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They Said It Couldn’t Be Done

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guinness-glass
Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow and for most people that means Guinness, here’s a little reminder of something in Guinness’ recent past that I imagine they’d rather remained buried. But it’s just too funny not to share. In 1979, Guinness released a low-calorie beer they called “Guinness Light.” According to Ireland Fun Facts, “people here still talk about the advertising campaign, which used the tagline ‘they said it couldn’t be done.’ Apparently it couldn’t. Guinness Light flopped so sensationally it earned the title ‘The HMS Titanic of stout products’ from The Irish Times.”

It’s not hard to see why. I can scarcely imagine something more oxymoronic than Guinness Light. But for true liquid-shooting-out-your-nose laughs, watch the uber-bombastic television commercial that attempts to equate the beer with man landing on the moon. With bonus points for using the sunrise fanfare from “Thus Spake Zarathustra” by Richard Strauss (trust me, you’ll know it when you hear it), I love the editing of the people turning their heads quickly toward the camera and the faux echo chamber voice over. Just hilarious. But put your drink down first. Enjoy.

Beer In Ads #65: Thirsty Moon Beer

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Monday’s ad is an attempt to contrast Friday’s, which you may recall was the Girl in the Moon for Miller High Life. I don’t know much about this ad, though I believe it’s from the 1930s. It appears to be from Germany but looks not at all like a typical ad for a German beer. In this case, instead of the girl being in the moon, she’s instead offering the thirsty moon a drink of beer.

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Beer In Ads #64: Miller High Life Witch

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Friday’s ad is for Miller High Life featuring the “Girl in the Moon,” which was originally created in the early 1900’s by an unknown artist. The beer itself debuted in 1903 and was advertised with the girl in the moon from the beginning, though to me she looks more like a witch. I think it’s that hat. It’s rumored that the model for her was brewery founder Frederick Miller’s granddaughter. But I’ve always liked the stylized, colorful costume she wears.

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And here’s another one featuring her.

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Beer In Ads #62: Brewer’s Best, Remember The Name …

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Wednesday’s ad is for a presumably short-lived New York City brewery, Brewer’s Best Associates, Inc., which was located at 620 Fifth Avenue. The ad for their Pilsener Beer is from 1947. The normally authoritative American Breweries II doesn’t even have a listing for the brewery, which is odd. It’s the first time I’ve looked up a brewery and it wasn’t listed. Given that I’ve never heard of it and there doesn’t seem to be a record of the brewery, it’s funny that their slogan is all about remembering their name, “The New Big Name in Beer.” I guess it didn’t work out as they’d hoped. The other funny thing in the ad is the endorsement from “Ted Collins, owner of Boston Yanks Pro-Football Team and famous radio producer.” The Boston Yanks were a short-lived team that only played from 1944-47. In 1948, they relocated to New York City and were the New York Bulldogs for a season before becoming the New York Yanks until 1952, when they played their final season in Texas as the Dallas Texans. As for the beer, I guess it wasn’t “the beer you’ve been waiting for” after all.

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UPDATE: An alert reader (thanks Beer Dave!) offered some additional information about Brewer’s Best.

Brewers Best was actually not a brewery. This was a franchise of sorts. Brewers Best was brewed at about 25 different small breweries around the US. The headquarters in NY was essentially a sales office. This brand had national distribution through the network of small brewers who brewed the beer under contract.

Beer In Ads #61: Mr. Magoo For Stag Beer

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Tuesday’s ad is for Stag Beer, whose original name was “Kaiser Beer” until 1907. In an effort to avoid growing anti-German sentiment, Star Brewing held a contest to pick a new name. A winner was chosen today in 1907, and the beer was renamed “Stag Beer.” It proved a very popular name. The ad below ran in a Pennsylvania newspaper in 1959. It features the popular UPA cartoon character Mr. Magoo.

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Mr. Magoo debuted in 1949 and was voiced by Jim Backus, perhaps most well-known as Thurston Howell III on the television series Gilligan’s Island.

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But being a cartoon, where Mr. Magoo really shined was in cartoon commercials for Stag.

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You have to love the cartoon of an adult character who’s allowed to act like an adult. That would never happen nowadays.

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Here’s an example of one of the Mr. Magoo ads for Stag Beer.

Beer In Ads #60: Schlitz El Toro Bravo

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Monday’s ad is for Schlitz Malt Liquor. I don’t ever remember the can looking so, well, stylish so I have to guess this is from the 60s? The pull-top is another clue, of course, as Schlitz introduced what they called the “pop-top” in 1963. Plus the stylized art looks rather bachelor pad circa mid-60s, too. Plus, I love those bold reds and blacks.

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Beer In Art #68: Henry Singleton’s Ale-House Door

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art-beer
Today’s work of art was originally painted around 1790, when the English pub was a very different animal. It was created by Henry Singleton, a British artist who lived from 1766-1839. This painting, The Ale-House Door, is an oil on canvas painting roughly 10 x 12 inches, and the original can be found at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London. It’s also sometimes known by the title At the Inn Door.

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The pub looks like it was probably called The Bell, though I’m just guessing based on the sign. According to my handy Dictionary of Pub Names, the Bell is a fairly common pub name owing to the idea that a “bell speaks all languages.”

You can read more about Singleton at his Wikipedia page and there’s a biography of him from the Grove Dictionary of Art, too. You can see a few more of his works at the Tate and there are more links at ArtCyclopedia.

Beer In Ads #59: Whitbread’s Here’s Health

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Friday’s ad is for Whitbread beer, since that’s who I was writing about for this month’s Session post today. This one is from 1930 and fittingly features a boat on the water. “Ashore or Afloat WHITBREAD’S PALE ALE is the best Summer beverage.” The art has the same idealized look as the series that U.S. Brewers Foundation started in the late 1940s, Beer Belongs.

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And here’s another from what looks to be the same series, though this one features a lunch setting.

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You can also see a larger, though watermarked, lunch ad and there’s also a third one from the series, this one in a canoe. Lastly, here’s a clearer, but again watermarked, version of the boat ad.