My good friend Dave Suurballe sent me this page from Modern Drunkard magazine, knowing my disdain for Alcohol Justice. It’s pretty funny, and true, too.
Beer In Ads #2334: Morale, Mrs. Howard’s Recipe For The “Grumps”…
Tuesday’s ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1943, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, Mr. Howard is gloomy but his wife, Mrs. Howard, has a simple cure. She turns on his favorite radio show and his grumps are cured. It’s one of those “little things” that can “build morale,” like “their right to enjoy a refreshing glass of beer.”
Beer In Ads #2333: Morale, Tell Uncle Bert I Can Still Lick Him Pitching Horseshoes
Monday’s ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1944, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, a Navy sailor is writing home and missing lots of little things, like beating his uncle at horseshoes and enjoying “a refreshing glass of beer or ale.”
Beer In Ads #2332: Morale, There’s Mary In Her New Fall Hat
Sunday’s ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1942, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, Joe (presumably her fella) was smart enough to compliment Mary about her new hat, which was one of the little things that made a big difference to her, and improved her morale, just like how “millions of Americans attach a special value to their right to enjoy a refreshing glass of beer or ale.”
Beer In Ads #2331: Morale, Did You Cut Out A Pumpkin?
Saturday’s ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1944, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, a Coast Guard soldier is writing home about all the little things he misses, about carving pumpkins for Halloween or that a “cool, sparkling, friendly glass of beer is a sigh of satisfaction.”
The Drunkard And His Wife
Today is the birthday of Jean de La Fontaine, who “was a famous French fabulist and one of the most widely read French poets of the 17th century. He is known above all for his Fables, which provided a model for subsequent fabulists across Europe and numerous alternative versions in France, and in French regional languages.” One of his fables is called “The Drunkard and His Wife.” It’s an odd little story about a wife who came up with a novel cure for her husband’s drinking. Why it hasn’t caught on is anybody’s guess.
This is a modern translation, done by Craig Hill for “The Complete Fables of La Fontaine: A New Translation in Verse.”
Just for fun, here’s an earlier version from 1886, translated by Walter Thornbury, and with an illustration by Gustave Doré:
FABLE LIII.
THE DRUNKARD AND HIS WIFE.
Each one’s his faults, to which he still holds fast,
And neither shame nor fear can cure the man;
‘Tis apropos of this (my usual plan),
I give a story, for example, from the past.
A follower of Bacchus hurt his purse,
His health, his mind, and still grew each day worse;
Such people, ere they’ve run one-half their course,
Drain all their fortune for their mad expenses.
One day this fellow, by the wine o’erthrown,
Had in a bottle left his senses;
[Pg 168]His shrewd wife shut him all alone
In a dark tomb, till the dull fume
Might from his brains evaporate.
He woke and found the place all gloom,
A shroud upon him cold and damp,
Upon the pall a funeral lamp.
“What’s this?” said he; “my wife’s a widow, then!”
On that the wife, dressed like a Fury, came,
Mask’d, and with voice disguised, into the den,
And brought the wretched sot, in hopes to tame,
Some boiling gruel fit for Lucifer.
The sot no longer doubted he was dead—
A citizen of Pluto’s—could he err?
“And who are you?” unto the ghost he said.
“I’m Satan’s steward,” said the wife, “and serve the food
For those within this black and dismal place.”
The sot replied, with comical grimace,
Not taking any time to think,
“And don’t you also bring the drink?”
And here’s one more translation of the fable:
Each has his fault, to which he clings
In spite of shame or fear.
This apophthegm a story brings,
To make its truth more clear.
A sot had lost health, mind, and purse;
And, truly, for that matter,
Sots mostly lose the latter
Ere running half their course.
When wine, one day, of wit had fill’d the room,
His wife inclosed him in a spacious tomb.
There did the fumes evaporate
At leisure from his drowsy pate.
When he awoke, he found
His body wrapp’d around
With grave-clothes, chill and damp,
Beneath a dim sepulchral lamp.
‘How’s this? My wife a widow sad?’
He cried, ‘and I a ghost? Dead? dead?’
Thereat his spouse, with snaky hair,
And robes like those the Furies wear,
With voice to fit the realms below,
Brought boiling caudle to his bier –
For Lucifer the proper cheer;
By which her husband came to know –
For he had heard of those three ladies –
Himself a citizen of Hades.
‘What may your office be?’
The phantom question’d he.
