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Jay R. Brooks on Beer

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June 16, 2012 By Jay Brooks

beer-word
I’ve never been sure if I love words because I’m a writer, or if I became a writer because of my love for words. Either way, as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated by words, their origins, their shades of meaning, the way they roll off the tongue, their rhythm … well, you get the idea. I’m a word freak. So I’m always thrilled when I discover a new one, or at least one new to me.

This one’s a portmanteau, which is essentially a word that “is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes into one new word.” “Blog” is one you probably use every day. Other examples include “breathalyzer,” “brunch,” “camcorder,” “ginormous,” “motel,” “smog” and “spork.” Some catch on, while others don’t quite make it into everyday usage. There are a lot of portmanteaus in computing and the internet, and Wikipedia has a long list of them.

One of my favorite magazines is Mental Floss, which is a great one for feeding your inner trivia geek. They recently had a blog post entitled 12 Really Forced Portmanteaux That Didn’t Catch On that included some that you can easily see why they didn’t become popular. Words like “locorestive” (Inclined to remain in one place) or “saccharhinoceros” (A lumbering person with an excessively effusive or affectedly sentimental manner) don’t exactly roll off the tongue. Some of the portmanteaus on the list are downright funny.

But here’s the one that caught my eye: alcoholiday, combining alcohol and holiday. It was defined as “leisure time spent drinking” when it first “appeared in a 1913 New York Times story titled ‘New Arrivals in Portmanteau Land.'”

It may not be the most elegant word, but there are certainly holidays that fit that description to a tee. St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo and New Years’ Eve seem obvious alcoholidays. And our Independence Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day and even Halloween could easily be included.

Maybe it’s time to bring back alcoholiday?

Filed Under: Editorial, Just For Fun Tagged With: Holidays, Words

Father’s Day Fest This Sunday

June 12, 2012 By Jay Brooks

fathers
You know what you really want for Father’s Day: beer! And since it’s your day, how can your family say no? And now you really can get what you really want. Here’s how:

The Brewing Network’s Winter Brews Fest has spawned off-spring, and what better time to celebrate that than a Father’s Day-themed Summer Fest! The city of Concord and the East Bay- based craft beer radio company have joined forces once again to throw beer lovers a family friendly day, complete with a chili cook off, live music, an antique fair, a corvette car show, and more!

Unlike its January counter-part, this inaugural Summer Fest is open to all ages, with those over 21 getting a chance to sample dozens of different brews from local breweries such as 21st Amendment, Bear Republic, Creek Monkey, Deschutes, Drake’s, Firestone Walker, Heretic, Lagunitas, Ommegang, Stone, Uncommon Brewers, and more.

The Brewing Network’s 2012 Summer Fest will be held at Todos Santos Plaza in Concord, CA, on Sunday, June 17, 2012 from noon to 4pm. Rain or (what’s more likely) shine, they’ve got you covered, all you have to do is bring your fathers, surrogate or other, and give them a Father’s Day to remember. And with Concord BART just two blocks away, this event is bound to entice beer lovers from around the Bay to enjoy a responsible day celebrating Dad!

Tickets are $40 pre-sale and $50 at the gate and include unlimited tastes of beer, while-supplies-last chili, and a commemorative glass for the first 4,000 guests. Proceeds from the event will go to the Kiwanis Club and Contra Costa County Fire Department charities. For more information on the event, and to buy tickets please visit BNsummerfest.eventbrite.com.

Remember it’s your day. When they ask how you want to spend it, repeat after me. The Brewing Network’s Summer Fest on Father’s Day this Sunday.

BN-Fathers-day-fest-2012

Filed Under: Beers, Breweries, Events, Just For Fun, News Tagged With: Announcements, Beer Festivals, Holidays

A Tipping Tutorial

June 8, 2012 By Jay Brooks

percentage
Hospitality Management Schools sent me this interesting, and helpful, interactive guide to tipping. I confess that while I’m pretty comfortable tipping at restaurants and bars, I’ve never been quite sure how much to tip my barber or the pizza delivery guy.

The embed code for the tip guide doesn’t seem to be working (I keep getting an error code about hot having authorized access despite the graphic having a button giving you he embed code) so here’s a link directly to the guide: Tipping, How To Respond To Hospitality.

