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Jay R. Brooks on Beer

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A Texas Bar & The Power Of Prayer

April 19, 2011 By Jay Brooks

humor
It reads like a joke, so I don’t know if it’s true or not, though it does come from the Clark County Democrat of Grove Hill, Alabama from late October, 2009. Thanks to Pete Slosberg, who sent me the link. Apparently, a Texas beer joint sues church…. Here’s the joke … er, story:

In a small Texas town, (Mt. Vernon) Drummond’s bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not.”

Filed Under: Just For Fun Tagged With: Humor, Pubs, Religion & Beer, Texas

Drunken Carrot

April 5, 2011 By Jay Brooks

carrots-2
On Sunday, my wife and I indulged our inner geeks by attending WonderCon at Moscone Center in San Francisco. It’s an orgy of comic books, cartoons, science fiction and fantasy, art, toys, film, television and all manner of mainstream and non-mainstream entertainment. It was a fun day, and we picked up some cool stuff for ourselves and the kids. One oddity I came across is a stuffed vegetable (animal didn’t seem quite right) entitled Drunken Carrot. He’s part of the Mr. Toast collection. You can see more of artist Dan Goodsell’s artwork and characters at the Wonderful World of Mr. Toast.

Drunken Carrot is described like so: “He is orange and he has a problem.” I’m not entirely sure why one of his eyes is not working, but I assume it’s from over-indulging on beer — what is that, Dos Equis?
drunkenCarrot

Since I didn’t want him to get too lonely being stuck in my office all day long, I also picked up a companion for him: Shaky Bacon. Shaky doesn’t look to happy. He probably needs a drink.
shaky-bacon

Filed Under: Food & Beer, Just For Fun Tagged With: Food, Humor

Gordon Biersch Creates World’s Rarest Beer: Hoppotamus Maximus

March 26, 2011 By Jay Brooks

gordon-biersch
I ran into Dan Gordon, from Gordon Biersch, at CBC yesterday and he told me about a new beer they’ve created, Hoppotamus Maximus, a hoppy and oh-so-rare beer that few people — unfortunately — will ever get a chance to sample. He’s teamed with Justin Crossly of The Brewing Network to tell the story of how he created the beer. It’s a pretty funny spoof of the hype surrounding hard-to-find beers, and the humor is as dry as I expect the beer would be.

Filed Under: Beers, Breweries, Just For Fun Tagged With: Bay Area, California, Humor, Video

Brew Minions, A Brew Masters Parody

March 5, 2011 By Jay Brooks

ska
The folks at Ska Brewing, from Durango, Colorado, have made a hilarious spoof of Sam Calagione’s Discovery Channel series Brew Masters. In fact, Sam even makes a cameo appearance in the 22-minute video. The plot of the video involves making a special commemorative beer for the 30th anniversary of one of their favorite ska bands, The Toasters, using — you guessed it — toast. Ska co-founder David Thibodeau is great in it, and I especially loved his “there’s Adam Avery.” Don’t worry, it will make sense when you see it. Enjoy.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: Colorado, Film, Humor, Video

Multicolored Beer

March 4, 2011 By Jay Brooks

rainbow-beers
One of the great things about beer is the many colors that beer can have, though it’s a more limited rainbow. Beer color tends to be in the “fall” family of colors, ranging from yellow to amber, orange, brown and finally black. A Japanese brewery on the island of Hokkaido is trying to change the beer color rainbow to more closely match the more familiar ROYGBIV color spectrum. I’m not sure that’s an entirely welcome idea, but here’s what the Abashiri Brewery is up to:

abashiri-red-btl
RED: Hamanasu Draft

Hamanasu Draft Translated from Japanese (via Google Translate):

Summer flowers image of Hokkaido “Hamanasu” the brightness of “Ruby Red” was able to express clear and shining brightly colored gems such as rubies concept. By use of secondary materials Hamanasu fruit, finished with a tap Hamanasu aroma and fruity flavor. Pour into a glass and there are wildflowers bloom to decorate the jewel-studded coast of Okhotsk in the summer.

This “Hamanasu DRAFT” brew under the technical guidance of the Tokyo University of Agriculture, the thing to use natural materials from the fruits of Okhotsk Hamanasu local representation could Hamanasu aroma and fruity taste. The petals of “Ruby Red” commitment as well, we succeeded in expressing in clear and shining bright red that you use the natural pigment anthocyanin.

abashiri-red-hamanasu

Next up, skipping any yellow, golden, amber or orange beers from the spectrum to reach green.

abashiri-green-btl
GREEN: Shiretoko Draft

Shiretokko Draft Translated from Japanese (via Google Translate):

“Was established as a world heritage, everyone would like to deliver the magnificent nature of Shiretoko” Carefully selected to match the dye-based pigment spirulina, natural shade of green in a clear expression of the Shiretoko the fresh green of spring, As for the unprecedented low-malt beer “smell” the theme is an article created.

As to the third bullet of the Four Seasons series, Hokkaido, sparkling wine become the season of the fresh green “Shiretoko draft” was able to produce. In order to have a scent of this feature, deliberately suppressing the use of hops, by using low-malt beer find a match for this fragrance in a number of aroma components to reproduce the natural feel the rich aroma of Shiretoko for. In addition, in order to close the shade and majestic scenery of Shiretoko, from the natural pigment various “Draft ice” used “Spirulina,” By using natural pigments in three, including the depth and clarity than succeeded in expressing in conjunction with the mystic hue.

abashiri-green-shiretoko

Can anybody say “Saint Patrick’s Day?” Now onto the blues.

abashiri-blue-btl
BLUE: Tyuhyou Draft

Tyuhyou Draft Translated from Japanese (via Google Translate):

Okhotsk Sea ice image of a sky blue “Okhotsk” light and refreshing finish to the faucet has a rich brewing water used to the concept of drift ice in the Sea of Okhotsk. It is developed under technical guidance of Biology, Faculty of Tokyo University of Agriculture and Industry, and granular foam by bubbling pure bright blue sea of Okhotsk ever, causes the image of floating on the sea ice in the slightly blue.

