Wednesday’s ad is for Blatz Old Heidelberg Beer, from 1940. It’s a “Special Pilsener Brewer,” which apparently means “it’s not bitter; it’s not sweet — it’s just want you want.” But I especially love their rationale for why you’ll love their “new clear glass bottle.” It “let’s you see what you’re drinking.”
Today in 1997, US Patent 5664702 A was issued, an invention of Christopher E. Beauchamp, for his “Foot Operated Beer Keg Pressurizer.” Here’s the Abstract:
A foot-operated beer-keg pressurizer has a floor-based foot pump (1) with which air is pumped through a pressure tube (17) from a variably remote beer keg (2) to a keg faucet (9) that is attachable to conventional beer-keg connectors (6). A beer tube (8) extended from the keg faucet in the variably remote beer keg has a beer tap (7) that is preferably a squeeze or push-button type. Foot operation of the floor-based foot pump by a user or by a separate person frees both hands of a user for filling beer-drinking containers.
What is it with Alcohol Justice insulting people recently? A few days ago they called people around the world “idiotic,” and now they’re referring to the elderly as “geezers?” What happened to being an organization holding the alcohol industry to impossibly high standards? Or don’t those apply in the first person, only in the third person? Sadly, that’s probably the answer as whatever they do is championed as correct and everything — and I do mean everything — that alcohol companies and anyone who might choose to drink alcohol are doing is considered wrong.
So — sigh — what is it this time? AJ tweeted out the following this morning:
“Some geezers are hitting the hootch too hard bbc.in/1PQelb1 Better wake-up before it’s too late!”
The link takes you to an article posted on the BBC‘s health website, with the far more gentle title, Elderly people warned over alcohol consumption. So why exactly is AJ calling the elderly “geezers?” According to Wikipedia, “Geezer is a slang term for a man. In the UK, it can carry the connotation of either age or eccentricity. In the US, the term typically refers to a cranky old man.” In AJ’s tweet, of course, they show three elderly women sipping what looks like wine, champagne and a cocktail, not “hootch,” or even it’s more common spelling “hooch” (oh, AJ how many mistakes can you pack into one tweet?). Yes, hooch can mean any “alcoholic liquor,” but it usually refers to “inferior or illicit whiskey,” not the good stuff. So calling these three women geezers drinking hooch doesn’t really work, does it?
The BBC article itself, naturally, is problematic, as well. The headline is that they found that “one in five people over 65 who drink” (so only 20% and only 20% of the elderly population that are not teetotalers, meaning less than 20%) is drinking their “hooch” at “unsafe levels.”
First of all, those levels they’re talking about in the UK are arbitrary and were simply made up, as was revealed in 2007, twenty years after the guidelines for the UK had been set in stone in 1987. One committee member who’d worked on the guidelines remembered that they were simply “plucked out of the air” and had “no basis in science” whatsoever, which I detailed at the time in Target: Alcohol. So it’s pretty hard to get worked up about elderly people, and a minority of them at that, who are not following capricious, arbitrary guidelines that were simply made up.
But the kicker, for me, is that final admonishment in AJ’s tweet: “Better wake-up before it’s too late!” To which my first through was exactly the same as the nearly 300 commenters to the BBC article. “Or what?” After working my entire lifetime, and finally reaching retirement age, finally able to do the things I want to do, the last thing I want to hear is “go easy, darling, mustn’t have too much to drink” from … well, from anybody. Seriously, unless I’m falling down, incoherently drunk every single day at age 70, it’s nobody’s business but my own and Alcohol Justice and their ilk can go f*@k themselves. I’m going to enjoy my twilight years, if I can, and if I make it that far on my own, I think I can manage without their unwanted intrusion and advice. They don’t care about my health, they care about controlling people and telling them what’s good for them because they know better than you and me. It’s the true national pastime.
But what I’m still unclear about is why they’ve chosen to begin attacking people with insults and epithets, people who’ve done nothing more than live their lives as they see fit, but apparently differently from how AJ believes they should live. That’s certainly not how you win people over to your way of thinking. It just pisses them off.
