, they’re stale.
I do not drink
craft beer & ale.

Would you drink them
weak or strong?

I would not drink them
weak or strong.
I would not drink them, it is wrong.

I do not drink
craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them, Sam, curtail.

Would you drink them with more hops?
Would you drink them chased with schnapps?

I do not drink them
with more hops.
I do not drink them
chased with schnapps.
I do not drink them
weak or strong.
I do not drink them
all night long.
I do not drink
craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them,
Sam, you’re off the trail.

Would you drink them
in a pub?
Would you drink them
at a club?

Not in a pub.
Not at a club.
Not with more hops.
Not chased with schnapps.
I would not drink them
weak or strong.
I would not drink them, it is wrong.
I would not drink craft beer & ale.
I do not drink them, Sam — no sale.

Would you? Could you? In a bar?
Drink them! Drink them! Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a bar.

You may like them. You will see.
You may like them with some cheese!
cheese

I would not, could not with some cheese.
Not in a bar! You let me be.

I do not like them in a pub.
I do not like them at a club.
I do not like them with more hops.
I do not like them chased with schnapps.
I do not like them weak or strong.
I do not like them all night long.
I do not like craft beer & ale.
I do not like them, Sam, you’re beyond the pale.

A stein! A stein!
A stein! A stein!
Could you, would you,
in a stein?

Not in a stein! Not in a stein!
Not with some cheese! Sam! Let me be!
stein

I would not, could not, in a pub.
I could not, would not, at a club.
I will not drink them with more hops.
I will not drink them chased with schnapps.
I will not drink them weak or strong.
I will not drink them, it is wrong.
I do not like craft beer & ale.
I do not like them, Sam, you’ve gone off the rail.

Say! In a glass?
Here in a glass!
Would you, could you,
in a glass?

I would not, could not, in a glass.
glass

Would you, could you, while you dine?

I would not, could not, while I dine.
Not in a glass. Not in a stein.
Not in a bar. Not with some cheese.
I do not drink them, Sam, you see.
Not with more hops. Not in a pub.
Not chased with schnapps. Not in a club.
I will not drink them weak or strong.
I will not drink them all night long.

You do not drink
craft beer & ale?

I do not drink them,
Sam, you make me wail.

Could you, would you,
drink with Charlie?

I would not, could not,
drink with Charlie.

Would you, could you,
with more barley?

I could not, would not,
with more barley,
I will not, will not,
drink with Charlie.

I will not drink them while I dine.
I will not drink them in a stein.
Not in a glass! Not with some cheese.
Not in a bar! You let me be!
I do not drink them in a pub.
I do not drink them at a club.
I do not drink them with more hops.
I do not drink them chased with schnapps.
I do not drink them weak or strong.
I do not drink them IT IS WRONG!

I do not drink craft beer & ale!
I do not drink them, Sam — you fail.

You do not drink them. So you say.
Try them! Try them! And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam! If you will let me be,
I will try them. You will see.

Seuss-1

Say! I like craft beer & ale!
I do! I like them, Sam, you prevail!
And I would drink them with more barley.
And I would drink with homebrew Charlie…

And I will drink them while I dine.
And in a glass. And in a stein.
And in a bar. And with some cheese.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will drink them in a pub.
And I will drink them at a club.
And I will drink them with more hops.
And I will drink them chased with schnapps.
And I will drink them weak or strong.
Say! I will drink them ALL NIGHT LONG!

I do so love
craft beer at home!
Thank you!
Thank you, Sam-Cala-Gione!

ILikeit


All artwork by Rob Davis. Thanks, Rob! All words after Theodore Seuss Geisel by Dr. J. If you’re so inclined, you can also see the original text side by side with my parody at Craft Beer & Ale Compared.

Patent No. 3171746A: Production Of Brewers’ Wort

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Today in 1965, US Patent 3171746 A was issued, an invention of David Teignmouth Shore, for his “Production of Brewers’ Wort.” There’s no Abstract, but in the description Shore explains that his “invention relates to the production of brewers wort at the mashing stage in which a reaction is created between water and goods, i.e., ground solids or grist to obtain as a product of the stage a wort which is known as sweet wort: the sweet Wort is passed on for further treatment including heating, hopping and fermentation treatment to produce beer of one grade or style or another.”
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Patent No. 4728010A: Keg Tapper

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Today in 1988, US Patent 4728010 A was issued, an invention of Mack S. Johnston, for his “Keg Tapper.” Here’s the Abstract:

A keg tapper for use with a keg having a neck with a closure valve carried therein and a flange with a tapered edge on the neck. An arrangement for attaching the tapper at the flanged neck so that completion of the attachment opens the inner valve of the keg closure. A plunger carried in the keg tapper with an arrangement for moving the plunger axially within the tapper body to engage the keg closure and open the outer valve. A keg tapper which can be utilized in the tavern configuration and in the picnic configuration.

