Brookston Beer Bulletin

Jay R. Brooks on Beer

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Make American Beer Drumpf Again

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I really hope this isn’t an April Fool’s Day prank. But even though I just saw it today, it was originally posted March 22, and it’s by a brewery that actually went through with making a beer using goat’s brains in an homage to zombies for a Walking Dead-themed beer, which in my mind increases its chances of being legitimate. Anyway, Dock Street Brewery of Philadelphia announced that they’re launching a new line of political beers to be known as the “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Drumpf” series. First up will be Short-Fingered Stout, which is described as “a bitter and delusional stout with an airy, light-colored head atop a so-so body.” Sadly there’s no timetable yet for its release. With many beer folks converging on the City of Brotherly Beer early next month, we can only hope it will be available to coincide with the Craft Brewers Conference, so we can all have a chance to “Make American Beer Drumpf Again.”

Here’s Dock Street’s press release:

Is it just us, or does this particular celebridential candidate always sound like he’s had a few too many? In his (dis)honor, Dock Street Brewery is brewing up a series of quaffable reminders to exercise your suffrage, and just dump Drumpf.

Beer has always, throughout history, been a key ingredient in the recipe for revolutionary ideas. In that spirit, we’re brewing this series to declare our disdain for Drumpf, and to extend a little nod of solidarity to our friends, fans and neighbors that also believe the country deserves better representation – on a national and international platform – in the race to be Commander in Chief. We just can’t wrap our well-coiffed heads around a candidate who encourages his supporters to attack protesters at his rallies, wants to limit access to the U.S. based on religion, and flagrantly manipulates facts and data. Oh yeah, and that ridiculous wall idea? Come on.

The first in the “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Drumpf” series will be Short-Fingered Stout, a bitter and delusional stout with an airy, light-colored head atop a so-so body. Don’t worry, its bark is worse than its bite; this big baby comes in at a somewhat conservative 4.5% ABV.

Release date will be announced soon, during which we’ll host a meeting of the minds and palates at our brewpub where guests are encouraged to debate, discuss, and toast to free speech and democracy.

All are invited and welcomed, no matter what your political views are. Except one person…

Go home man, you’re Drumpf.

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Artwork: Alexis Anne Grant for Dock Street Brewery

Patent No. 1299379A: Wild-Oat And Barley Separator

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Today in 1919, US Patent 1299379 A was issued, an invention of Robert J. Owens, for his “Wild-Oat and Barley Separator.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:

The object of my invention is to provide a separator which will dispense entirely with fans and air currents and wire sieves and of such devices as flannels, carpets and the like, frequently found in machines of this type for separating and grading grains.

A further object is to provide a machine by means of which not only wild oats but small, imperfect kernels of grain can be separated from the full, plump kernels that are suitable for seed.

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Beer In Ads #1867: Facts Versus Fallacies #67

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Thursday’s ad is another one for the Pennsylvania State Brewers Association, from 1915, No. 67 in series they did from 1915-17 called “Facts Versus Fallacies.” I have no idea how many were done but some of the them are numbered into low triple digits, suggesting there were a lot of them, all in an effort to stop Prohibition from happening and win over support for beer. This ad, marked “67,” and is about how in every state that already had a prohibition in alcohol, it was failing miserably, and was impossible to enforce. In Alabama, in one city alone — Birmingham — it was estimated that 500 packages of alcohol were delivered every single day to residents who’d ordered them from out of state. So yeah, that worked.

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Patent No. 2633251A: Palletizer

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Today in 1953, US Patent 2633251 A was issued, an invention of John K. Bruce, for his “Palletizer.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:

My invention provides a completely automatic machine for loading pallets. Empty pallets may be fed into one end of the machine, and cartons or boxes fed in from the side and loaded pallets may be delivered out the other end. Not only does my palletizer accurately layer and stack the cartons and boxes, but in addition arranges non-cubic boxes in any selected pattern so that the boxes of different layers will interlock or overlap and provide a stable and rigid stack on the pallet.