Under the notes for tipping waiters, they suggest that even bad service deserves at least a 10% tip. I’m not sure about that one. I understand that sometimes poor service may be out of the hands of the waitstaff, but I can’t abide rewarding certain behaviors. If a waiter is open and tells me there’s a problem with the kitchen, or someone’s out sick and he or she has more territory to cover, I’m happy to take that into account and be understanding. If they’re pleasant in the face of problems and act like decent human beings (the golden rule) then I’ll agree with HMS’s advice. But if they’re simply inattentive, rude, surly or obnoxious, then I don’t see how giving them 10% is fair to anybody.

The last time I was at GBBF, the pub where I was staying was in the old meat packing area of London — Smithfield Market — and Stephen Beaumont (who I was traveling with) and I were excited to get a table at Fergus Henderson’s restaurant (author of “The Whole Beast”). It was very expensive but we thought it was worth checking out. And the food was incredible, but the experience was all but ruined by one of the worst service experiences I’ve ever had. Our waiter could not have been more condescending. He practically dripped sarcasm when Stephen starting exploring beer pairings with him, as if he didn’t even want to deign discussing beer with meat. How gauche. And so I can’t agree that such a person deserves even a modest tip when their actions not only don’t enhance a meal, but actively effect it negatively, such that the experience is made worse directly by their job performance. Service that bad is, mercifully, somewhat rare, but it has happened to me more than a few times. Under most circumstances, I’d agree that service that’s just mediocre or passable does deserve at least 10%. After all, I understand they’re just trying to make a living, and also everybody has a bad day. But truly bad service does not, at least in my opinion. What do you think?

Anyway, enough of my ranting, here’s their introduction to this guide from the school’s blog:

A huge part of the hospitality and service industry is gratuity. Gratuity and how much to tip service workers has always been a highly debated topic as it should be. Many service workers make the majority of their income on tips alone. Becoming a manager at a hotel or a spa, it will be very important to understand how workers get paid and how to structure tipping at your institution to keep your employees happy as well as keeping the company running smoothly.

And with tipping varying so widely from country to country and state to state even, it is hard to have a consistent system of tipping. With all the debate that surrounds gratuity, it seems that most people still don’t know what the correct amount to tip is. Is it 15% or is it 20%? $1 or $2? From airport to take out, this interactive guide will help people determine how much to give to in the service industry and hospitality field.

And interesting, they had this little tidbit under the History of Tipping:

When the custom of tipping made its way to the United States, many people weren’t too happy about it. In the late 1890s, a movement began against tipping as Americans believed tipping allowed service workers to be dependent on the higher class. An anti-tipping bill ultimately failed due to protests from both employers and service workers.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun, Related Pleasures Tagged With: Pubs, Statistics

The Formula For Beer

June 7, 2012 By Jay Brooks

film
I have my Tivo set to look for the keyword “beer” and recently it taped the 1933 comedy film What — No Beer?, which I hadn’t watched until now. The plot of the film is essentially about two people who think they can get rich by being the first to sell beer just as prohibition is ending, if they can just figure out how to make it. There’s a funny scene where the two stars — Buster Keaton and Jimmy Durante — discuss how it’s brewed.

Elmer J. Butts (Buster Keaton): “How do you make beer?”

Jimmy Potts (Jimmy Durante): “Oh, I got the formula. An old German wash woman gave it to me. Take 5 gallons of water, 1 cup of malt extract, 3 spoonfuls of hop, 1 small cup of yeast. Mix in one large crock.”

Sounds pretty easy. I wonder why everybody doesn’t do it. It’s a goofy, if only occasionally funny, movie but worth it just to see the brewing scenes.

WHAT-NO-BEER

Here’s the plot summary from the iMDb:

Although he has never met her, Elmer Butts loves Hortense secretly and from afar. He dreams of making a million dollars so he can buy her a Rolls automobile and marry her. With prohibition apparently on the verge of ending, Elmer’s friend Jimmy Potts gets an idea to make them both rich by opening a brewery just before the legalization of alcoholic beverages. Their timing is off, and the police raid them, but their inept brewing has created a beer with no alcohol, so they are let off. But it has also resulted in a cheaply made beer, and bootlegger Spike Moran realizes that he can vastly increase his profits by partnering with Elmer and Jimmy. But none of them reckons with the competitor, another bootlegger, gangster Butch Lorado. Butch has a girlfriend … Elmer’s dream girl, Hortense.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: Film, Humor

A Little Love From Philly Beer Week

June 6, 2012 By Jay Brooks

philly-beer
A native of Pennsylvania, Philly Beer Week is my second favorite beer week (after our own SF Beer Week, of course). Since attending the very first PBW, I’ve tried to come back every other year, which should have been this year. Alas, I have a book due at the end of next month, and I didn’t feel I could spare the time to frolic (ahem, I mean work) in the City of Brotherly Love.