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Patent No. 2462930A: Keg Closure

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Today in 1949, US Patent 2462930 A was issued, an invention of Victor Alvear, for his “Keg Closure.” There’s no Abstract, but the description claims that the “object of the present invention to provide a bung for a keg in which the stopper is a fixture on the keg and cannot become lost and the chance of its becoming damaged is reduced to a minimum.” Alvear also writes that in addition, additional reasons for his patent include the “means for bringing the stopper or plug to alignment with the bung hole by gravity where it can easily be moved into closed position, the “means for readily grasping it with a tool and with means for sealing the opening in the bung,” “eliminate hammering and pounding on the barrel head and to eliminate spearing of corks,” to “facilitate tapping of the keg,” “provide a stopper that is sanitary, simple in construction and economical to manufacture,” “provide a stopper that cannot leak or blow out regardless of the pressure in the keg thereby providing an air-tight seal,” and “to provide a stopper that is self-sealing.” That is one impressive keg stopper.
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Patent No. 2109489A: Liquid Filling Machine

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Today in 1938, US Patent 2109489 A was issued, an invention of John Daniel Le Frank, assigned to the American Can Co., for his “Liquid Filling Machine.” There’s no Abstract, but the description states that the “present invention relates to a machine for filling cans with liquids that have a tendency to foam and has particular reference to devices which minimize foaming of the liquid passing into a can, passages in the devices being automatically purged of any foam which may have accumulated during the filling of a preceding can.”
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Patent No. 254120A: Beer-Cooler

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Today in 1882, US Patent 254120 A was issued, an invention of Patrick J. Daroy, for his “Beer-Cooler.” There’s no Abstract, but the description states that his “improvement relates to a device for cooling beer as it is drawn from the cask, by which it is cooled as it is used, instead of being obliged to cool the cask, and thereby diminish the head or pressure, besides the waste of ice in cooling through the wood.”
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Patent No. 1899203A: Combined Bottle Opener And Key Ring

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Today in 1933, US Patent 1899203 A was issued, an invention of Joseph Charle Auguste Labreche, for his “Combined Bottle Opener and Key Ring.” There’s no Abstract, but the simple description states that the “invention pertains to a novel combined bottle opener and key ring designed a to be carried conveniently-in the pocket.” Weird to think that this had to be patented, they seem so ubiquitous now.
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Patent No. 1899784A: Bottle Cap

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Today in 1933, US Patent 1899784 A was issued, an invention of Albin H. Warth, assigned to the Crown Cork & Seal Co., for his “Bottle Cap.” This crown was patented shortly before the repeal of Prohibition, which took place several months later, in December, although by April some lower-strength beer became available. There’s no Abstract, but the description provides some insight in the why it was a more modern crown.

This invention relates to bottle caps and more particularly to a cap consisting of ametallic’shell containing a cushion disc having what is known as a protecting facing. In its preferred form, the invention relates to that type of cap having a protecting facing in the form of a center-disc or center-spot which is of smaller diameter than the cushion disc.

In closures of this character, the cushion or compressible disc is ordinarily formed of sheet cork or of a composition of granular cork, the particles of which are united by a binder which is resistant to gas and acids.

It is desirable to protect the cushion disc from the contents of the bottle, since the cork or other material of the disc becomes discolored and imparts an undesirable flavor or taint to the contents.

The facing discs have ordinarily been fornied either of metal foil, such as aluminum or tin, or of fibrous material, such as paper.

The present invention relates to the latter type in which the facing is of paper.

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Patent No. 1018703A: Building For Cooling And Storing Beer

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Today in 1912, US Patent 1018703 A was issued, an invention of Wilhelm Griesser, for his “Building for Cooling and Storing Beer.” This one seems crazy, an entire building being patented. There’s no Abstract, but the description states that the “present invention has reference to storage buildings, and it comprehends generally a structure which is adapted primarily for cooling and storing beer and is designed to be built up floor by floor as the tanks are arranged in position one above another, so as to produce, in effect, at its completion, a tower or the like wherein the tanks are inclosed and supported by a homogeneous monolithic casing of cementitious material, the tanks being built into the casing, during the actual construction of the latter, in such a manner that their metal walls and the walls of the casing mutually reinforce each other.”
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