Wednesday’s ad is for Grain Belt Beer, from 1973 or 74. The ad shows three panels with plays on words, but they’re not particularly funny or clever. The first one is “Sure Glad I Fondue,” the second is Feast and Foremost, while the third is simply “Ho! Ho! Ho!” I think that’s meant to be the Green Giant rather than The Hulk, which is perhaps even odder. These seem more like drawing board ideas rather than finished ads. But what do I know.
Tuesday’s ad is for Golden Grain Belt Beer, from 1910. The ad shows a baseball game, with a man sliding into a base in a cloud of dust. As I mentioned earlier, today in 1839 is the date given when baseball was invented, and while that’s undoubtedly not accurate, it’s still nice to have a date to celebrate baseball. The tagline, almost certainly illegal today, “Quick Thought — Responsive Muscles” goes on to say that “athletes know the great value of good beer as a healthful builder of tissues wasted by exertion.” Don’t they just, though.
Monday’s ad is for the Gluek Stite, from 1964. The ad shows two women water-skiing and screaming with (delight?) If they had a couple of bottles of malt liquor, it might be something else. The ad is for Gluek Malt Liquor, which was called Stite for some reason. And that tagline: “pour RIGHT pour STITE,” followed by “Aquatenniel time … Anytime … Stite’s Right for Fun.” Also, they claim it’s the “Original Malt Liquor.” Can that be right? It was launched in 1942, and was undoubtedly one of the earlier offerings, but was it first? I’m really not sure who holds that dubious title.
Sunday’s ad is for the Indianapolis Brewing Co.’s Hoosier Beer, from maybe the 1890s. The ad shows a provocative scene that appears to be a man and woman in bed with the caption “When He Strikes Town He Wants His —” But all is not as it seems. This is a card that when you open it, it reveals a far more innocent scene in which the man is sitting at a table in a restaurant or tavern and the woman is serving him a bottle of beer. The remainder of the caption is also revealed, and all he wanted was his “Hoosier Beer.”
The unopened card:
The opened card:
Saturday’s ad is for Heileman’s Old Style Lager, from the 1950s. The ad shows a female bowler (look for it, you’ll see it) smiling and holding up a bottle of beer with a list of interesting reasons why “You’ll like the taste of Old Style Lager.” But I especially like the tagline at the bottom: “We don’t aim to make the most beer; only the best.” You don’t often see semicolons in ad copy, so that’s a bonus.
Friday’s ad is for Narragansett Lager Beer, from 1948. The ad shows a waiter in a green jacket — with an awesome mustache — and a button with the number “5” on it carrying three full glasses of beer along with three unopened bottles of Narragansett Lager Beer with the tagline “Everybody’s Saying … Hi Neighbor have a ‘Gansett.”
Thursday’s ad is for Old Reading Beer, from the 1940s, I think. The ad is by famed pinup artist Alberto Vargas and shows a woman in a skintight skimpy outfit (to today’s eyes it looks like a modest one-piece bathing suit) with a belt. She’s also holding a hat. The tagline starts with “From the heart of the Pennsylvania Dutch Country.” Reading Beer was my hometown brewery growing up, although it closed when I was a junior in high school. The most interesting part though is their other claim. “Take Some Home … It’s Sugar-Free*. I’m sure that asterisk is important, but I’m not sure what it refers to. That part of the ad is missing and I can’t find many other examples. So far all of the similar ads include the asterisk but no additional information as you’d expect. Maybe at the bottom in a very tiny font, it says “just kidding.”
Wednesday’s ad is for Long Life beer, from the 1960s. The ad shows a woman sitting in an open refrigerator on top of six-packs of Long Life beer, which was originally an Ind Coope brand but is now brewed by Carlsberg UK.
Monday’s ad is for Schlitz Malt Liquor, from 1965. The ad shows a woman staring into her glass of Malt Liquor. This ad was two years after introducing their malt liquor, so they were still trying to educate their potential customers, and it’s quite interesting how they characterize it. “Bolder than beer. More character than ale. Less filling than both.”
Sunday’s ad is for Ruppert Beer, from 1947. The ad shows a farmer taking a nap while his horse looks on disapprovingly. But the tagline, “Some Things Can’t Be Hurried” isn’t about growing crops, but about brewing beer, which Ruppert apparently does not just slowly, but s-l-o-w-l-y. I may not be an expert in the philosophy of time, but I don’t think you can age something slowly. Time is linear, at least in practical terms, and moves at a fixed pace. It may sometimes seem to go slower or faster, but that’s just our perception of it.
