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Boobquake Monday

By

beer-gal-3
This is slightly off topic, except that I learned about it from British beer writer Melissa Cole. Perhaps you saw the news report where Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi is blaming earthquakes on women. Well, not all women, just the ones with the temerity to show a little skin. Sedighi is quoted as follows. “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.” Crazy, right? Maybe, but let’s make sure first.

Purdue senior Jen McCreight has a plan to test Sedighi’s theory. She wrote an offhand blog post at her Blag Hag entitled In the Name of Science, I Offer My Boobs. She’s asking all women everywhere this Monday, April 26, to wear their most revealing outfit, whether it’s cleavage enhancing, shoulder baring or ankle-showing. The idea is to see if all that immodest dressing (or lack of it) will “significantly increase the number or severity of earthquakes.” It may have started as a little joke, but nearly 90,000 people have signed up to participate on the Facebook Event Page for Boobquake so the event is taking on a life of its own. She’s even written some additional clarifications in case the idea raises your feminine hackles.

Here’s her entreaty to participate:

On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble. And if we really get through to him, maybe it’ll be one involving plate tectonics.

According to the Facebook Fan Page, the story’s now been featured on CNN and will be covered on BBC News shortly. I know Melissa Cole will be playing along, how about you? Can the immodesty of bare skin produce an earthquake? Let’s find out this Monday. If you decide to participate and tweet about it, the hashtag is #boobquake.

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British actress/model Jennifer Ellison doing her part a few years early, at a 2008 Axe the Tax Rally.

Bacon Peanut Butter Mashed Potatoes

By

fry
When I put the kids to bed, I often fall asleep myself after reading to them and snuggling. This happened again a few days ago, and when I woke up, I had an incomprehensible desire to make mashed potatoes with peanut butter. I figured it had to have been tried before, but came up snake eyes after I fired up the internet and found surprisingly few actual recipes, apart from mentions of it having been tried on Top Chef. My wife thought I was crazy — I am — and that it sounded disgusting. Undaunted, today I gave it a try. I used instant mashed potatoes because it was lunchtime and I was lazy, adding about two tablespoons of organic peanut butter to the milk (for what the potato mix says is for “6 servings,” which is just about the right amount for one me-sized serving.). After the water, salt and butter boiled, I added the instant flakes and then the PB-laced milk and began stirring. It actually mixed fairly easily.

I often make for lunch what I call “mashed potato surprise,” where I also add bacon, cheese and whatever else we happen to have in the refrigerator, like vegetables, or something similar (that’s the surprise part). It’s a quick and filling lunch. I decided that the peanut butter mashed potatoes would benefit from having bacon, too, and then I also added some shredded cheese just because. The bacon and peanut butter was awesome together and the cheese, while not standing out, didn’t get in the way either. It was actually much better than I expected and I’ll definitely be adding this to my lunchtime menu. Oh, and I paired it with with a hoppy Blind Pig IPA, from Russian River, which I have to say, worked pretty well..

Bacon Peanut Butter Mashed Potatoes
You can’t see it very well in the photo, but the normally snow white mashed potatoes are dulled a bit from the brown peanut butter. The lumps are the bacon bits.

Joyeuses Paques

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easter
Easter has to be one of the oddest holidays, a curious mix of religious and pagan traditions. Chocolate, bunny rabbits, eggs, and the newly undead happily mix for a curious stew of fertility rites and resurrection.

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Joyeuses Paques — a.k.a. Happy Easter — with beer-drinking eggs.

There are very few true Easter beers, Het Anker’s Gouden Carolus Easter Beer being perhaps the most obvious exception. Russian River’s Redemption also springs to mind for the name alone. My friend and UK colleague, Jeff Evans, has a great list of Ten Beers For Easter. There’s also the Swedish Påsköl. Carlsberg used to brew Påskeøl and Paaske Bryg, which has been replaced by Semper Ardens Easter Brew, along with Tuborg’s Easter Brew — Kylle, Kylle. And let’s not forget De Dolle’s Boskeun.