The Homebrew Chef, Sean Paxton, is out there right now doing a beer dinner, and my good friend, fellow beer blogger Bryan Kolesar — who writes the Brew Lounge, sent me the photo below (taken by the incomparable Jennie Hatton) of Sean, Bryan and the Hammer of Glory. Thanks to Bryan’s keen fashion sense, at least I can be there in spirit. Thanks guys, I sure wish I could be there with you.

philly-bryan-hammer

Filed Under: Events, Just For Fun Tagged With: Beer Weeks, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Photography

Secrets Of Nature: Brewster’s Magic

June 2, 2012 By Jay Brooks

pathe
Here’s an interesting old video from 1933. It’s from the British Pathe Archives, from the “Secrets of Nature” series entitled Brewster’s Magic. It was a British Instructional Film, photographed by F. Percy Smith, with Editing and Commentary by Mary Field and “Musical setting” by W. Hodgson.

bm-01

The 8-minute black and white film shows time lapse photography of hops and barley growing plus microscopic images, as well. Here’s how they describe the film:

Hand pump being pulled in a pub. Hop root. The eyes are pointed out with a pencil. Time lapse photography of a hop shoot growing. C/U of the claws on the stem of the plant. Plant grows. The claws help the hop plant to twist its way around a smooth surface. Hop flowers growing on a male hop plant. Female hop plant produces flowers. We see them grow through time lapse. Comment on the voiceover about flowers being disappointed spinsters as they will not be fertilised. The flowers continue to grow. C/U of the sticky substance that grows on the petals. Lupelin (sp?) highly magnified. This is the substance that gives flavour and aroma to beer.

Hop garden. Barley ripening in the fields. C/U of barley submerged in water. Time lapse of the barley absorbing water. Barley puts out shoots in time lapse. The maltster turns them upside down to stop them from growing too quickly. Water supply is cut off and the barley withers. Graphic representation of the barley shoot. Animation. Maltster kills the barley grain when it has produced digestive fluid but not had time to use it. Grains are mashed up in hot water to make malt. Men roll barrels along in courtyard of brewery. C/U of yeast cells under a microscope beside a human hair. Moving yeast cells. Cells separate. Fermentation. Diagram of a molecule of sugar. Animated letters. Solution under the microscope. Bubbles are formed.

A pint of beer is pulled in a pub. Shot of man in flat cap drinking beer from a pewter tankard.

bm-02

It’s a cool time capsule and definitely worth checking out.

bm-03

My only quibble is that despite it being almost 80 years old, Pathe still asserts copyright on it. Which is fine, in and of itself, even if I generally disagree with how long copyrights now tend to run. But for some reason, they think it’s reasonable to charge you a whopping £50 ($77) to buy the 8-minute video, and that’s just for a download of it — no DVD or case or artwork, though they graciously will allow you to burn it to your own DVD. How thoughtful. Anyway, as a result, it can’t be embedded and viewed here. Fortunately, you can at least watch it at the Pathe website. Enjoy.

Also, there appear to be a wealth additional historic videos on both beer and hops that look like you could lose an entire day exploring.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun Tagged With: barley, History, Hops, UK, Video

Bovine Beer Drinkers

May 26, 2012 By Jay Brooks

cows
It seems we’re not the only mammals with a taste for beer. In the small Massachusetts town of Boxford a few days ago, six young cows escaped from their pen and set out on a night of partying. Lured by the music of a college graduation party down the road, they crashed the party and immediately went for the beer.

beer-cows-1

According to the Boxford Police, via Gawker:

Being uninvited didn’t seem to bother the kine, which helped itself to a few cold ones. “They went right for the beer,” said Lt. James Riter. “And then when one was done, they’d knock another one over and take care of that beer.”

And the local newspaper, the Eagle-Tribune, reported that the cows seemed to prefer Bud Light over Miller Lite.

