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They Said It Couldn’t Be Done

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guinness-glass
Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow and for most people that means Guinness, here’s a little reminder of something in Guinness’ recent past that I imagine they’d rather remained buried. But it’s just too funny not to share. In 1979, Guinness released a low-calorie beer they called “Guinness Light.” According to Ireland Fun Facts, “people here still talk about the advertising campaign, which used the tagline ‘they said it couldn’t be done.’ Apparently it couldn’t. Guinness Light flopped so sensationally it earned the title ‘The HMS Titanic of stout products’ from The Irish Times.”

It’s not hard to see why. I can scarcely imagine something more oxymoronic than Guinness Light. But for true liquid-shooting-out-your-nose laughs, watch the uber-bombastic television commercial that attempts to equate the beer with man landing on the moon. With bonus points for using the sunrise fanfare from “Thus Spake Zarathustra” by Richard Strauss (trust me, you’ll know it when you hear it), I love the editing of the people turning their heads quickly toward the camera and the faux echo chamber voice over. Just hilarious. But put your drink down first. Enjoy.

Beer In Ads #65: Thirsty Moon Beer

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ad-billboard
Monday’s ad is an attempt to contrast Friday’s, which you may recall was the Girl in the Moon for Miller High Life. I don’t know much about this ad, though I believe it’s from the 1930s. It appears to be from Germany but looks not at all like a typical ad for a German beer. In this case, instead of the girl being in the moon, she’s instead offering the thirsty moon a drink of beer.

thirsty-moon-beer

Beer, Health & Nutrition

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health
There’s a nice article by the nutrition correspondent for Ask Men, Simon McNeil, entitled The Health Benefits of Beer. There’s no new ground covered, but he does offer a good overview of recent findings showing that beer is healthier for us — in moderation of course — than previously believed. It’s also great to see that message get some play in a mainstream magazine.

Odonata Website Launched

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odonata
Sacramento’s newest brewery, Odonata Beer. Co. — recently founded by formed Sacramento Brewing’s Peter Hoey and former DRAFT magazine beer director Rick Sellers — has just launched their new website, which for months has been essentially wallpaper. For updates, there’s also the brewery blog, too. You can also get a look at the now-approved label for what they hope will become their flagship beer, Saison Ale. It’s great to see things moving forward. Hopefully there will be beer to fill the bottles with those label very soon.

odonata-saison

The Cult of Beers Next Session Topic

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Our next Session is a little less than three weeks away, but it’s not to early to start thinking about it. The topic chosen by our host, Beer Search Party, is cult beers; those beers that are in short supply, high demand and often require going to great lengths to acquire.

Here’s how our host, Sean Inman, describes the topic:

With Kate the Great Day a recent memory and the day of the Dark Lord fast approaching, I started thinking about what beer or beers that I would get up at 4:00 in the morning, drive across state lines, stand in a long unmoving line in the cold and rain for the chance to taste with a crowd the size of Woodstock.

So here is my question to you (with a couple addenda).

What beer have you tasted recently (say, the last six months or so) that is worthy of their own day in the media sun?

And to add a little extra to it, how does “great” expectations affect your beer drinking enjoyment?

AND If you have attended one of these release parties, stories and anecdotes of your experience will be welcomed too.

So get cracking, get yourself a cult beer and start working on your own cult of personality. Then reveal it and get found on Friday, April 2 over at the Beer Search Party.

Beer In Art #69: Alex Caldwell’s Typographic Beer Destinations

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art-beer
Today’s work of art was originally created while Alex Caldwell was still in college, a project presumably for one of his classes at Philadelphia University. It’s called Typographic Beer Destinations and tells the story in type of a journey from home to Philadelphia.

Typographic-Beer-Directions

But not just any journey, a trip involving stops at beer destination every ten minutes along the way. And like any great journey, it begins with someone calling “shotgun.” Here’s the story of the work:

This assignment was to simply create a poster with directions from our home (Central New Jersey for myself) to Philadelphia. I themed it around the idea of getting a beer every ten minutes at a different bar along the way. I tried to convey the idea of a drunken night by making it jumbled and somewhat confusing. I also threw in some random things that one might have said in this adventure. All the directions are there though.

Click through to see the image much larger. Especially check out the warning label, which reads:

Government Warning: (1) The artist does not condone drinking and driving. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems. (3) If drinking, get a designated driver and make sure to call shotgun.

You can also buy a copy of the print, in three different sizes.

Caldwell graduated the year after he made this, and freelances at his own Caldwell Designs. You call also see more of his work at his DeviantArt gallery.

Redesign Newcastle’s Label

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newcastle
Whatever your feelings about Newcastle Brown Ale, it is perceived as one of the classic English brown ales and its label is one of the most recognizable.

newcastle

So I was surprised to see that Newcastle is sponsoring a contest to redesign their iconic label. The contest is known as Your Beer Your Label and gives you two ways to create a new label, either using their online label generator or download a template and have at it with your favorite graphics software (or at least Adobe Illustrator or Photoshop).

newk-ale-queen

The Online Design Tool is actually pretty fun to use and you can do quite a bit of manipulation using it, as evidenced by the many submitted designs.

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Unfortunately, the contest ends tomorrow, so if you want to play around or submit your own, you better get cracking.

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Though you can still look at the submitted designs and vote for your favorite until the end of March.

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Though in the end I wish they were going to do a run of bottles with the winner’s design or, better still, with the top few vote-getters. I think that would have been cool. But instead all the winners get is displayed on Newcastle’s website which seems like a pretty poor payoff for all the effort.

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Oh, well, perhaps it’s just as well, as despite some very cool label designs submitted, the label below is currently at the top of the heap with the most votes cast. I guess that either says something about human nature or the demographics of Newcastle drinkers.

newk-number-1

Beer In Ads #64: Miller High Life Witch

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ad-billboard
Friday’s ad is for Miller High Life featuring the “Girl in the Moon,” which was originally created in the early 1900’s by an unknown artist. The beer itself debuted in 1903 and was advertised with the girl in the moon from the beginning, though to me she looks more like a witch. I think it’s that hat. It’s rumored that the model for her was brewery founder Frederick Miller’s granddaughter. But I’ve always liked the stylized, colorful costume she wears.

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And here’s another one featuring her.

miller-hi-life

Backlash Brewing In Pennsylvania

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After the furor caused by the state police raids on three Philadelphia bars, and a subsequent raid on a beer distributor, there does appear to be a backlash coming. Several people predicted that was one possible outcome — I believe Don and Lew both mentioned it — and now it may indeed be playing out that way. In a new report posted today by Don Russell and Bob Warner, Beer-Raid Flap Coming to a Head, Hearing Ordered, it appears that the state legislature has scheduled a joint hearing (of the House Liquor Control Committee and the Senate Judiciary Committee) for April 13 to look into the matter.

From the article:

“We’re scared,” one bar owner told the Daily News. “I’ve instructed my staff to match every beer we get delivered with the PLCB’s list of registered brands. If it’s not on the list, we’re not going to take delivery.”

Sources told the Daily News that several beer distributors in other parts of the state had been visited by State Police in search of unregistered beer.

As I’ve opined before, this is creating a culture of fear among legitimate business people and that’s not something our government should be doing, especially under the economic duress of today. Lew Bryson has even set up a new Facebook page, Abolish the PLCB-Rewrite the Code. After a few short hours there were nearly 3,000 members. Even if you’re not from Pennsylvania, join it and show the world that we’re tired of arcane alcohol laws and they need to be changed.

There’s also a new separate account by Patrick Walters of the Associated Press, Brew-haha Frothing Over Philly Bar Raids.