But notice how the dedicated Easter beers are all European? That’s hardly an accident as American puritanism seems to bristle at the idea of Easter beer, though wine, as usual, gets a pass for the holiday. When I worked for BevMo I recall that we virtually ignored beer entirely, promoting only wine for Easter. I’m sure there was market research behind that decision, but never understood the rationale underlying it. Plenty of beers go great with ham, yet only wines were given as recommended pairings. I’m probably not even having ham today, but I can guarantee there will be beer.

madelines-easter

Brilliant Beer Bottles

By

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While I can’t abide the assertion that in “a market dominated by Anheuser Busch and Miller-Coors [sic], finding beauty in beer is a difficult task,” this post from the Coolist showcasing 10 Brilliant Beer Bottle Designs is still a fun look at some cool designs for beer bottles and cans. While I have no trouble finding beauty in beer, I concede many of these beer packaging designs are a cut above. What are your favorites? And what did they miss?

Fucking Hell, I Need A Beer

By

austria
File this under news of the weird. According to the UK’s The Sun, the European Patent Office had to reverse their decision denying a company the right to produce a beer called Fucking Hell, when they were able to prove that Fucking is a real town in Austria. Or rather village, since there are only 104 people who live in Fucking, which is just 2-1/2 miles from the German border.

According to Wikipedia,

It is believed that the settlement was founded around the 6th century by Focko, a Bavarian nobleman. The existence of the village was documented for the first time in 1070 and historical records show that some twenty years later the lord was Adalpertus de Fucingin. The spelling of the name has evolved over the years; it is first recorded in historical sources with the spelling as Vucchingen in 1070, Fukching in 1303, Fugkhing in 1532, and in the modern spelling Fucking in the 18th century, which is pronounced with the vowel oo as in book. The ending -ing is an old Germanic suffix indicating the people of the root word to which it is attached; thus Fucking means “(place of) Focko’s people.”

Brewery spokesman Stefan Fellenberg said they plan to brew a Helles style beer. After years of trying on vain to keep people from stealing their town’s sign, and engaging in intercourse either in front of it or in town, the village instead decided to cash in instead. They may have gotten the idea from nearby Wank Mountain residents, who gave them some advice recently. Frankly, I can’t really blame them, though no doubt the U.S. will never give label approval. Guns and violence, yes. Sex, never. Even the Sun piece wouldn’t print either the word Fucking or Wank even though they’re legitimate place names. I’m constantly amazed at how utterly fearful we are about just … words.

Fing-Austria

Here’s another humorous addition about the signs in the village. “One version of the sign features the village name with an additional sign beneath it, with the words “Bitte — nicht so schnell!”, which translates from German into English as “Please — not so fast!” The lower sign – which features an illustration of two children — is meant to inform drivers to watch their speed, but tourists see this as a double-meaning coupled with the village name.”

The Flintstones Drink Busch Beer

By

rocky
I’m an unabashed lover of animation, which is why I always bristle when the neo-prohibitionists invariably complain when a cartoon is used to sell beer. They always argue that cartoons appeal only to children, and seem to forget that adults love them, too. Many of the most famous cartoons we love were originally made for adults, to be shown before feature films at the theater in the days before television. It wasn’t until the advent of TV, I’d argue, that the split began between cartoons for kids and for adults.

Anyway, I recently was looking for and found a bootleg DVD of old Quisp & Quake commercials, which were created by Jay Ward, famous for Rocky & Bullwinkle, among much else. And, yes, I am that much of an animation geek. Anyway, I also discovered at the same website, something I hadn’t previously known about: a Hanna-Barbera made Flintstones cartoon done in 1967 for an Anheuser-Busch distributor meeting or convention. I promptly ordered that as well.

