Saturday’s ad is for Miller High Life, from 1949. I guess “distinctive” is certainly one of the words you could use to describe this scene, but to me she looks a little bit too much like Meryl Streep’s Mom if she had been in Terry Gilliam’s film “Brazil.” All she really needs is a shoe on her head to seal the deal, but I suppose that ginormous Rorschach-test brooch works just as well.
Today in 1944, US Patent PP644 P was issued, an invention of Frank J. Miller, for his “Hop Plant.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
The present invention relates to definite and extensive improvements in hops of the Bohemian type. There is no known hop which is at is fluffy in comparison. Develops from a small all similar. The variety resulted from definite burr rather than from the usual type of breeding efforts made by Frank J. Miller and 5 blossoms. Grows in closely bunched clusters originated by crossing a wild English Cluster hop from the ground to the ends of the branches. with the Bohemian type hop. The cross took Lupulin content.-The lupulin content is place a number of years ago and has since been much higher than average.
developed and asexually reproduced from the Resin content. Very high in total resin root. The characteristics of the variety have tent, as compared With proved to be firmly fixed Bohemian hop as well as other types.
The original illustrations which make a part Flavor and aroma.Has an excellent aroma, of this application show typical fruits and leaves and no sulphur being required in the drying approximately their true colors and slightly ing process makes it possible to keep out reduced in size. certain foreign flavors often present in This new variety has a great number of out other hops. standing characteristics among which are its Dry-out. Being a firm, compact berry with healthy growth, small moisture loss, high lupulin low moisture content in the green stage, content, early ripening and resistance to downy the loss from dry-out is 60% to 65%, where mildew and red spider. A chemical analysis made as in any other variety it is 75% to 80%. by the Agricultural Experiment Station at Ge- Maturity. Fruit ripens between the last of neva, N. Y., shows total resins one-half greater July and about August 10th, which is from in my new variety than in the regular European 15 to 20 days earlier than the regular Bohemian type hops grown in their experimental Bohemian type. This factor removes the variety from competition at harvest time.
Today in 1933, US Patent 1928987 A was issued, an invention of Albin H. Warth, assigned to the Crown Cork & Seal Co., for his “Bottle Cap.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
My invention relates to bottle caps, and more particularly to improvements in bottle caps of the edge gasket type.
Friday’s ad is for Pabst Blue Ribbon, from, believe it or not 2011. It was an entry to a t-short contest, and was eventually offered as an iron-on. But it certainly looks older, and captures the spirit of Pabst’s earlier advertising nicely.
Today in 1962, US Patent 3056436 A was issued, an invention of Paul R. Fechheimer and Warren H. Harlan, assigned to the Cherry Burrell Corp., for their “Filling Head for Filling Machines.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
A principal object of the invention is the provision of a filling spout structure having a retractable filling stem adapted, upon the presentation of a container to be filled to the filling spout structure, to enter the container and assume a lowermost position in which the bottom or free end of the stem lies in close proximity to the bottom of the container being filled, whereupon as the liquid product is introduced into the container the filling stem will automatically retract.
A further object of the invention is the provision of a retractable filling stem of the character described which coacts with a vacuum tube forming a part of the filling spout structure, the vacuum tube serving to establish a predetermined height of fill for the container.
A further object of the invention is the provision of a filling spout structure having a retractable filling stem adapted to be locked in retracted position, the filling spout structure incorporating means responsive to the presentation of a container thereto for releasing the locking means so as to permit the filling stem to enter the container there beneath.
Today in 1934, US Patent 1975241 A was issued, an invention of John C. Sampson and Phil J. Werber, for his “Drinking Vessel.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
In serving cold or hot beverages, it is desirable to maintain the beverage at the ‘required temperature when set. on the table before the consumer. In serving ice-cold beverages, such as beer, the container, which may be a glass, a stein or the like, has to be chilled before using and has to be replaced after each use since it absorbs heat and becomes warm and renders the beverage warm and flat. Furthermore, condensation takes place on the exterior of such vessel and renders the table on which it stands damp and unpleasant in appearance. The glasses or steins are heavy and are liable to break, while copper mugs and the like require constant polishing and cleaning.
One of the main objects of the invention is the provision of a drinking vessel having insulated walls thereby maintaining the beverage contained therein aty its proper temperature for a long period of time without requiring replacing or chilling of the vessel after each use and without causing condensation on the surface of the vessel. Another object of the invention is to provide a drinking vessel having insulated walls to preserve the original temperature of the beverage, said vessel being so constructed that. it is light in weight, is practically indestructible, and can be readily cleaned.
Further objects of the invention are to provide a drinking vessel having an inner member or cup and having an outer shell member, said members being held in spaced relation with each other and the space therebetween being filled with suitable insulating material to prevent transmission of heat between said members.
Still further objects of the invention are to provide a drinking vessel for ice-cold beverages, such as beer, comprising an inner or cup member formed of a single piece of metal and enclosed by an outer or shell member formed of formica, hard rubber, or other heat insulating material, the upper end of said inner member being turned outwardly and downwardly to t over the upper edge of said shell member and form a rubber.
