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Stand-Up Truths

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microphone
Regular readers know I’m a huge fan of stand-up comedy, and that I often quote one of all-time favorites, Bill Hicks. In the Eighties I followed comedians like other people follow baseball players, but that ended when I got older and stopped going out every weekend. But I still love stand-up, and think it’s one of the few professions where people can tell the truth, and voice their real opinions, with little risk of retribution. Because it’s couched in humor, a lot of truth can get out that otherwise might not be expressed.

I often watch the Daily Show from the night before when I’m eating my lunch, but it’s in reruns, so I took a chance on Live at Gotham, a program showcasing new stand-up comedians. There wasn’t anybody on the show I knew by name, but I figured what the heck. As it happened, I watched the first episode from Season 1, from 2006.

The last comedian on was named Auggie Smith, originally born in Santa Rosa, California, but he grew up in Montana and now lives in Portland, Oregon. His set included a lot of material about social politics, things about smoking, gambling and drinking — generally pretty funny stuff, I thought. Below is his brilliant conclusion, an argument I’ve often made but never quite so humorously.

When we call drinking a sin, when we call smoking a sin, when we call gambling a sin it takes the responsibility off the people doing it. When we call drinking a sin it’s like saying that the problem is the booze. America, don’t blame the booze. Here’s the thing, no matter what your problems in life are, I assure you it is not the booze’s fault.

Let’s get this straight once and for all. If you’re a jackass when you’re drinking … it’s because you’re a jackass, okay. That’s what’s going on there. There ain’t no magical equation of add liquid, make jackass, no. In the insurance game it’s what they call a pre-existing condition.

Amen brother. If only the anti-alcohol folks could get that message.

Soccer, Beer & Art

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soccer
As the Round of 16 is now over and there’s a couple of days break until the quarter-finals of the World Cup, I though I’d share some pretty cool artwork involving beer and the World Cup. A new design firm in Toronto, Moxy Creative House, has created a series of seventeen posters called Cheers! For the 2010 World Cup.

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They design sixteen beer bottles to reflect each of the sixteen countries that made it to the semi-finals, including one showing all sixteen teams.

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Then there’s one each for every nation, like this one for the U.S.A.

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And here’s the Netherlands.

I asked Moxy president Danial Eckler why they used beer for the posters, and here’s what he told me. “The reason we chose beers is obvious, everyone loves to sip on one for soccer.” Also, they chose the retro look “because of soccer’s and the respective countries rich history” and the “minimalist style is a trademark of our creative company.” I just think they’re pretty cool.

Each of the posters is for sale, 11.75″ x 15.5″, for $25. Or you can get your favorite team plus the poster with all of them for $40, plus $5 shipping and handling.

Embedding is still not working, but you can see all 17 posters in my Flickr Gallery.

The Math Behind Beer Goggles

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math
This isn’t exactly news, the effect known as “beer goggles” — where after a few pints people appear more attractive — was confirmed in 2002 and the mathematical formula was announced in 2005. Whether Matt Damon wrote it out on a hallway blackboard one late night is still not known. But How Stuff Works (under the TLC Cooking imprimatur) has a nice summary of the formula.

The first study I recall seeing was in 2002, and was conducted by the University of Glasgow. Both the BBC and the Daily Collegian had the story. Then, in 2005, researchers at the University of Manchester stumbled upon the formula for how it all works. They also discovered that “alcohol is not really the only factor affecting the drunken perception of beauty. Other factors, according to their research, include:

  • How brightly lit the area is
  • The observer’s eye-sight quality
  • The amount of smoke in the air
  • The distance of the observer from the observed

The formula is laid out below.

goggles-formula

Here’s how to decode the formula:

  • An is the number of servings of alcohol
  • d is the distance between the observer and the observed, measured in meters
  • S is the smokiness of the area on a scale of 0 – 10
  • L is the lighting level of the area, measured in candelas per square meter, in which 150 is normal room lightning
  • Vo is Snellen visual acuity, in which 6/6 is normal and 6/12 is the lower limit at which someone is able to drive

The formula works out a “beer goggle” score ranging from 1 to 100+. When ø = 1, the observer is perceiving the same degree of beauty he or she would perceive in a sober state. At 100+, everybody in the room is a perfect 10.

And one last odd finding of the second study. “A nearsighted, sober person who isn’t wearing his or her glasses can experience a beer-goggle effect equivalent to drinking eight pints of beer.”