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It’s a little over 19 minutes, shows some upcoming television and radio spots for Busch Bavarian Beer, but also includes a mini-Flinstones story, too, that begins when Fred and Barney lose their jobs and go to a bar to drink Busch beer. It appears aimed at distributors, and possibly retailers, to show what advertising will be used in 1967 to support the brand and help it continue to be successful. There’s some great old adspeak in the video, where the narrator talks about “advertising that moves the consumer to Busch” with what they call — and they say in hushed tones implying it’s a new term — “Target Advertising.” But here’s my favorite. “We used words that beer drinkers understood.” That had me laughing out loud. What exactly are the words that beer drinkers understand? Are they small ones? Simple ones? Ones without too many syllables?

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After a few minutes of a Flintstones story, going to the bar, then back home, the boys return again to the bar. The bar’s name is actually “Tavern-Type Inn Bar Grill Lounge Pub Saloon.” They agree to take over for the bartender and serve some Busch beer, then watch a video within the video that’s aimed at the distributors and talks about advertising plans for 1967. Apparently last year’s slogan was “you can’t say beer better than Busch” and the new one will be “when you’re due for a beer, Busch does it!.”

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I think my favorite part of the video is when the beer wagon comes out of the A-B gate, pulled by Clydes-dinos. After the video, the 5:00 whistle sounds and Fred and Barney have to go back to work serving Busch to the after work rush. When they’re done, they talk about what hard work it was, and they throw out this bon mot, which must have delighted the crowd. “It takes know how to work in the beer business,” to which Fred replies “yeah, and we got no know how, no how.” Eventually, their boss from the gravel pit, Mr. Slate, comes in the bar and they get their jobs back, of course, wrapping up the story arc from the beginning.

It’s a fun cartoon, especially for the beer geek, and I can’t imagine how expensive it must have been to get Hanna-Barbera, one of the premiere animation studios at that time, to do an industrial film for them. Happily, you don’t have to go out and buy a copy of it like I did, but can watch it right here, because I found it on YouTube, separated into two parts. Enjoy.

Part 1: 9:22

Part 2: 9:59

1001 Beers Today

By

reading-book
The book I contributed to, 1001 Beers You Must Try Before You Die, comes out today in the U.S. The book is the collaborative effort of 42 beers writers from around the world. We each wrote up beers from our areas of expertise, telling the beer’s story and also including tasting notes. There are 1,001 beers from 69 different countries listed, though the United States has more in the book than any other nation. I contributed 35 beers to the project, many of them from the Bay Area or the West Coast, with seven more American beer writers — all friends and colleagues — filling in the rest. Some of the beers were chosen by the editorial staff and the Adrian Tierney-Jones who headed the project, and the rest were suggested by all of the other writers. Some of the other contributors you might be familiar with include Stephen Beaumont, Pete Brown, Melissa Cole, Chuck Cook, Stan Hieronymus, Rick Lyke, Lisa Morrison, Randy Mosher, Chris O’Brien and Don Russell.

1001-beers

It’s a beautiful book, I must say, fully illustrated with nearly every beer’s label or bottle shown in full color. With every beer getting at least a half-page and most a full one, it’s also one seriously heavy book, weighing in at nearly five pounds and with 960 pages! I’m not sure where it will be sold, but it is currently available on Amazon.com, though the American cover is the one above, showing a full pint and bottle of our own Anchor Steam beer. It’s certainly great to see a book about beer from around the world that uses a San Francisco favorite on the cover.

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Most pages look like this, which is the first beer reviewed, Odell 5 Barrel Pale Ale (it’s also one of mine.)

The True Joy Of Homebrewing

By

ba
Congratulations to Charlie Papazian, and his wife Sandra, on the birth of their daughter, Carla Vitoria, born March 19. Charlie, of course, is the founder and president of the Brewers Association, and the author of The Joy of Homebrewing. According to a recent tweet, mother and daughter are doing fine. Join me in wishing Charlie and Sandra warmest wishes and congratulations on their new bundle of joy.