Watch the full story below.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun, News Tagged With: Massachusetts, Oddities

Next Session Pales In Comparison

May 16, 2012 By Jay Brooks

session-the
For our 64th Session, our host, Carla Companion — a.k.a. The Beer Babe — who these days is writing at Beer Utopia, among others. She’s posted her Session announcement at both The Beer Babe and Beer Utopia, and it looks like you can leave a comment with your Session contribution on either page. Her topic, Pale in Comparison, is a return to our roots with a focus on a particular style of beer: Pale Ale. Here’s how she explains her plan:

What is the one beer style usually makes up the first position in the sample flight, but yet is usually the one that we never get really excited about? The Pale Ale.

While this style serves as the foundation to its big-hoppy-brother the India Pale Ale, lately “Pale Ale” has become a throwaway term. I hear bartenders and servers using it to describe everything from Pilsners to unfiltered wheat beers (I wish I was kidding).

Whether American (typically a bit hoppier) or English (a little more malty), these brews can be complex, interesting and tasty, and are all too often fast-forwarded through in a tasting or left as the “eh, guess I’ll have a pale ale” decision.

Your mission — if you choose to accept it — is to seek out and taste two different pale ales. Tell us what makes them special, what makes them forgettable, what makes them the same or what makes them different.

schlafly-pale-ale

So that sounds like a fun task. She’s right about Pale Ales getting overlooked these days. It used to be one of the most popular styles. In the early days of the microbrewery, everybody had a pale ale. So stay out the sun — and keep your complexion pale — and
be here June 1 to tell us about your pale drinking experiences.

Filed Under: Beers, Just For Fun, The Session Tagged With: Announcements, Blogging

The Lagunitas Beer Circus Is Coming To Town Again

May 15, 2012 By Jay Brooks

lagunitas-circle
This weekend — Sunday May 20 to be exact — the circus is once again coming to the town of Petaluma as the fourth annual Lagunitas Beer Circus will be held on the grounds of the Lagunitas Brewery. If you haven’t been to the beer circus before, it’s one of the most amazing events of the beer festival season. As their press release promises; “Come One, Come All to Petaluma! Witness death-defying aerialists acts, be amazed by human marvels, laugh at outrageous clowns, get thrilled by exotic burlesque dancers, head-spinning sideshows and so much more to dazzle your mind.”

Lagunitas Beer Circus Girl IPA closeup

Tickets are a reasonable $40, which includes gets you a commemorative glass and 3 tokens good for three 16oz. beers, but you can always buy additional beers. Tickets can be be purchased at either online, by phone at 707.769.4495 or at the Lagunitas Brewery Schwag Shop, located on the same spot as where the circus will take place: 1280 N. McDowell in Petaluma. The event is for adults only, goes from 1:00-6:00 p.m., and will benefit the Petaluma Music Festival and Music In Schools.

The circus acts and musical groups performing on Sunday include the Vau de Vire Society, the Extra Action Marching Band, The Moral Minority, The Ferocious Few, the Sour Mash Hug Band, Wanderlust Circus, Kehoe Nation, Cyclecide, artist Neal Barbosa painting live, “Bed of Nails, Roller Girls, Sword Swallowers, Snake Dancers, Burlesque Dancers, Contortionists … and so much more!”

But wait, there’s more, here’s the food and beer listing from the press release:

Great food! Beyond the Glory (wings, pork sliders, pork shanks), Extreme Pizza, Hog Island Oysters, Bros BBQ (bbq & paella), Sift (cupcakes), Roy’s @ the Yard (hot dogs), Tres Hombres (burritos, tacos), Toad in the Hole (bangers on a bun) Cotton Candy, and Those Fabulous Frickle Brothers… and much more!

Great Beer! Lagunitas, Moylan’s, Marin, Russian River, 3rd St. Aleworks, Stumptown, 21st Amendment, Moonlight, Dempsey’s, Anchor Brewing, North Coast, Iron Springs, Napa Smith, Henhouse Brewing, Palo Alto Brewing, Sonoma Springs, and Ace Cider.

LagunitasBeerCircus2012_poster

Filed Under: Breweries, Events, Just For Fun, News Tagged With: Announcements, Bay Area, California

Session #63: The Beer Moment

May 4, 2012 By Jay Brooks

stopwatch1
Our 63rd Session is hosted by Pete Brown from the UK, and as his Session falls on Star Wars Day (May 4, “May the Fourth,” “May the fourth be with you”) he’s decided on a similarly cheeky topic: The Beer Moment. Read his entire stream of consciousness or the abridged version below.