Today in 1986, US Patent 4610888 A was issued, an invention of James Teng and John H. Dokos, assigned to the Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., for their “Beer Foam Enhancing Process and Apparatus.” Here’s the Abstract:
A beer foaming process and apparatus in which a smooth stable foam is formed by intimately admixing a nitrogen containing gas, preferably air, by a Venturi effect in a nozzle positioned on the beer tap. The nozzle has a mixing chamber with a perforated plate at its intake end to divide the flow of beer from the keg into smaller streams of higher velocity in the mixing chamber, intake ports in the side walls of the chamber for admitting gas into the chamber, and a screen of 30 to 200 mesh at the discharge end of the nozzle to form the stable foam discharged from the chamber.
Tuesday’s ad is another one for Schlitz, from 1946. Old or young, smart women apparently put bottles of Schlitz in baskets to buy at the grocery store. That, apparently, is “menu foresight.” But I love this bit of wisdom. “Serving Schlitz to your guests is like bringing out your best linen or silver — it says ‘Nothing’s too good for our friends!'”
This weekend, beginning Friday September 11, the California Craft Beer Association is holding the first-of-its-kind Craft beer Summit, a two-day event in Sacramento celebrating the rise of beer in the Golden State. It should be an amazing event that if you’re a beer lover you won’t want to miss, and will include many different experiences, ending with the the largest Beer Festival ever held in California!
It’s being hailed as the California version of the “Great American Beer Festival,” and with 150 breweries pouring their beer — as many as 400 different beers (including several brewed just for the event) — it’s an apt description. The CCBA is describing the event as “the showcase event for craft beer – a premier California craft beer festival. People from all over the state (and country) can come to Sacramento to see (and taste) our thriving craft beer scene. Our beers are coveted across the nation, so here is your opportunity to try all of them!”
But it’s also much more than just a beer festival. The summit will bring together retailers, wholesalers, brewery owners, beer enthusiasts and home-brewers for an educational, hands-on experience where they will be able to see, touch, smell and taste beer. There will be Educational Seminars both days, beginning at 9:00 AM, cooking and homebrewing demonstrations, panel discussions, talks by industry pioneers and insiders (including yours truly), an Expo and much more. You can find out more about the event here, and tickets are also available online.
Still not convinced? Here’s 8 Things You Don’t Want to Miss at the California Craft Beer Summit and Brewers Showcase Beer Festival posted by the CCBA.
Today in 1885, US Patent 325979 A was issued, an invention of Fredrich Louis Sebastian, for his “Hop-Breaker.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
This invention relates to certain new and useful improvements in the construction and operation of a machine for breaking up hops preparatory to their use by the brewer.
The object of the invention is to so prepare the hops that very little time will be necessary to extract the properties of such hops when put into the hot liquor in the process of making beer, and thereby lessening the loss of the aroma in the steam arising from such liquor. By breaking the hops up I do not mean to be understood as grinding them to a powder, as if they were reduced to this condition they would be comparatively worthless to the manufacturer of beer.
Today in 1885, US Patent 326017 A was issued, an invention of John A. Button, for his “Beer-Drawing Apparatus.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
My invention relates to that class of devices by means of which beer or other analogous liquids are drawn direct from the barrel, my object being to so improve-such apparatus that the liquid drawn shall be delivered under a uniform pressure and free from all sediment or impurities. It is also my purpose to so improve the pressure-chamber that the gas which collects therein may be automatically disposed of.
And here’s the original drawing filed with the application:
Monday’s ad is for Schlitz, from 1947. Showing an illustration of a backyard barbecue, two couples are having a fine day. One of the women has brought out a tray with enough glasses and bottles of Schlitz for everyone. And boy do the other three look happy, just staring at her with smiling blank looks on their faces. The other couple look like they could be the same person. But the text is great. After a story about it takes just the right amount of seasoning to make the steak taste perfect, they suggest that “it takes a gift of genius to lure shy flavors from their hiding places,” before bringing it back to Schlitz.
Today in 1993, US Patent 5242694 A was issued, an invention of Hans Reuther, assigned to the G. Heileman Brewing Company, Inc., for his “Process For Brewing Low Carbohydrate Near Beer.” Here’s the Abstract:
A low carbohydrate near beer is produced by a brewing process utilizing brewing materials including 100% brewer’s malt with not more than a prescribed amount of dextrin malt and not more than a prescribed amount of caramel malt. The mashing, boiling and fermentation stages are controlled so that carbohydrate and calorie levels are achieved in a near beer having excellent taste and brightness.