‘I’m server up of Pluto’s meat,
And bring his guests the same to eat.’
‘Well,’ says the sot, not taking time to think,
‘And don’t you bring us anything to drink?’
Beer In Ads #2330: Morale, Just A Letter From The Folks
Friday’s ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1942, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, “there’s Bill reading that letter again.” In most of these ads, they talk about writing letters, which must seem odd to a generation who never writes letter at all; texts, e-mail, etc. but the thrill of getting and reading a handwritten letter in the mailbox is lost today. I can’t remember the last time I wrote a personal letter, either, so it’s me as well. But I do miss them a bit. Sometimes I think not all progress has been for the better. And I imagine a letter from your folks while hundreds of miles away, fighting in a war, which be a pretty meaningful letter, with or without a “cool, refreshing glass of beer.”
The 10 Tavern Commandments
This is a fascinating piece of history. It’s a lithograph from 1873 entitled “The 10 tavern commandments, as every landlord should show them to his guests” and it’s also printed in a second language, German, and called “Die 10 Wirthshaus-Gebote, wie sie jeder Wirth seinen Gästen auf’s fleissigste vorhalten soll.” The lithographer was Theodore Kahlmann, and it was published by C. Brothers in New York.
It’s a little hard to read them without blowing up the image, so here are the English language version of The 10 Tavern Commandments, though I confess not all of them make complete sense.
- Thou shallst have no host but me!
Of all good hosts consider me the very best,
In my Inn alone be pleased, frequent not the rest. - Thou shallst not use in vain the name thy host!
Call not on me in vain,
But for drinks, whereby I gain,
Or, when you wish to pay,
Then call on me you may. - Thou shallst not chain the Tiger, for he is most ferocious!
Leave not they pocket book at home,
For ’tis bad when borrowing you come,
You will relish better, what you drink and eat,
When you promptly pay as ’tis need. - Thou shallst honor thine host and hostess, that thou mayest prosper and live long on earth!
Often in foul speech or name
Never thy host or his dame,
To find fault with the drink would become you ill,
But you should praise it when and wherever you will. - Thou shallst not slay bottles and glasses but shallots refrain from all such touching exercise!
The life of bottles and glasses thou must not take,
For ’tis mean these things in wrathful mood to break,
Moreover you’ll get in trouble, if you raise hell,
For then the Peelers come and take you to a prison cell. - Thou shallst in night’s dark hours not mistake my wife for thine!
Let the evil spirit never prompt thee,
To bow in courtship to my wife thy knee,
For then I’d throw thee out of a window or of door,
And if t’were from the fourth or yet a higher floor. - Thou shallst not find and take with thee what n’er was lost!
My chalk thou must not take,
I need it thy bill to make,
Or else I’ll get; for thy punishment
Such as will chalk down double, each and every cent. - Thou shallst not bear false witness to thine host!
Tell me always when I ask; in truthfulness
What thou owes for drinks, rather more than less,
Give never a false statement,
For honesty is thy best ornament. - Thou shallst not covet what is loss to thy host!
Ask not that I should give
Large pieces and full measures,
For ’tis by my profit that I live,
Dear customers remember his leisure. - Thou shallst not covet to carress my cook and water girls!
’Tis best they desires to curb and bridle,
For it makes the girls stupid and idle
When love is talked behind the kitchen door,
And then it might grow on thee and become a bore.
In the illustration in the center, the tavern owner (presumably) is holding up two tables with the 10 Commandments on them as his guests and staff appear to be ignoring him, just as you’d expect when someone is trying to law down the law.
Beer In Ads #2329: Morale, We’ll Have To Go Hunting Again
Thursday’s ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1944, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, a Marine is writing a letter home, reminiscing about the many little things he’s missing, and especially his family’s hunting trips, not to mention a “refreshing glass of beer.”
Beer In Ads #2328: Morale, Buttonhole Flower
Wednesday’s Independence Day ad is by the Brewing Industry Foundation, from 1942, part of a series of ads the beer industry undertook during World War 2 under the title “Morale is a Lot of Little Things.” It was one of the first concerted efforts by the brewing industry after they were getting back on their feet after prohibition finally ended around a decade before. The series tried to show support for the troops and help with morale at home. And it must have worked, because the campaign won awards at the time. In this ad, a man is having a so-so day until a woman sells him a flower for the buttonhole in his jacket. And that perked him right up, a little thing, but it keeps you smiling, just like a “refreshing glass of beer.”