I write to try to encourage other people to share the simple joy of beer as much as I do, to switch on people who drink beer but don’t particularly care about it that much, to suggest to them that there’s so much more they might enjoy. No one says you have to do it this way, and no one ever made me the spokesperson for beer. It’s just how I decided to write, in the same way others decided to write in an opinionated way about what they love, and what they hate.

So in that spirit, my choice of topic — with 62 topics already covered — is this: simply, the Beer Moment.

What is it?

Well, what is it to you? What does that phrase evoke for you?

That’s the most important thing here. Switch off and float downstream, what comes to mind? Don’t analyse it — what are the feelings, the emotions?

I’ve been thinking about this quite a lot recently, because I’ve been talking about it to various people who are working hard to try to improve the image of beer in the UK. Because whether we articulate it or not, whether we drink vile, sunstruck Corona or barrel aged imperial stout brewed with weasel shit, it’s about the moment far more than the liquid itself. The only people who disagree with me on this are people I wouldn’t want to share a beer with.

The moment — for me — is relaxation, reward, release, relief and refreshment. It’s a moment to savour, a moment of mateship, potential, fulfilment, anticipation, satisfaction, and sheer bliss.

It’s different from the moment you drink wine or spirits — it’s more egalitarian, more sociable. It’s not just about the flavour, nor the alcohol. It’s about the centuries of tradition and ritual, the counterpoint to an increasingly stressful life, and the commonality, the fact that it means the same thing to so many.

At least — I think it does. What does it mean to you?

session_logo_all_text_200

I was especially taken by Pete’s instructions, where he paraphrased the opening line of the Beatles’ Tomorrow Never Knows (one of my favorite lesser-known Beatles songs), which in full is “Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream.” The phrase itself is from the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and that sounds like an excellent place to start; relaxed and floating, mind free of distractions — beer in hand.

The “beer moment” is for me the essence of what makes beer one of my life’s passions, distilled — or perhaps more correctly fermented — down to its core ingredients. In many ways, as Don Younger famously quipped, “It’s not about the beer, it’s about the beer.” And as inscrutable as that may sound, I believe Don was on to something. While beer is, of course, the liquid glue that binds us all together, it’s the opportunities and potential that sharing that beer creates that is the essence of the beery moment for me. Beer is the great facilitator. I makes so many other things possible, most of them entirely positive. If that’s starting to sound too zen or new agey, don’t despair. Let me put it another way.

My job often requires me to drink beer alone, which is far from my favorite thing to do. It’s perhaps the worst way to have a beer, even though it’s sometimes necessary. Alone, beer is stripped of all its intangibles, its raison d’etre. You can evaluate the constituent parts, its construction, even how they come together as a finished beer. In other words, on a technical basis. And that’s how you should begin, but there must be a discussion waiting at the end of that process. I just finished judging the World Beer Cup in San Diego this week, and even in this august setting, after silently scoring the beer and making notes, a lively discussion follows each flight. That’s as it should be, whether in a professional judging setting or the local pub. It’s the sharing of the beer that makes the moment.

The number of ways, places and settings in which beer can be shared is limitless. It has adapted itself to virtually all societies, civilizations and communities since, almost quite literally, the beginning of time. It has been an integral part of countless ritual moments, both solemn and casual; a part of people’s lives from birth to death, used to celebrate both moments and many more in between. Of all of the moments in our lives — something on the order of 39,420,000 minutes for the average person — those that involve sharing a beer, those “beer moments,” are infinitely more enjoyable, more memorable and will be the ones that we remember on our deathbed. In a sense, with a few notable exceptions, the beer moments are the ones that truly matter most.

That’s at least in part why I’m also so obsessed with holidays. They provide yet more reasons to celebrate, and celebration almost always means sharing a beer. Though in truth I believe even no reason at all is a perfectly fine reason to share a beer with a friend, and indeed two friends coming together is in and of itself reason enough, I’ve always enjoyed finding new reasons to celebrate life. And why not, I’ve only got — fingers crossed — a few decades left as a beer drinker, and there is much to celebrate, many more beers to share with friends and family. I want as many of the moments left to me as possible to be “beer moments.”

Lagunitas-R2D2
I love this very appropriate artwork that a Lagunitas fan sent into them, and which they posted on their Facebook page.

Filed Under: Beers, Editorial, Just For Fun, The Session Tagged With: Blogging, Philosophy

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