Zymurgy Poll Picks Best Beers In America

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aha
Zymurgy magazine, which is published by the American Homebrewers Association for its members, today released the results of their latest poll, asking their readers to “readers to send us a list of their 20 favorite beers. The only rule [was] that the beer [had] to be commercially available somewhere in the United States. A record number of votes were cast this year, with 1,192 different beers from 450 breweries represented in the poll.” So while the name of the poll is 2010 Zymurgy Best Beers In America, the list does include a few imported beers that are sold in the U.S.

For the second year in a row, Russian River’s Pliny the Elder took the top spot.

rr-pliny

2010 Zymurgy Best Beers In America Poll

  1. Russian River Pliny the Elder
  2. Bell’s Two Hearted Ale
  3. Stone Arrogant Bastard
  4. Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA
  5. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
  6. Stone IPA
  7. Tie for 7th
    • Bear Republic Racer 5
    • Guinness
    • Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Barleywine
    • Sierra Nevada Celebration
  8. Stone Ruination
  9. Tie for 12th
    • North Coast Old Rasputin
    • Sierra Nevada Torpedo
    • Rahr Winter Warmer
    • Rahr Ugly Pug
    • Rahr Iron Thistle
  10. Tie for 17th
    • Oskar Blues Ten Fidy
    • New Glarus Belgian Red
    • Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA
    • Duvel
  11. Tie for 21st
    • Lagunitas IPA
    • Samuel Adams Boston Lager
    • Rahr Storm Cloud
    • Saison Dupont
  12. Tie for 25th
    • Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout
    • Rahr Bucking Bock
    • Ommegang Three Philosophers

That’s the top 25, but the top 50 can bee seen at Zymurgy’s press release.

They also picked the top 25 favorite breweries, of which Rahr & Sons Brewing Co. of Fort Worth, Texas was number one and they “tabulated which breweries had the most brands in the voting. That honor went to Boston Beer Co. with 22 of its Samuel Adams brews getting votes. Dogfish Head was close behind with 20 brands.” You can also see the full list of Beer Portfolios and Favorite Breweries at the American Homebrewers Association website.

Japanese Paper Beer

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origami
Most people have probably heard of origami, the Japanese art of paper folding. But the Japanese propensity of coming up with unusual hobbies knows no boundaries. One of the tamer examples is the related art of making 3D paper models. Using vector software like Pepakura, 3D models are created in 2D and then sheets are created to cut out and build the paper models. I stumbled on one of these while searching for another image. It’s of a waitress serving beer to a bar patron. The title of it is Bunny Beer Maiden because the waitress is dressed in a bunny costume, a popular Japanese fetish theme. Instructions and more photos are also at Papercraft and also at Paperworks’ And Wind Until, which has even more views of the component parts of the paper models.

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First a vector drawing is created on a computer, and then individual pieces like a dress pattern are created that must be carefully cut out for assembly.

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After being put together, the server in bunny costume looks like this. See many other angles here.

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Here’s a close-up of the glasses of beer.

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And the customer with his beer. See many other angles here.

rabbgirl-02
And here’s the entire scene with the server, the customer and tables and chairs, all of which are made out of paper.

Inflatable Beer Mug Coolers

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ice-cooler
I don’t exactly know why this called to me, but for some reason it did. I’ve seen inflatable beer coolers before, but these seemed kind of cool to me. I guess I like the idea of putting the bottles or cans in a beer mug to cool them down. Like most people who take drinking seriously, I have a number of beer coolers of different sizes, shapes and materials. I also have three big keg tubs, too. But those you have to carry back from the beach or park or wherever remote location you’re hauling them to. With an inflatable one, you don’t have nearly as much to drag back home, which seems like a definitive advantage.

Anyway, the one I like best is from Europe, specifically Switzerland, and there’s one pretty similar available from England.

inflatable-mug-tub

I couldn’t find that one available in the U.S., but a different — though somewhat the same — inflatable mug cooler is available from eCrater and through Amazon.

inflatable-mug-tub-2

Epic Stops In San Francisco

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epic
My friend Luke Nicholas, the founder and brewer for New Zealand’s Epic Beer, was in town on Monday for a couple of days, before flying to Delaware to do a collaboration brew with Sam Calagione at Dogfish Head. I met up with him at 21st Amendment for a quick drink and to try two of his new beers.