Particulars:

Original Gravity: 9 lbs., 1 oz.
IBUs: 21 3/4 in.
Style: Girl
Release Date: March 19, 2010
Label: Carla Vitoria Papazian
Notes: “Full bodied. Long on enJOYability. Fermentation has commenced.”

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Charlie with his new daughter, Carla

Pairing Beer With Your Zodiac Sign

By

zodiac
I should confess at the outset that I think astrology is utter nonsense so this person’s attempt to pair with beer the twelve zodiac signs already seems to me to be an exercise in futility, a complete waste of time insofar as I can see no way such a list could ever be remotely useful or accurate. That being said, I can’t help but be curious about her choices. The list was complied by Fern Feto Spring and yes, that’s actually her name. She’s been a professional astrologer since 1990, lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and writes primarily at her website Wisestars. To say I find it strange that she’d even attempt to divine what beers people should be drinking according to when they were born is an understatement. Do the results speak for themselves? Oh yeah, but I’ll interject a bit anyway.

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Here’s her introduction:

There are as many different types of beer as there are people, with a myriad of brands and flavors to choose from. So whether you prefer light or dark beer, ale or stout, there is a beer out there for you. But do you know which beer is most likely to satisfy the inner workings of your astrological sign? Read on to find out what the cosmos have to say about one of America’s most popular beverages.

Where to begin. First of all, if we’re talking about alcoholic beverages, beer is America’s most popular beverage, not one of them, outselling the nearest competitor at least four to one. And, of course, stout is an ale, so I’m not sure about the distinction she’s making there.

So here are her suggestions for what beer should be your favorite, depending on your zodiac sign. If you want to read the full write-ups and her apparent rationale for choosing each beer, check out both part 1 and part 2. To give you an example, here’s the full write-up for Pisces, which is what I happen to be:

Gentle Pisces, your sensitive and poetic imagination encourages you to seek out a beer that has a slightly sweet flavor and an easy finish. You prefer light beers with a fruity signature. Paradise Ale has a flowery influence that is perfect for your artistic self. This beer mixes both new and traditional influences to create a taste that was made for you.

I confess I had to look up the beer, which is one of Theakston’s seasonal beers, Paradise Ale. As far as I know, it’s not one they import and though I’ve been to the UK countless times, I don’t believe I’ve ever run across it. That alone makes it an odd choice. You’d think she would have chosen beers people might actually have a good shot at finding.

The full list:

  • Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): Anchor Humming Ale
  • Pisces (Feb. 19–Mar. 20): Theakston Paradise Ale
  • Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): Killian’s Irish Red (Coors)
  • Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): Guinness Stout
  • Gemini (May 21–June 21): Corona, with a slice of lime
  • Cancer (June 22–July 22): Newcastle Brown Ale
  • Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Chimay
  • Virgo (Aug. 23–Sep. 22): Anchor Summer Ale
  • Libra (Sep. 23–Oct. 23): Smithwick’s Draught
  • Scorpio (Oct. 24–Nov. 21): Theakston Old Peculiar
  • Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Russian River Pliny the Younger
  • Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): Samuel Smith Indian Pale Ale (sic)

It’s an eclectic list to say the least. Two Anchor beers, one which they’ll likely not be making very often. Two from Theakston. Smithwick’s Irish Ale was imported around 2004, but has since been pulled from the American market. The list is certainly UK heavy given that she’s in the Bay Area. On the plus side, she’s included Pliny the Elder and Chimay, though not specifying which Chimay. But then there’s Corona, Killian’s and Newcastle.

As I said at the outset, silly and pointless, but there you have it. I’m stuck on an airplane with nothing but silly and pointless to entertain me. Perhaps instead of the cliched pick-up line “what’s your sign” this will inspire people to change it to “what’s your beer?” That’s a line I could get behind.