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Patent No. 2035962A: Brew Kettle

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Today in 1936, US Patent 2035962 A was issued, an invention of Alvin Hock, for his “Brew Kettle.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:

My invention consists in providing a closed kettle or receptacle preferably having a downwardly converging bottom provided with a central outlet therein and having above said bottom a series of U-tubes extending into and out of the kettle and connected to steam inlet and exhaust outlet tubes whereby steam will circulate through said U-tubes which are immersed in the liquid and whereby heat is given off to said liquid from the entire surface of said tubes, so that all of the heat thus transferred is fully utilized.

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Beer In Ads #1866: Facts Versus Fallacies #61

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Wednesday’s ad is another one for the Pennsylvania State Brewers Association, from 1915, No. 61 in series they did from 1915-17 called “Facts Versus Fallacies.” I have no idea how many were done but some of the them are numbered into low triple digits, suggesting there were a lot of them, all in an effort to stop Prohibition from happening and win over support for beer. This ad, marked “61,” and is about a canard that’s still used as propaganda by prohibitionists today, which is that people who drink alcohol are criminals and that one leads to the other. But even statistics at that time (as today) did not support that claim, and in fact a majority of incarcerated people were not alcoholics. They go on citing several experts of the day, all with he same opinion, that drinking alcohol does not cause someone to become a criminal, despite the ludicrous cries of the anti-alcohol wingnuts.

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Patent No. 3175912A: Synthetic Organic Chemical Preservative For Beer

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Today in 1965, US Patent 3175912 A was issued, an invention of John B. Bockelmann and Frede B. Strandskov, assigned to Schaefer Brewing Co., for their “Synthetic Organic Chemical Preservative For Beer.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:

The present invention relates generally to the control of micro-biological growth in finished packaged beer and ale with a synthetic, organic chemical preservative of the general formula:

Wherein R is an aliphatic hydrocarbon radical; X is either a hydrogen atom (H), an alkali metal, e.g., sodium (Na) and potassium (K), or an alkaline earth metal, e.g., cal cium (Ca); and 11 is an integer equal to the valence of X. More particularly, this invention is directed to the preservation of finished beer with a chemical preservative of the Formula 1 wherein R is saturated hydrocarbon chain. This invention also encompasses a mixture of compounds of Formula 1 as a chemical preservative for finished packaged beer and ale.

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Beer In Ads #1865: Facts Versus Fallacies #57

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Tuesday’s ad is another one for the Pennsylvania State Brewers Association, from 1915, No. 57 in series they did from 1915-17 called “Facts Versus Fallacies.” I have no idea how many were done but some of the them are numbered into low triple digits, suggesting there were a lot of them, all in an effort to stop Prohibition from happening and win over support for beer. This ad, marked “57,” and is about yet another false claim by the Anti-Saloon League at their annual convention in Atlantic City, when they claimed that a report offered showed that thousands of people in Pennsylvania were giving up drinking. Sadly, this still happens frequently today, and the report showed no causation and was shown out of context. Statistics from another source, the I.R.S., contradicts their claim, of course.

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Patent No. DE3235563A1: Siphon Bottle Filling Apparatus

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Today in 1984, US Patent DE 3235563 A1 was issued, an invention of Karl Horst Knopf, for his “Siphon Bottle Filling Apparatus.” Here’s the Abstract:

Traditional German siphon bottles are for the most part filled at the publican’s beer dispensing tap. In order to make possible filling without foaming and release of carbon dioxide, according to the invention a filling closure has been created which allows the bottle, prior to filling, to be put under pressure by means of a hand pump attached to the filling closure. No foam can form as the beer flows in, since the beer enters under counter-pressure and cannot expand. To regulate further overpressure building up as the beer flows in, a vent screw is provided.

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Beer In Ads #1864: Facts Versus Fallacies #55

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Monday’s ad is another one for the Pennsylvania State Brewers Association, from 1915, No. 55 in series they did from 1915-17 called “Facts Versus Fallacies.” I have no idea how many were done but some of the them are numbered into low triple digits, suggesting there were a lot of them, all in an effort to stop Prohibition from happening and win over support for beer. This ad, marked “55,” and is again about Maine and especially how Massachusetts is accused of supplying alcohol to them, demonstrating more evidence that the local option — which is really a “local prohibition” — cannot work and should be abandoned. And that’s from people within the Anti-Saloon League at one of their own meetings, causing some amount of embarrassment to the prohibitionist position.

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