The first, a stout, was also a collaboration between the Thornbridge Brewery in the UK. Rich and chocolately, it was a very nice stout. The second, Oaked Aged Armageddon IPA, is Luke’s regular IPA, but aged on lightly toasted oak. It uses all American hops: Cascade, Centennial, Columbus and Simcoe. At 66 IBUs it’s a big, hoppy, floral IPA. But for New Zealand — whose mainstream lagers are even lighter than our mainstream lagers — it’s so huge it’s … well, epic. But the toasted oak adds a nice dimension that’s subtle but a welcome addition.

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Luke and Zambo.

Also, new head 21A head brewer Zambo was just tapping their most recent creation, a Belgian-style IPA, similar to the Belgian Pale Ale they did last year, but hoppier, of course.

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Me and Luke outside 21A.

Older Bud No Weiser

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dogfish-head-green flying-fish iron-hill stone victory-hand yards-philly
The last event I attended during Philly Beer Week was the Older Bud No Wiser panel discussion at the World Cafe Live. Here’s how the event was promoted:

1996 was an historic year for Craft Brewing. It was in this year that Sam Calagione from Dogfish Head, Bill Covaleski from Victory, Mark Edelson of Iron Hill, Tom Kehoe of Yards, and Gene Muller of Flying Fish all took that epic leap of faith and started their own take on a craft brewery. Fourteen years later they’re all still in business and doing better then ever. Can you imagine what it would be like if they hadn’t? What a world it would be . . .

Host Greg Koch of Stone [which was also founded in 1996] will be your master of ceremonies as we turn back the clock to see what these monsters of craft brewing were doing and where their lives would have ended up, if not for hops.

Victory’s Blog also has a write-up on the event and you can watch the trailer below to see what was planned for the event.

Below is a video trailer for Older Bud No Weiser.

And it was also promoted with this hilarious fake class of ’96 yearbook, showing all of the brewery founders’ high school photos.

class-of-96-seniors

I arrived from the Kite and Key event, where we met the rest of the brewers assembled there. We got beers at the back of the theater as people streamed in and founds seats.

Toasting the Class of '96: Greg Koch, Mark Edelson, Bill Covaleski, Tom Kehoe, Gene Muller & Sam Calagione
Toasting the Class of ’96: Greg Koch, Mark Edelson, Bill Covaleski, Tom Kehoe, Gene Muller & Sam Calagione.

Once the theater filled up and everyone was in their seat, the first beer was served and the five brewer/brewery founders took to the stage.

Greg Koch MC'd the Panel of 5 Philly Area Brewers

Greg Koch served as emcee for the evening (although I took over for a short time twice throughout the long night) and after a short introduction about what a bad year 1996 was for the craft brewing industry, he introduced each of the five and they told their own story about starting their individual breweries that same year.

The Panel: Tom Kehoe, Gene Muller, Mark Edelson, Bill Covaleski & Sam Covaleski
The Panel: Tom Kehoe, Gene Muller, Mark Edelson, Bill Covaleski & Sam Covaleski

The evening went by quickly with all participants taking questions from the crowd, as the beer flowed freely. For each question asked, each brewer brought along several bottles of their own beer to give to participants who asked question, which — not surprisingly — led to even more questions. Bill at Victory tells me that they filmed the entire show and that they’re editing it down to a more manageable size. It should be an interesting record. One hilarious part of the evening that deserves a wide audience is the video below, which is a spoof of what might have become of the five brewery founders if they had not been successful with their respective brewers entitled “Craft Beer Class of ’96: Where are they now?”

Below is a slideshow of the World Cafe Live event. This Flickr gallery is best viewed in full screen. To view it that way, after clicking on the arrow in the center to start the slideshow, click on the button on the bottom right with the four arrows pointing outward on it, to see the photos in glorious full screen. Once in full screen slideshow mode, click on “Show Info” to identify each photo.

Odonata’s Youngest Employee

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odonata
Talk about a father’s day gift. I just got an e-mail from my friend Peter Hoey, who’s the co-founder and brewmaster of Odonata Brewing in Sacramento. His wife Britany gave birth last night to their second child, and first son, Liam. But I can’t help but beam with pride after reading his middle name. Now that’s a beautiful name — good choice. Peter tells me they’re “now home resting and getting to know him.” Please join me in congratulating Peter and Britany Hoey as they welcome the newest addition to the Odonata Brewing family.

Particulars:

Original Gravity: 9 pounds, 0 ounces
IBUs: 21 in.
Style: Boy
Release Date: June 19, 2010
Label: Liam Porter Hoey

Liam Hoey
Peter, Britany and Liam Hoey.