Thursday’s ad is for Schlitz, from 1968. This is at least the second ad I know about where Schlitz used the game Monopoly in one of their ads, which seems strange. I love how the card table really has nowhere to set down a beer glass without disrupting the game, not to mention how each of the four people is wearing a different couple, almost as if each of them was a playing piece, too. But best of all, the wife in green smirks as her husband in orange downs his glass of beer. The other man at the table, presumably the host, in red frowns with the knowledge that his wife in blue has just given him an errand to do, even though he’s already finished his beer, too. I predict they never finished this game.
Today in 1963, US Patent 3105599 A was issued, an invention of Henry O. Hausermann, assigned to the Blitz Weinhard Co., for his “Barrel Loading.” There’s no Abstract, although in the description it includes this summary:
Thus it is an object of the invention to provide an improvided pallet construction which accommodates easy rolling of beer kegs onto the pallet and nesting of the kegs in position with the kegs snugly packed thereon.
Another object of the invention is to provide a pallet that employs a panel of relatively simple construction as a supporting means, the latter being effective to hold the bottom sides of beer kegs firmly in place and above possible contact with the forks of a forklift truck inserted beneath the pallet, and to provide such a pallet that is capable of being lifted from all sides.
Still another object of the invention is to provide a slip sheet for stacking one tier of barrels or kegs over another, such a slip sheet taking the form of a panel having cutouts effective to seat on the top sides of a lower tier of barrels and seat the lower sides of an upper tier of barrels.
Another object of the invention is to provide a pallet and Islip sheet construction that enables the stacking of barrels on their sides and in tiers, one over another, with the barrels of an upper tier aligned with the barrels of a lower tier. This is important for space reasons, as most barrels are longer than they are Wide, and many vehicles can only be fully loaded if the barrels of successive tiers are aligned and extend all in the same direction.
For the 104th Session, our host will be none other than Alan McLeod, who now holds the title for hosting The Session more times than any other human alive today. Alan, of course, writes A Good Beer Blog. For the topic, he’s extending the discussion I started a few weeks ago in The Monthly Session: Should It Continue Or Should We Let It Go? Fifteen people weighed and cast a vote, and the ayes held the day, 10 to 5. So there you have it, we’re still alive, though on life support. Alan, who magnanimously offered to step in this month, did just that, and donning his cape and wearing his matching knickers on the outside, is here to save the day. And he’s not fooling around, writing in his announcement for the October Session, Session 104: Quick! Write… And Make It Good!!, “I am hosting and you bunch of sookie babies are writing blog posts. Got it?” Got it. Read the full monty here:
The first Friday of the month is tomorrow. And no one signed up to host it. So, they called the undertaker. Me. The voice of beer blogging doom. Gloomy dour Cain to all you cheery half-lit passion-wracked Abels. See, Jay got the shakes mid-September. Got them bad. He struck by a bought of existential angst about where things were going. I understand that’s fairly common after a big batch of beer judging gigs. Bear with me. Jay gets a bit verklempt:
… I fear we may have hit a wall. With just two weeks to go before Session #105 is scheduled to take place, we have no host and no prospects for one, or so it seems. I could start asking previous hosts to step up — and perhaps I should — but that also seems a little contrary to the spirit of it being organic, something that just chugs along all by itself. I could also start begging and cajoling bloggers who have never hosted, but then again I don’t want anyone to feel obligated. It’s supposed to be fun, otherwise it won’t work. Which brings me to the elephant in the ether.
Poor lad. He’s clearly schwazzled. It’s only Session #104 for one thing. I hear Stan’s no better. He’s in a ball in the corner of the rec room now, sobbing… comforted with only the thought of upcoming affordable local post-season baseball and enough freebie liquor samples in the basement to calm the Soviet army after their victory at Stalingrad. These guys have been giving and giving and giving and what the hell do you losers do? You let them down. You heartless bastards.
So, time to suck it up. I am hosting and you bunch of sookie babies are writing blog posts. Got it? I was going to tell you to write anything you feel like whether it makes any sense or not… but then I realized that’s what you do anyway. Especially you. Yes, you!! So you are going to write about this: if we just “take the philosophical approach, that the Session has run its course” aren’t we really admitting that beer blogging is a massive failure? I say no. I say this is a fabulous way to cover up problem drinking with anti-social internet addictions. Maybe you know of another reason we should keep writing and try to make some sense of the beer and brewing world. Well, goodie for you. Write about it. Explain yourself. Because if you can’t you are really admitting (i) you’ve wasted the best part of the last decade or (ii) you live in a fantasy world where think you are a beer writer and not a beer blogger and that’s soooooo much more important… as if your friends don’t share concerned messages about you behind your back:
Linda? It’s Barry. Yes, I saw him. He still pretends he writes about alcohol as a job… she’s the strong one… poor things… where will it end?
Make it good. Leave a link in the comments when you do.
So start listening to your existential angst now. What is it telling you? There’s isn’t much time. Just a few hours. So let us know. To participate in the October Session, leave a comment to the original announcement, on Friday, October 2.