Pour into a glass and there are romantic wider Sea of Okhotsk in winter. The article has created feelings of pride in our plant material to stick to local produce. DRAFT Niatari ice brew, wanted to express in a bubble floating in the sea ice.

I was looking for there for a good foaming, Shima Hisashi professor of Tokyo University of Agriculture, has proposed the use of yam. The Chinese yam, including components that improve the bubbling has been demonstrated in Shima Hisashi’s research.

The commitment also blue Okhotsk, spirulina is said to be the plant’s oldest (and ingredients that many are taking a healthy food), using trial and error many times, the color of the bright sea in clear to reproduce successfully.

Though it’s not stated here, the blue color comes from the addition of seaweed in the beer.

Okhotsk Blue Draft stands out for its cool color and interesting (yet not off-putting) ingredients. The brew is made using water melted from icebergs that float each year onto Hokkaido beaches from the chilly Sea of Okhotsk, an arm of the North Pacific ocean bordered by Japan and Russia.

Then Abashiri went one step further and used seaweed to give their brew and icy blue tint. Perhaps not the greatest selling point but it does make Okhotsk Blue look, well, different. As for the taste… reports state that Ryuho isn’t at all bad as beers go, and if you didn’t know there was seaweed in it, you likely wouldn’t guess there was.

abashiri-blue-tyuhyou

So if those weren’t weird enough, here’s the final one, a pink beer made with potatoes.

abashiri-pink-btl
PINK: Jyaga Draft (or Potato Draft)

Jyaga Draft Translated from Japanese (via Google Translate):

The series culminates in Abashiri seasons, the fall harvest is the land of the north Okhotsk. Representation of low-malt beer purple potatoes colorful petals bloom on the ground of the North “draft Potato” When I die pretty flowers that come autumn harvest, the potatoes using the “Fall of Okhotsk,” guests feel the dish.

The fourth season series, “Autumn Harvest” Okhotsk from the Omoi want to express that began with the material sticking to it. Met there is “newly harvested potatoes” and “specialty Abashiri” Silvervine passion fruit called the North was. Abashiri produced by massive potato flavor and ripe “Silvervine” finished in a faucet has been moderately fruity fermented by Yoshiyasu matches.

abashiri-pink-potato

Be afraid. be very afraid.

Filed Under: Beers, Breweries, Just For Fun Tagged With: beer color, Humor, Japan

The Fatal Glass Of Beer

March 3, 2011 By Jay Brooks

wc-fields
The short film A Fatal Glass of Beer, starring W.C. Fields, premiered today in 1933.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun, Related Pleasures Tagged With: Humor, Video

Muppets Drink Kronenbourg 1664

February 26, 2011 By Jay Brooks

kronenbourg-1664
Another one of my many obsessions is my unabashed love of the Muppets. I came across a new video today of the Muppets covering the LCD Soundsystem song Dance Yrself Clean. In the Video, apparently shot in Brighton, both Cookie Monster and Animal are seen drinking Kronenburg 1664 — hey, they’re both over 21 — and in fact at the end (spoiler alert) both pass out on Brighton beach surrounded by beer cans. Enjoy.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun, Related Pleasures Tagged With: France, Humor, Music, Video

Liking Beer Equals Liking Sex?

February 11, 2011 By Jay Brooks

humor
I’m not sure what to think about this one. An alert reader (thanks Dave) sent me this curious bit of advice from OK Trends, offering dating advice including the Best Questions to Ask On a First Date, to wit:

If you want to know if your date will sleep with you on the first date, the question to ask apparently is “do you like the taste of beer?” That’s because, according to their research, “whether someone likes the taste of beer is the single best predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date.”
BeerGoggles

They continue. “No matter their gender or orientation, beer-lovers are 60% more likely to be okay with sleeping with someone they’ve just met.” I wish I’d known that before I was married.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: Humor, Statistics

Wisconsin Food Pyramid

February 6, 2011 By Jay Brooks

nfl-gb
I imagine the “Wisconsin Food Pyramid” was originally meant to be derogatory, but what could be a better meal for a football game than sausages (cooked in beer), cheese and beer? That’s what I’m having at my Super Bowl party, along with chips, pretzels and more cheese. And Sean Paxton, the Homebrew Chef, has promised to bring Shepherd’s Pie. Yum. Go Packers!

wis-food-pyramid

Filed Under: Food & Beer, Just For Fun Tagged With: Food, Football, Humor, Sports, Wisconsin

Stephen Colbert Tastes Walgreen’s New Private Label Beer “Big Flats”

February 3, 2011 By Jay Brooks

colbert-report
Last month, you may recall, the drug store chain Walgreen’s debuted a private label beer brewed by Genesee, which they call Big Flats 1901. On last night’s Colbert Show, during his regular Tip of the Hat/Wag of My Finger segment, Stephen talked about the new Walgreen’s beer, and even tried a can of the beer. Wait through the British Superman story for the hilarious Big Flats piece.

The Colbert ReportMon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tip/Wag – British Superman & Big Flats Beer
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: Humor, Television, Video

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