Philly Beer Week Wrap-Up

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philly-beer
As ever playing catch-up, here is my wrap-up from the two additional days I spent in Philadelphia for Philly Beer Week. Monday I covered with Hammer Time, and after a quiet Tuesday attended the Lambic Beer Dinner at Monk’s Cafe. Wednesday morning I let my art freak flag fly and took the train to the suburbs for a quick visit to the Barnes Foundation, which I wanted to visit before it’s moved to its new location against the wishes (and the will) of Albert Barnes. When I got back, I headed straight to Standard Tap, in the hopes of getting my own Bear Ninja Cowboy t-shirt — success! — more tater tots and a shopping excursion to the Foodery across the street where I happily ran into two folks from Founders Brewing, Michael Bell and Dave Engbers, doing a tasting there.

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Outside Standard Tap.

Then it was off to Nodding Head, where owner Curt Decker had invited me to his Sam, Tomme & Old Beer event, which featured some amazing nibbles (the Keen’s Farmhouse Cheddar was sooo good and so was the pork tenderloin with fig reduction) and ten rare beer from Dogfish Head, Lost Abbey and, of course, Nodding Head.

Nodding Head co-owner Curt Decker
Curt Decker, with Sam Calagione and Tomme Arthur at the Nodding Head bar.

I wasn’t able to stay for the entire event, because I had a 7:00 event I’d committed to, but it was very tempting to stay longer. Some of the beers served which I was lucky enough to try included Dogfish Head’s Immort Ale 2006 and Black & Blue 2008. Then there was Lost Abbey’s Red Barn 2009, Dogfish Head Olde School Barleywine 2006 and Lost Abbey Judgment Day 2007. And I finished off the event with a Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA from 2008.

Jack Curtin, Sam Calagione, Ed Friedland and Curt's assistant brewer
Jack Curtin, Sam Calagione, Ed Friedland and Curt’s assistant brewer, Gordon Grubb.

After that, I headed out for my next event, but had to make a quick detour at Fergie’s Pub to say hello to Carol Stoudt from Stoudts Brewing.

Carol Stoudt & me
Carol and me at Fergie’s Pub.

Then I grabbed a cab to the University of Pennsylvania’s Museum of Archeology & Anthropology for the main event of my evening: The Great Lambic Summit.

The Great Lambic Summit
The Great Lambic Summit featuring Armand Debelder (3 Fonteinen) Frank Boon (Brouwerij Boon), and Jean Van Roy (Brasserie Cantillon), along with Dan Shelton (Shelton Brothers).

After that, I cabbed back to the after party at Monk’s Cafe, where many out-of-town brewers had congregated.

Brendan Moylan and me in front of Monk's Cafe
Brendan Moylan wandered up while a group of us were talking outside Monk’s.

Before turning in for the night, I stopped by McGilllin’s Olde Ale House, where a pub crawl between local brewers was supposed to end. Unfortunately, I got there a little to late so I had a quick nightcap and stumbled back to my hotel.

McGillin's Olde Ale House
Late night outside McGilllin’s Olde Ale House, Philadelphia’s oldest bar.

The next day I slept in, then went for a walk to do some sightseeing and pick up gifts for the kids, ending up, as planned, at a cheesesteak place on Market Street — Sonny’s — for my fourth cheesesteak in four days. (You just can’t get a decent authentic one in San Francisco so I tend to go overboard when I’m back East.)

Eventually I ended up at the Kite and Key for the debut of a collaboration beer between Dogfish Head, Stone and Victory; Saison de BUFF. The BUFF part is an acronym for “Brewers United for Freedom of Flavor.” It’s a great saison, spicier than most, but still quite refreshing. It’s made with — try not to break into song — parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme.

Kite & Key co-owner Jim Kirk and me with Sam Calagione, Bill Covaleski & Greg Koch
Kite and Key co-owner Jim Kirk and me with Sam Calagione, Bill Covaleski and Greg Koch.

After that, I caught a ride with the three brewers to the World Cafe Live, but I’ll finish that story in another post.

Below is a slideshow of my last two days at Philly Beer Week. This Flickr gallery is best viewed in full screen. To view it that way, after clicking on the arrow in the center to start the slideshow, click on the button on the bottom right with the four arrows pointing outward on it, to see the photos in glorious full screen. Once in full screen slideshow mode, click on “Show Info” to identify each photo.