If you’re one of those people who can barley stand a bad pun, you may want to reconsider reading this post. Personally, I’m a ferment believer. I love a good pun, the more groan-inducing the better, but I have learned that there are people in the world who do not agree; and while I can’t understand them, I do try to sympathize. So be warned, weizen up and it will be smooth aleing. Hopefully, bad puns are the yeast of your problems. This post is just for Schlitz and giggles, and for what it’s wort, it will all turn out for the best. Ales well that ends well.
So the website Atlas Obscura partnered with Digg to crowdsource groan-inducing puns that businesses used in naming themselves. You’ve seen them, ones like “Hannah and Her Scissors” or “A Shoe Grows in Brooklyn.” So they put out a virtual call for submissions and got around 3,000 back, whittled down to 1,900 after eliminating duplicates. In the end, they decided that while many submissions weren’t technically puns, but also included movie allusions, homophones, and dirty words, they were funny enough and were in the same spirit so allowed many of those, too. Apparently the most submitted name was for Vietnamese noodles, “9021-Pho,” and there were also inexplicably quite a few hair salons named “Curl up and Dye.”
Then they created an interactive map with all of the punny names, which they called The Ultimate Crowdsourced Map of Punny Businesses in America. They even divided them into major categories, including Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms, Coffee shops, Doctors and Dentists, Food Trucks, Hair/Nail Salons, Pet Care, Restaurants and Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores).
Then there was one other category that caught my eye: Bar/Pubs, which even included one brewery, although I’m not sure I would have listed it. Since it was crowdsourced, I feel certain they probably missed a few, or even a lot, given how many bad or punny bar names I’ve seen over the years. Some of these name you just know had to be created after a few drinks. Do I think alcohol may have been involved? Of Coors I do.
The Full List of Pun Bar and Pub Names:
Abe’s on Lincoln, Savannah, GA
Al Smith’s Saloon, East Troy, WI
Anchor Management Bar and Grill, Oroville, CA
Bar Celona, Pasadena, CA
Bar None, San Francisco, CA
Beer and Loathing in Dundee, Omaha, NE
Beerhive Pub, Salt Lake City, UT
Brews Brothers, Galveston, TX
Brews Brothers Taproom, Murphysboro, IL
C’MON INN, Fountain, CO
Catcher in the Rye, Los Angeles, CA
Chez When Cocktail Lounge, Sedalia, MO
Dancin’ Bare, Portland, OR
Deja Brew, Wendell, MA
Devil’s Advocate, Tempe, AZ
Dew Drop Inn, Cincinnati, OH; Washington, DC; Oak Creek Canyon, AZ & New Orleans, LA
Dick’s Halfway Inn, Rosedale, MD
Dupont Italian Kitchen Bar, Washington, DC
Fumducks, Houston, TX
Gordough’s Donuts, Austin, TX
Hi Dive, San Francisco, CA
Holmes Plate,Corning, NY
John’s Plumbing, Greensboro, NC
Kegler’s, Crest Hill, IL
Lei Low, Houston, TX
Longshots, Joliet, IL
LowBrau, Sacramento, CA
Mother Muff’s, Colorado Springs, CO
Mustang Alley’s, Baltimore, MD
My Brothers Place, San Bruno, CA
Neil’s Bahr, Houston, TX
Nice Ash, Waukesha, WI
Olive Or Twist, Portland, OR & Pittsburgh, PA
Paddy O’Beers, Raleigh, NC
Pour House, Hartford, CT; Jamison, PA; Exton, PA; St Louis, MO & Sacramento, CA
Sir Vezas, Tucson, AZ
Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn, Fairbanks, AK
South Side Liquor Box, Toledo, OH
Stocks and Blondes, Chicago, IL
Stowaway Pub,Stow, OH
Swagger Inn, Lyndon Station, WI
Tequila Mockingbird, Ocean City, MD
The Big Legrowlski, Portland, OR
The Crossbar, Havertown, PA
The Crow Bar, Mount Holly, NJ
The Frosty Beaver, Cleveland, OH
The Hungry Beaver, Wrangell, AK
The Picnic Tap, Nashville, TN
The Pour House, Siren, WI; Raleigh, NC & James Island, SC
The Red, White & Brew, Hammond, LA
The Stagger Inn, Edwardsville, IL
The Tapp, Tarrytown, NY
The Tavernacle, Salt Lake City, UT
The Trappe Door, Greenville, SC
The Wine Seller, Williamsburg, VA
The Wurst Bar, Ypsilanti, MI
Thew Alibi, Coos Bay, OR
Thirst N’ Howl, Little Rock, AR
Torrey Pints, La Jolla, CA
Unwined, Discovery Bay, CA
What Ales You, Burlington, VT
Winegasm, Astoria, NY
Wish You Were Beer, Madison, AL
Wit’s Inn, New Orleans, LA
21st Amendment Brewery, San Francisco, CA
While the original list is now closed, if you know of one they missed that would fit into the spirit of this list, please add in the comments here. I feel confident there are many more. And if they included beer names, or even just hop pun names, the list would run into the thousands.
Still one of my favorite beer names.