Wednesday’s ad is for Schlitz, from 1964. In this ad, nearly thirty years later, they’re still talking about the story of Admiral George Dewey, who destroyed the Spanish fleet in Manila Bay in the Philippines in the spring of 1898, without a single American casualty. This was during the Spanish-American War. Besides the art being far more minimalist, in this version of the story after their victory, the Schlitz office in Manila the next day delivered to Dewey and his crew “two bottles for every man jack in Dewey’s command,” whereas the earlier ad claims it was 3600 bottles of Schlitz, one for every sailor who took part in the battle.

Also, the phrase in ad, “splice the main brace” is in fact a nautical term defined as meaning “an order given aboard naval vessels to issue the crew with an alcoholic drink” by Wikipedia, and Origins of Naval Terminology claims. “It was the custom, after the main brace was properly spliced, to serve grog to the entire crew. Thus, today, after a hard day (or, not so hard day), the phrase has become an invitation to have a drink.” So that’s a real thing. I’ll have to figure out a way to work that into a conversation.

Sunday’s ad is for Schlitz, from 1900. In this ad, the story of the Schlitz Brewery’s honest is told, that and how “Purity Built It.” That, along with the illustration of pure-looking woman astride an unusually large bottle (unless she’s extraordinarily diminutive) and holding up another symbol of purity, the flower.

Saturday’s ad is for Schlitz, from 1900. In this ad, an impressively large woman sits on the Arctic circle of the Earth, hops and barley in her hair, opening the tap stuck into Milwaukee, Wisconsin and filling a bottle of beer almost as tall as the Earth itself. I can’t even imagine what size the fermenters would have to have been to brew that much beer just to fill that one bottle. No wonder they felt like they were on top of the world. That is pretty impressive.